scotty

She's just generally sexy, alf. I thought this thread was for birds you'd shag who weren't, ahem, conventionally attractive. Now, if you'd said Martha Kearney..... http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/336x189/p00vbzkg.jpg

oh christ, I'd forgotten her. She had the look of a bird who would absolutely wreck you in bed. Lovely.

...hmm....big julie, eh? Can you send me her mobile number?

You can quote me on this mike , if we're still alive in about 50 years time. "Smoking and drinking have turned out to be beneficial. The perceived health risks are outweighed by the lower stress levels of smokers and drinkers."

Can't argue that at all mike, these cunts change their fucking minds with the weather.

Not after I've finished with it.

I bet she's proper filthy db, she's got that look about her. She'd absolutely fucking ruin you in bed, then feed you a cake afterwards. What's not to like?

Spot on. (arf) They sold us hydrogenated fats, because they were less unhealthy than butter. Then they informed us that actually they're worse, because the hydrogenated fats slip unnoticed into the bloodstream and cause horrendous problems within it. They sold us saccharine drinks because they are healthier than sugary ones. Then they told us that it massively increases the risk of diabetes because the body recognises a hit of sugar that doesn't arrive. All of this utter bollocks was decades after we'd been ingesting this shit, believing it was good for us. I don't trust these cunts any farther than I can throw them. And that's not very far.

To be honest alfie, I don't believe for a moment that this pair of cunts really thought they were doing gods will. They had their own political agenda, the god stuff was to keep the yank electorate onside, just like the israel /palestine "peace process" bullshit which managed to keep claire short inside the tent pissing out instead of doing a robin cook and resigning. If she'd gone, blair would have lost all credibility.

Ah, but you're forgetting one crucial point Rick. God was on their side, bush and blair told us so and they had a hotline to him so it must have been true.

As luke says, edwina currie. Oh, the shame.....and also the sordid reason for me discovering this website. I'd have fucked her ragged.

I saw one of your fellow mancs last week manky, john cooper clarke. He did a rather good gag about just that subject, to wit.... Two Jewish lads walking past a Catholic church, there's a sign outside, "convert today and we'll give you £20." One decides to go in, the other waits outside for him. Half an hour later out he trots, his mate asks "so, did you convert?" He replies "Yes, as a matter of fact I did. The priest made a lot of sense." His mate asked "Did you get the £20?" The lad replies "is that all you people think about?"

"Brought back", snatch. "Brought". Write that out one hundred times.

Just to clarify manky, ape here probably means that as a compliment.

I despise these gossiping cunts. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be on the sex offenders register.

Yes. The flags are pointless though, by the time the car driver sees it he's already started to pull out. Net result: one dead child.

Passed away by drowning in the Thames, db? 

Do you think he's made of money?

Worse still are those fucking trailers the stupid cunts use. You know, the ones that are invisible from cars, so the driver sees a cycle go past, pulls out and hits the trailer he hasn't seen.

It's a bit late for any of that, bill. However, if you're in the mood for a little existential discussion I'm quite happy to oblige. (and before baws jumps in with his obligatory finbarr saunders reference, that wasn't a euphemism.)

Come off it neil, assuming you could climb onto it you'd still fuck it.

This particular cunt got done on the old site, but it definitely bears repeating. As I pointed out at the time; "Can I get". Three words that ought to be prohibited in the UK under pain of death. If that can't be achieved, there should be an unwritten convention that anybody saying them is to be given a fucking good kicking by the nearest group of people.

Probably wouldn't be the first time something buzzing on gobblers duvet has triggered an orgasm.

Why did the phone navigation in my van pick this particular evening to declare "your route is clear. You will arrive at nineteen fifty-five."

That pmail from the sheep to our antipodean friend was pure, undiluted, classic wad. Southern never saw it as the thick cunt sent it to me instead, presumably by mistake. Then she spent the next 48 hours trying to apologise, fuck knows why. If there's any doubt about the wad/profb link I'm sure one of the modmins could either confirm or correct the notion.