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Cuntybaws

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Everything posted by Cuntybaws

  1. Cuntybaws

    Workies

    Q. What's the difference between an egg and a wank? A: You can beat an egg.
  2. Cuntybaws

    Bob Monkhouse

    From Wikipedia: Arbuckle's acquittal in the third trial was accompanied by an unprecedented statement of apology from the jury stating, in part, that, "Acquittal is not enough for Roscoe Arbuckle. We feel that a great injustice has been done him… there was not the slightest proof adduced to connect him in any way with the commission of a crime. From which we can deduce that he actually did her up the shitter, such japes being perfectly legal in the state of California.
  3. Cuntybaws

    Workies

    I'm fairly confident you've just imagined that there's such a word as "workies". Is this a NEET cunt, because almost without exception those are the very worst of the dregs of humanity, the sort of useless fuck like Cuntwad who'd roll in brandishing an ECDL as if it was a Doctorate from MIT.
  4. Cuntybaws

    Bob Monkhouse

    They had their moments, in fairness, but on the whole I'd rather stick circular files up my urethra than watch them. Chaplin was a completely unfunny cunt, along with Keaton and Lloyd. Fatty Arbuckle was good for a laugh, though.
  5. Cuntybaws

    Let Toys Be Toys

    But you'll get no apologies...
  6. Cuntybaws

    Gemma Collins

    Killer?
  7. Cuntybaws

    Let Toys Be Toys

  8. Cuntybaws

    Bob Monkhouse

    At the risk of sounding uncannily like Pen, what are your thoughts on Laurel & Hardy?
  9. Cuntybaws

    Royal Wacky Races

    From the little-sung third verse of John Lennon's magnum opus.
  10. Cuntybaws

    Royal Wacky Races

    Your Linux Mint 18 is either a pile of steaming fucking crap or, as the old IT saw has it, there's a persistent error in the carbon layer.
  11. Cuntybaws

    RAMADAM

    Allah obviously intended these cunts to stay in the deserts close to the equator, away from civilised people. That's why he could afford to make them so fucking ugly, and also why he gave then all the oil and fake dinosaur fossils. Fucked if I know why he dropped the Jews in there too, mind you, fucking infallible my arse,
  12. Cuntybaws

    RAMADAM

    Turns out that Ramadamadingdong is actually in the dictionary. (And by "the" dictionary, I mean Urban Dictionary.) https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ramadamadingdong
  13. Cuntybaws

    Alcohol Free Spirits

    On a Hendricks-related side note, do you put cucumber in? (Just getting in first before pukeape makes an unfunny vegetable/dildo joke.)
  14. Cuntybaws

    Alcohol Free Spirits

    Can't even use it to make Molotov cocktails. Totally fucking useless.
  15. Oh look, it's this cunt again. Let’s play a game of “fuck off!” You go first.
  16. Cuntybaws

    Gemma Collins

    Anyway, back on topic, the odds are good that the adipose fucking ham planet is actually only vomiting to make room for more cake.
  17. Cuntybaws

    Gemma Collins

    To be fair, it is only half-way through January. It's certainly long overdue from the black-toothed, wizened, peg-selling old crone. She's going to hit her 10,000th post any day now, so it's about fucking time she came up with something.
  18. Cuntybaws

    Gemma Collins

    Fuck it, the stupid Spanish cunt.
  19. Cuntybaws

    Fat Horses

    Do you mean horse steaks and burgers, or whopping great ejaculating horse cocks? Just checking...
  20. Cuntybaws

    THIRD REFERENDUM

    In remission again, 'eavans? How long have we got you for this time?
  21. Cuntybaws

    Preachy Gillette Ad

    It's called belming.
  22. Cuntybaws

    THIRD REFERENDUM

    I think it might be, just possibly, because all MPs are cunts?
  23. Cuntybaws

    Cunts who put “sauce” bottle on the table

    Every last one of the southern fucking jessies on here who disparage these traditional accoutrements of alpha masculinity need to have their shrivelled testicles removed with a rusty bread knife, deep-fried in a chip pan, and then simultaneously force fed to them both orally and anally. (I suspect there wouldn't be much force required on the "anally" front.)
  24. Cuntybaws

    People using my living room as a garage

    33% of fuck all is a fairly minimal deterrent, mathematically speaking.
  25. Cuntybaws

    People using my living room as a garage

    Fucking hell, I get back after a long weekend in rehab and this is what I find? Might I suggest, in all seriousness, taking "The Leader Board" and all its various buttons and binning the whole fucking lot once and for all. As an added bonus this would reduce that fucking wanker Albert's passive-aggressive contributions by somewhere around 90%.
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