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Everything posted by Cuntybaws

  1. If that one makes the Top Ten on Sicki I'll buy you a pint myself!
  2. By the tickling of my plums, something viscous this way comes.
  3. "Sweet moderation, heart of this nation, desert us not, we are between the wars."
  4. Give it another half an hour or so and Poesklap might make mention of a ziggurat when he thinks my attention is elsewhere. Juvenalia are a cunt.
  5. Fuck me, that's an uncanny resemblance! (Apart from the tits, obviously, which are making me queasier every time I observe their periodic undulations.)
  6. Country, my arse, it's a jumped up Principality-cum-Grand Duchy full of wankers who are insufferably smug without any good reason. It always makes me think of those Vulgarian cunts from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
  7. The Oxfam Lottery advert currently polluting the airwaves has to rank high among the worst fucking shit I have ever seen, and I've seen some right fucking shit, I can tell you. If you can last that long, check out the cunt on the left at 00:41 - put a fucking bra on, you sag-titted abomination!
  8. Wire brush and Dettol for that shit!
  9. It’s the end times, Ratty. Yesterday I saw an owl digging a burrow in broad daylight, and a flock of songbirds mauling a badger.
  10. This is unusually erudite for you, Bill, have you been taking NZT-48?
  11. Which, ironically, is where Alesha was from. I suppose the one consolation is that she's definitely gone to a better place.
  12. Cuntybaws

    Theresa May

    Jesus fucking Christ, can't a man groom a newbie in peace these days?
  13. Cuntybaws

    Theresa May

    Sorry to be a pedant on your first day, but you've spelled "masturbation" wrong.
  14. Fuck that sort of cushy number. This cunt qualifies for my proposed "Escape from New York" style facility, which will see a giant wall built around the Isle of Wight. All the scum and dregs of society, the sort who really deserve the death penalty that we don't have any more, will be dropped in there and left to fend for themselves. No rules, no guards, no tobacco allowance, no fucking parole, just forget all about them for twenty years or so and then let's see how many of the cunts are left.
  15. What an utter fucking biff that creature is. Shame she didn't "fall down the stairs" when she got to the police station.
  16. Fuck off he was, he nailed himself to that cross.
  17. Nature? Sounds to me like God fucked up big style on this one.
  18. Man's handcuffed body found in Southampton river Anyone you know, @scotty? Only he sounds like a biblical-level stupid fucking cunt.
  19. If it houses the maternity unit that birthed Drew, then I can see where you're coming from.
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