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Alfie Noakes

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About Alfie Noakes

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  • Birthday 03/01/1966

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  • Gender
  • Location
    - Wessex Coast
  • Interests
    Staying one step ahead of political correctness

Recent Profile Visitors

9,654 profile views
  1. More Transgender cunt bollocks

    It is the use of condoms that helps stop the spread of disease, something the flaccid pontiffs were against for so long. Disease, over population and extortion, that is the catholic way, the world has a right to know how much they keep compared to give away. The mafia learned their tricks from their own fucking priests. I am viral lode free, whereas your blood is wanted by the West African Sexually Transmitted Disease Studies Institute, as they say you should have died years ago, as your resistance to all Lagos can throw at you is legendary in Nigeria.
  2. Good final lines to a novel

    Unfortunately the last pages were unreadable as they were glued together, so Niel put down his copy of Fifty Shades of Grey, put his wanking sock back in the bedside table drawer, turned off the light and went to sleep.
  3. More Transgender cunt bollocks

    U.S. finds evidence of child pornography involving Vatican diplomat in D.C., Vatican says - The Washington Post https://www.washingtonpost.com › news https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_Church_sex_abuse_cases_by_country&ved=0ahUKEwjpgreMgYDXAhWJPxoKHbZiAKcQFgg7MAc&usg=AOvVaw1p-5IeK2haNZ5vW2PFDitL Makes horrific reading, sorry but the worst of all the institutions, the Vatican bank, takes money from poor people all round the world to pay for all the pomposity and grandiose luxury that encompasses it, yet if you ask how much money they have it is a vatican state secret.
  4. When the punishment does not fit the crime

    I don't get the logic of hanging the paper so it is hard to reach and resting against a potentially damp wall. I want to break their stupid fingers and smash their wrists.
  5. When the punishment does not fit the crime

    That toilet paper thing fucking turns my spit. Utter fucking cunts.
  6. Shitty Computers

    Take it to PC world Mr Gadd.
  7. Good final lines to a novel

    The end.
  8. Happens to punkape regularly at the darkest of his regular dogging sites.
  9. The all new insult the impaired thread

    Was it a fish supper? Haddock pasty or bearded clam chowder?
  10. That is not a goose. It is a juvenile gull, its parents at this stage have moved on and it hasn't got the hang of fending for itself.
  11. Cunts whose front doors open outwards

    No problem, it is from old cockney slang, so it shows up the age of a lot of the admin team.
  12. Crassulaceae

    In my garden slugs destroy my sedums. Now Pen this is CC not the BBC, put your glasses on and look in the Radio Times for Gardeners Question time or get one of the nice staff to show you how BBC iPlayer works and let that lovely young man Monty Don show you his talents.
  13. Being afraid to fart

    Bad food, drink and drugs choice last night, just woke up, farted in bed and followed through, now the cat has run away and I need a new mattress and sheets.
  14. Gretchen Rubin

    Self improvement and lifestyle books are for fucktard wannabes who cannot chose things for themselves. I remember hearing that there was a self help, get rich book that basically told you the way the author had made his supposed fortune, guess what his idea was to make this money. He told them how he wrote the book and set up the lecture tour to speak about it.
  15. Cunts whose front doors open outwards

    Definition of "iron" (not the metal element or clothes crease reducing device) - Arsenal, Crystal Palace, Millwall, Manchester Utd or Liverpool supporters, cockney rhyming bollocks for iron hoof (poof), frank, punkape.