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About Jiggerycock

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    Unequivocal Cunt
  • Birthday March 27

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    Turkish Delight. Battering fuck out the back of wardrobes. Lions and insertions into dwarves

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  1. Worry not, for Special Agent Steve Bruce has been sent to destroy the empire of evil from within. The barcoded fuckwits are burning up social media with despair at this turn of events, talk of boycotting St James' Park and 'bunnin woz Spurts Dee-rect shoooorts in prur-test, like'
  2. They had no problem arresting miners going to a demo, but now they can think up of thousands of reasons why they shouldn't move these people on. The reality is these Eco Loons are on the same side of the establishment, so get given a free pass to make our lives a misery. Dole Not Coal
  3. Jiggerycock


    Well if it stops him releasing anymore 'Messianic Twat-rock' songs then this is a good thing. Mr The Edge can fuck off as well
  4. Well, Universities have broken up and it's something to do before going on your 'gap yah'
  5. Stanley???1 Albert??! Egad and odds bodikins it's a good lookout that Thaddeus, Bertram and Reuben were spared
  6. Glastonbury is a church for the tragic and right-on - and the music is about as good as a Sunday morning at your local chapel too
  7. Double entendre = French for 'fucking stupid joke'. Which puts me in mind of that time when David Attenborough was on one of his dull-but-worthy jaunts to the rainforest and he said " Here...in the forest canopy, you can get a real feel for the precarious balance in which this delicate eco-system is held. RIP MY FUCKING CLOTHES OFF AND MAKE ME YOUR DIRTY FUCKING WHORE YOU BIG SILVERBACKED BASTARD....oh, er, I appear to have cum" ....at least I think that's what he said. It may have been James Buerk.
  8. Fuck Glastonbury. Fuck healthy looking, fashionably-dressed, rich kids pretending they're countercultural. Fuck pop megastars on the main stage. Fuck Jo Whiley, Huw Stevens and Lauren Laverne - who you thought would know better - for mindlessly shilling whatever crap comes on. Basically, Fuck the BBC for being snooty about loud guitar music. Fuck The Killers headlining AGAIN. Fuck middle-aged, middle-class, people being really fucking twee about it. It's a farm in Somerset. It's not some mystical Narnia / Neverneverland mashup Fuck the poseurs who never would have gone to a festival back in the late 90s and early 00s. In fact, fuck going to a festival coz its the done thing to do. Fuck "festival fashion" (you don't need a wanky pair of wellies, get a pair of Docs you cunts). Fuck selling tickets before a single band has been announced. Don't give me the "it's not about the music, man" pseudo-hippie bullshit. It's clearly not about the music - it's about seeing, being seen, and being seen to be seen. Fuck people who like the churned out shit they're told to like. Fuck people who treat music like its a fashion accessory. Fuck the Guardian(obviously). Fuck Emily "I want to be Kate Moss!" Eavis. Next year, I hope Morrissey headlines, comes out with some thoroughly over-reaching right-wing bullshit and it absolutely pisses down.
  9. Seriously, I don't have a problem with the sport. I take it for what it is and go with that and fair play to all concerned. It's competitive, there's less cheating, skill albeit at a far slower pace and, well, it's England innit? My issue is with the BBC's coverage and it's lion(ess)ization of the tournament to the level of incredulity, reaching its nadir with shit like 'Marta equalling Miroslav Klose's record as the World Cup's leading goalscorer', for fuck's sake!
  10. Eat some sugar for Christ sakes, this is England we're talking about! We'll either throw away a three goal lead with 4 minutes to go or we'll be retrospectively kicked in the collective cunt by some edict from FIFA (operating under an emergency directive from Jean-Claude Junker) that Kraut goals count double and we should play with our legs tied together, in full blackout glasses.....wanking (which will mean an upgrade in performance for Millie Bright. I mean she makes John Stones look like a model of defensive solidity and competence!)
  11. Jiggerycock


    He was easily lead
  12. .....and giving him the new identity of 'Shamima Begum'
  13. My best fesitval experience was hurling bottles of piss at The Tygers of Pan Tang (Reading, c.1984 - trust me, they deserved it!) Fair enough, if, like most of us, you have to take it from 'The Man' (not in a Punkers way) 50-odd weeks of the year, then I suppose sitting in a field, ripped to the tits on whatever you choose whilst watching a few dots on a stage half-a-mile away is some kind of antidote but like our friend says, these cunts do shite on about it endlessly. Personally, if I'm not right up in the lead singer's grill, sweating like a sumo, in a shitty little club somewhere, whilst some whippet-thin plank-spankers crank out some righteous rock n' roll at Spinal Tap eleven, then it's not really cutting it for me.
  14. Here we have a two-times Olympics bronze medalist in a minority sport. Lionised from his teenage years, in horse-racing parlance he hasn't really 'trained on' and to extend the metaphor, in any other sport he'd be staring at the knackers yard. Fair play to the lad though, for a bang average sportsman, he's certainly ridden the 'gay angle' (and his legion of uncritical brick-thick social media followers) for every last cent.
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