Cuntybaws

It's been tried, Alf. They tend to get less votes than the Monster Raving Loony Party.

Bring on the zombie apocalypse and the total breakdown of law and order. That cunt up the road doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to kill him and fuck his wife - then eat her brains.

They've just done VIPoo too, although I don't know if that particular chicken came after our egg. http://adturds.co.uk/2017/03/05/vipoo-advert-proof-living-simulation/ I only check the site once in a while as it doesn't update too often, but it's had some real fucking gems over the years. I know this is hard to imagine, but I reckon the cunt who writes it hates Halifax adverts even more than I do. ISA, ISA, Baby.

As the old ditty had it, "There ain't no black in the Union Jack..."

You had me on board at "Adverts", Dan. http://adturds.co.uk/2017/01/15/crimes-music-flash-dacia-queen-adverts/

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

She's an extreme cunt.

If you don't hate someone whose reaction to a difficult environment is to blow up innocent children then you're on the wrong web site. Tebbit reckons the vile old cunt is burning in hell, but he doesn't seem to understand Catholicism. Having repented on his deathbed, Martin is now enjoying his 40 virgins and God's left hand, or whatever load of old shite these cunts believe.

This is quite easily, by a country fucking mile, the worst load of old fucking shite I've ever woken up to - and I remember Rothers! Belmerson, Flake & Spalmer. There, let that be an end to it.

A "human centipede" constructed from Emin and Ono would be a sight to behold.

His name wasn't Nigel, was it? Babylon's still burning.

I made it through almost five minutes of this abject shitfest before the foot went through the telly, metaphorically speaking. What idiot told these cunts they were funny, the stupid fucking yurt dwelling, piss drinking, placenta eating, hairy chinned, mung bean munching, man hating, hemp wearing, matted-fannied, free bleeding, uber dykes.

It almost certainly goes without saying, but let me say it anyway for the avoidance of doubt. I'm glad he's dead.

Now that you mention it, they all prostrate themselves several times a day before the altar in the corner and worship it. It's Octonauts usually, sometimes In The Night Garden or Thomas The Tank Engine. So much for the Second Commandment.

I don't think there were nearly enough tits in "Showgirls".

A friend's daughter works in a nursery. A few weeks back they sent all the staff on a training course designed - and I shit you not - to equip them to "recognise the early signs of radicalisation". That's a fucking nursery school, mind, where none of the kids are older than 4. I hope none of the little cunts bring a clock in, or it's water boarding time.

You really don't want to know about the other FF, believe me.

A fair point, well made. However, this is just a variation on the old Corner quandary where you have two cunts stood in front of you and only one bullet. Several solutions have been proposed over the years, which essentially boil down to "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out."

You’re using footballers like a pale shadow of Godwin’s Law here. Just because someone else is worse doesn’t mean it’s OK to shill for Santander or punt life insurance like a poor man’s Michael Parkinson. (That said, it is mildly amusing to see the thick cunt being out-acted by a dachshund.) At least in the olden days amateur Olympians had actual jobs and funded their own noble bids for gold, rather than sucking off government and lotteries for grants. I’ll bet that boss-eyed cunt Ennis and that Quorn-munching skeleton Farah haven’t paid back a penny since they climbed on board the advertising gravy train with a ticket the taxpayers bought them.

I wouldn't do that round here, pal, some cunt will stick his cock in your mouth.

After a night on the vindaloo I once shat out an almost perfect scale replica of the River Ganges, but Mrs Baws refused to display it as a diorama.

Sweet Little Sixteen, she's got the grown - up blues, Tight dresses and lipstick, she's sportin' high - heel shoes. Oh but tomorrow morning she'll have to change her trend, And be sweet sixteen and back in class again.

It's lucky you resisted the temptation, because any cunt who's stupid enough to pay £55 for a bit of plastic to "colour coordinate" part of the internet of things is automatically flagged on the hit list of every hacker collective in Russia and China. You might have woken up this morning to find your fridge defrosted and your hoover shagging your dog.

American plugs are by far the worst offenders. How the fuck did they ever make it to the moon with such a fundamental flaw in this most basic of technologies?