Jiggerycock

Hard to say who are in the biggest state of denial, the Labour Party or Scottish Football fans.

There are two Physicists amongst them - probably want to decolonise gravity. Maybe they should replace the Rhodes statue with one of Ronald McDonald. After all when the students have cancelled all history and any chance of actually learning anything, Ronald will be their future employer.

The twin that slid down Arlene Fosters' mum's leg, was thrown out with some amniotic fluid but grew to maturity in a sewer, looked after bt a retinue of rats and faecal matter, swering vengeance on a world that had so severely wronged it.

"A man who is tired of London..........probably understands the gravity of the problem"

'He is so mauve' I fail to see what quoting Withnail and I brings to the debate?

A point which I’ve yet to see mentioned is that the idea of 'progressivism' is almost entirely a Western construct. How progressive is the great majority of the global population in relation to the Western, liberal population? If the progressives among us were sincere they would be pushing their agendas within non-progressive populations where the greatest gains are to be made, instead of trying to maximise the margins in a market already saturated with progressivism. That would be too dangerous for them. Easier to pretend, in the West, where you are indulged. Non progressive populations are largely non-European in ethnicity. This means that progressives must not judge them by ethnic European standards of behaviour because to do so is oppressive and racist. What a crock of shit!

If only! The bit about Trade Unions was an example of the sort of shit you might reasonably expect him to come out with, but the rest of it......! He's also got a thing about Vitrulan - he fucking loves the stuff. Spends an eternity putting up one sheet, like it was the Mona Lisa he was hanging and our gaff was The Louvre. He's going today, one way or another.......

This cunt is more likely to walk in clutching a signed photo of Denis Compton and a tin of Brylcreem

We've got a builder in at the moment, and, cutting to the chase, he's definitely been dropped in from some Enid Blyton novel. "If either you or your good lady wife could leave access to the vestibule, well that would be tickertyboo" I fucking shit ye not. Cunt goes off to Wickes to buy a Tamping Wopple or whatever, comes back and as agreed, cross charges us for the purchase "...and that'll be twelve pounds and sixty-six of your new pence.......Thanking You......and I'll be back in at five and twenty past one to afix this to the joist" I feel like I've slipped through a crack in the space : time continuum talking to this cretin. "Trades Unions! Fancy name for loafers, says I! Perishers and scallywags the lot of 'em! Doubtless send their scullerymaids to the new world for a termination, saints preserve us" He's a total fucking jerkoff.

Ryanair is an Irish airline, so this falls within the remit of the EU I have it on good authority that they has set up a war room (built by non-cisgender plasterers, of course) to deal with this matter. Already the orders have been given for croissants and coffee, restaurants booked for lunch and funds allocated for emergency procurement of broomsticks. As soon as the issue re coffee with or without cream has been settled, expect a strongly-worded letter of complaint......possibly even to Lukashenko

Here was I thinking that Yoko Ono was the most manipulative female of our generation, and along came Meghan Markle. At least Lennon could write a song (I’d be surprised if Harry could write his own name). However Meghan is 'yoko-ing' off Harry, and Harry is 'yoko-ing' off his dead mother, as Yoko did when John died. So the couple are, in fact, a 'double yok-er'.

...that 'sort of music' epitomised by their 1991 LP 'Laughing Stock' which I think was their finest body of work

Interesting stuff (seriously for once) My niece is a waif of a thing but was done for being a gnats chuff of an ounce over her baggage allowance on this one flight she was taking. Naturally, she divvied up (I mean, what choice do you have at that point?) She gets on the flight only to be confronted with the scenario outlined previously, i.e. Barbapapa next to her, pseudopodia flopping all over her side of the armrest and already chowing down on the donuts they've bought on board to stave off the hunger pangs in the one hour hop to Zurich they were undertaking. Can't these airlines introduce a Corpulence Tax? I mean you've got to put your cabin baggage into a casket to see if it's the correct size? Why can't they have some kind of Iron Maiden-type device folks have to strap into to see if they're too fucking porky to fit into a seat / affect the aerodynamics of the plane? And if they are, they pay up .....or have immediate liposuction, without anaesthetic or post-operative care, to get them down to a weight slightly less than a baby elephant?

I know - yet you go a fucking micron over EasyJet's weight allowance for suitcases and they slap you with charges only Jeff Bezos can afford! Where's the justice in that ("Easyjet - you wouldn't get into my golf club" Save you the bother Punkers, assuming you're not in the cooler this week)

Yes!! They can hardly reach around their sweaty mass of adipose tissue to be able to pull / push themselves off now are they? Don't think the OP has thought this one through Answer! Answer!!

Hit the fuckers first - ask questions later! After all 'see the person, not the disability'. Hitler with a lower leg amputation would still have been Hitler. Total wimp out in your last paragraph by the way. Grow a pair man, for fucks sake!

With Oxbridge grads unable to get a job in Tesco's nowadays, I reckon it's only a matter of months before a sparkie and his pals turn up clutching copies of Jude The Obscure, whistling a note perfect version of 'The Internationale' whilst discussing Germen Flottenpolitik in the late 19th Century. Cunts'll down tools in an instant if they don't get Lapsang Souchang and all the smashed avocado on focaccia they can stuff down their gobs.

Well, he's only gone and Pootered into the top job in the political wing of Evangelical Protestantism! He really is a tin-foil hat merchant. Luckily, he’ll gaffe himself out of the job by Christmas, otherwise, the DUP will join Labour and we’ll be writing obituaries for both parties.

Yes! Never forget Comfrey Leaves, which are, paradoxically, also the fig leaves these cretins use to cover their pathetic points of view

Yes, let's all laugh at the Indians, who at least might have poverty, low educational attainment and the usual negative influence of religion (see also Israel / Gaza) as excuses. Meanwhile, Trish on Mumsnet isn't getting Jocasta and Mmm-Denone vaccinated against MMR as it causes autism and 'sides, she knows this 'rilly 'tastic' homeopath who says echinacea cream and chutzpah works just as well.

It's also been mooted we're given a 'Thank You' day as another bank holiday. Yeah, thank you (to who exactly?) for doing their job. The commoditisation of work and altruism - cheap gestures for the easily bought.

Please delete if this oversteps the mark but whiplash might be a secondary injury, after permanent reduction of gag reflex, in the event of a car accident where an erect penis is stuck down the throat of a young girl

It makes me think......why can't we have a great big fuck Off outbreak of foot-and-mouth disease again. Lay waste to every fucking empty-headed sheep in the land!

It's either little girls clitorises or their heads that they want to remove

I have - and it turned around in disgust and shot straight back up the old chap, a look of disgust on the spermatozoas' wriggly little faces (don't ask how I know. I just do 'k?)