Jiggerycock

Never mind all that - (What) Sam Matterface (hey, godda no respect, hey!) delivered the biggest pile of shite since the ringmaster spiked Dumbo with Exlax. One minute he was all Henry V and Shakespearian, the next it was telling us all how we all felt, the next it was an aircraft journey with turbulence we were all on. ITV were a bloody shambles last night.

Yeah - it wasn't all wall-to-wall shelling, starvation rations and 'no sleep 'til Hammersmith' when Malta was awarded the George Cross for standing firm against the Nazi's in WW2. I imagine they had no end of laughs in the Bajtra shabeens, watching the smuggled George Raft movies

I mean if it was about faux-working-class wannabee geezah Keith Allen fronting ANYTHING to do with football then they'd have a point.

It had to happen didn't it? Now that this monolith to inefficiency, criminality and poor clinical outcomes has been raised to the level of our new national deity (it sitteth at the right hand of our Lord God David Attenborough), it's logical to give it the highest award bestowed by the British government “for acts of the greatest heroism or for most conspicuous courage in circumstance of extreme danger”. I think the George Cross would perhaps be better awarded to those who gave their lives (e.g. the actual cancer patients whose treatment was delayed and the thousands of suicides caused by us locking down) so that the NHS was protected. No one will I guess be banging a pan on a Thursday night for those souls. Still - easier to make a mockery of an award for genuine sacrifice (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dudley_Mason) than give frontline workers a meaningful pay rise.

If I wanted to read what sounds like the deranged witterings from a teenage girl's diary I'd start with the lyrics of 'Imagine'

Fabulous result last night - the adventure continues. And you know what makes this England journey so much more enjoyable - it's the knowledge that our Scottish, Welsh and Irish brothers and sisters are with us every step of the way, cheering us on and rejoicing in our British commonality. OK, their journeys may be over but their hopes live on with England - take comfort guys, the English lads will do everything they can to make us ALL proud.

One game where superannuated thug Graeme Souness thought he was man of the match, despite the evidence of everyone else's eyes, and the cunt is now lauded as the bastard love child of Franz Beckenbauer and Glenn Hoddle. Here's a wager for you - Gilmour will be the subject of a sub-£10m bid from Fenerbache in 2 seasons time.......either them or Malmo

......or the next in the 'LBGTQ' alphabetti spaghetti?

Never thought that I would be wishing for early England injuries so that better players could come onto the pitch. There's something I find quite dark and sociopathic about Southgate. Perhaps this is his payback for his 96 treatment. Condemning us to another dour nail biting 70 minutes of backwards-and-sideways, in the vain hope that Kane might burst into a trot, before bringing Grealish on to go forwards. Basically, two bang-average sides, waiting to see who burst into tears first, with home advantage proving the decider. Unfortunately for Europe, that scenario will be revisited if (The) England get past The Ukraine on Saturday, in the semi-final and, God help us lets get carried away why not, final. Anyway, I've discovered the new meaning of 'To get Mullered' so, hooray for experience

Symptomatic of Labour and politics in general in the UK right now. People will often put up with being ruled by people who cheat them, or lie to them, or who mismanage the country — as recent polls illustrate. But they won’t put up with being ruled by those who openly despise them.

She looks like Martin Keown

One the one hand we've got the effeminate idiocracy so efficiently skewered in the OP On the other we've got a blood-relative of La Spears who makes Machiavelli look a rank amateur. Can't we just wrap the whole grim affair in a lead-lined box and dump it in the Mariana Trench?

Yeah move on.....forget it....worse things happen at sea......another chorus of 'Imagine' everyone. Bunch of fucking government shills!

Windy Miller, Windy Miller - sharper than a thorn Windy Miller, Windy Miller - selling kiddie porn

Country and Western? Hell yeah!! Four of its greatest exponents but when Johnny Cash comes in, this just takes off. His voice is definitely from another, darker place. Works for me

Wannabee by The Spice Girls Apparently the epitome....the motherlode.....the aspirational top trumps is to 'zigahzigahhh'

It's just hilarious watching cancel culture eat itself - there's entropy for you, right there. A night on the tins and a few ribald tweets (you're a cunt for even having a Twitter account BTW) back in 2010? You're toast now mate, in fact, and this is an absolute truth, Gareth Southgate is a big fan of that White Supremacist Winston Churchill and has gone on record saying as much, so why the hell is he still in charge of anything more than his own excretory functions?

Not because 'she's a woman in a man's world', since all football commentators are at best disposable and at worst, machine-gunable. No, it's her accent, which makes what she's actually crapping on about unlistenable. Basically, it's so bucolic it makes The Wurzels sound like Brian Sewell, the listener trying to get past her mangled vowels, to find out whether it's a corner, a birdie, a drop goal or the one after Bechers Brook she's describing. The BBC seem to go in for this kind of strafed dialect in its reporters. I'm thinking that mid-Atlantic drawl of Lyce Doucett, in fact when Brendan Rogers packs up managing Leicester City, I'm pretty sure there's a job there for him based on his unfathomable burr alone.

Fucking hell, Gareth Chilcott's gone even further downhill now hasn't he?

To quote another black guy that got a shoeing of LA's finest 'Can't we all just get along?' Antifa go at Winston Churchill's statue. Knuckle-draggers act the maggot about George Floyd's. We've got to boycott any brand that the laughably-named 'Hope Not Hate' umm, hates, often on the flimsiest of pretexts, but now we are being implored to buy those brands in an anti-anti-racist gesture of solidarity, whilst booing (or cheering) the England Football Team. Back in the day, you had to kill Blair Peach to be a certified neo-Nazi. Now it's if you whistle the national anthem.

Southgate knows he's driven this one right down a cul-de-sac, with no feasible endgame ('The FA declares the war on racism has been won, therefore England players will no longer kneel down before games'. I don't bloody, flipping-well think so!). Therefore the only reverse-ferret possible is to make the gesture so perfunctory as for it to be negligible, in fact it'll be a curtsey when we play the Czechs on Tuesday - about right for the bunch of girls we've got representing us.

Saxon did a metal version of 'Ride Like The Wind' - which was okay but the video was shit

This is all balls!! No nips! No clits and piss-flaps!! No cucumbers and money shots!! It's the fucking lies I can't stand!

I was at Ascot yesterday and undertook my piss-poorest day of punting ever. Three bets and I think they beat a combined total of five other horses home. I just wish I could have been as prescient as the above - always the bloody same when there's money riding on it.

This.....this.....this..... pint-sized fucker has been getting on my tits since forever - well, specifically, 1992 when he cried like the baby Jesus on the winners podium, after steering the Searle brothers in the GB coxed pair to Olympic Gold in Barcelona. Not content with acting like a prize petunia on one of the biggest of international stages, he continues to steal a living by phoning in the same commentary for every rowing race, using a random phrase generator, viz "Get out from the start quickly....dictate the pace of the race.....settle through the middle one thousand metres....taking the stroke rate up....25 strokes left....one last effort" I'm amazed James Cracknell doesn't twat him into the middle of the next Olympiad. Oh and as for calling us 'Grayd Briddun', I mean WT actual F? You sound like a superannuated DJ on Local Radio Gold, who thinks music ended with 'Radar Love'