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Decimus

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Everything posted by Decimus

  1. Decimus

    48 Hours Of Cunts

    Despite the fact that you are undoubtedly intellectually-subnormal, this was a decent attempt at a rookie nomination. Don't take Drew's criticism to heart. Most people on here won't care that you are about as illiterate as the bastard love child of Harvey Price and Rin Tin Tin. But that's because most people on here are stupid fucking cunts.
  2. Decimus

    Menstruating Trannies

    In this brave new world where having a pendulous set of humongous bollocks doesn't stop you from calling yourself Martha instead of Arthur and having sit down pisses in female toilets, I thought I had seen it all. Enter Brighton and Hove City council, a vipers nest full of "progressive" freaks, whale-watchers and cock-sucking faggot deviants. Said council has issued advice to schools within the district that teachers should be encouraged to tell their classes that boys, men and non-binary genders can have periods as well as girls and women. Going even further, bins for menstruation products will also be provided in male toilets. I don't know what they put in the water in Brighton, other than semen of course, but they have quite clearly lost the fucking plot. You can shove a bloke into a high heels, let him into female-only spaces and allow him to walk down the aisle in a dress in order to marry some other fucking pervert. But he will never have a period or give birth despite the fantasy life he is allowed to live by society because... HE IS A FUCKING MAN. I know plenty of five year olds who'd like to be a dog or a cat, but you wouldn't replace toilets in infant schools with lamp posts and litter boxes. This endless pandering to a degenerate minority has got to stop.
  3. Decimus

    Menstruating Trannies

    He fucking better not be, he told me he was on the pill.
  4. Decimus

    Unfunny fuckers

    They all look the same to me.
  5. Decimus

    Unfunny fuckers

    Band of Gold Cathy Tyson, I'm a sucker for a grubby Black in fishnets.
  6. Decimus

    Unfunny fuckers

    I'm sat in my mistress's PCH Ford Focus car at Sheringham Tescos. She's gone in to buy me southern fried chicken mini fillets and sweet potato fries, plus a mini bottle of own brand sauvignon blanc. I won't go in with her partly because I can't risk being seen by anyone, but mainly because she looks a bit like Cathy Tyson and I refuse to be seen in public with it.
  7. Decimus

    Unfunny fuckers

    Withers included me in a snivelling PM to Roops and Proper asking for his account to be deleted after his libellous post about my wife was deleted. What do you think about that?
  8. Decimus

    Unfunny fuckers

    "I got 99 problems but my like-to-post ratio ain't one"
  9. Decimus

    Menstruating Trannies

    I imagine that the sodium content in your traditional Caledonian diet would render you dead within minutes.
  10. Decimus

    Menstruating Trannies

    How does it feel to be a trend setter? You were doing the whole deviant tranny act 60 years before it became fashionable. Now it's socially acceptable for men to have fantasy periods, I intend to recreate Roops's iconic photo this afternoon by mounting my desk and shoving a lil-let up my arsehole.
  11. Decimus

    Unfunny fuckers

    The irony of you appearing on a thread titled 'Unfunny Fuckers' is certainly not lost on me. Now all we need is for Withers to turn up and bang on incessantly about beans whilst Frank posts another video of himself looking like a complete cunt in a pair of £500 slippers.
  12. Decimus

    Unfunny fuckers

    Whilst I agree that any reality TV spastic that laughs maniacally at their own '70's time warp humour (I'm looking at every disgusting fat slob on Gogglebox) needs an immediate shivving in the throat, it's the cry-baby sob story peddlars that are the real villains of the piece. The sort of cunt so desperate to win that they immediately begin an hour long dirge about how their child has got leukaemia and immediately wheel the half-dead little cunt out onto a stage, drip and all, to be gawped at by a garrulous mob of brain dead fucking simpletons. To top it all off, the viewer then has to contend with a generic format of Ant/Dec/Schofield/token black staring mournfully at the camera like a puppy that's been caught shitting on the kitchen floor.
  13. Decimus

    Lord of the Cunts

    Fucking hell, I opened the Corner and saw something from Wolfie that had me laughing harder than I have done in a very long time on here. I sign in to give it a well deserved like and it was gone! I particularly liked the end insult and plan on inserting it into numerous pieces of correspondence in the future.
  14. Decimus

    Street 'Performers'

    It hasn't changed.
  15. Decimus

    Lord of the Cunts

    Your PMs to him would suggest otherwise.
  16. Decimus

    Lord of the Cunts

    The blackest pot in the history of tea making.
  17. Decimus

    Lord of the Cunts

    It would certainly explain why I've hated every single thing that has been posted by a newbie for the past six months.
  18. Decimus

    Lord of the Cunts

    The fact that he had the brass to freely admit that he came from Luton indicates that we're either dealing with someone who is severely mentally ill or a complete spastic incapable of spelling London. Either way, his account should be deleted just to be on the safe side.
  19. As I doubt that you've ever left the fetid pit that is your games station lair, I doubt you'll ever have to worry about your stupid, fat fucking face being booted by a demented slope.
  20. Decimus

    Pretending to be delighted at shite Christmas gifts

    I can imagine the look on her face when after weeks of starving on the streets, you offered up a morsel that wouldn't even be a mouthful for a premature kitten afflicted with prognathism. On the other hand, at least it smelled like her usual dish of choice, dog shit.
  21. Decimus

    Are All Spazzers Cunts?

    I think that the Mr.Tickle armed zombie cunt is well and truly finished this time. No videos in months, and the last couple he produced were fucking diabolical. Dom Joly did the whole screaming random words in the face of bewildered French tourists act 20 years ago, and it wasn't funny then either.
  22. Decimus

    Are All Spazzers Cunts?

    Proper, what the fuck is going on with the recent influx of moon-touched fucking idiots? I can imagine you now, prowling mental health wards in the dead of night, complete silence reigns other than the static crackles from your auxiliary nurse uniform as it rubs against your distended, hairy paunch. Like some sort of bed-pan emptying tooth fairy, you sneak bits of paper with Corner IDs and passwords under the pillows of the most mentally retarded patients, disappearing into the misty night with a two inch chubby and a smile on your fat fucking face.
  23. Decimus

    PETA

    Of course I was. I went on Frank's boat, dined with Punkape's finest golden cutlery, and fucked 50 of Ding's cast offs. You naive old cunt. The fact still remains that it's been a week and you're not on the leaderboard and a deal is a deal. Pack your shit up and fuck off.
  24. Decimus

    PETA

    It's a sad state of affairs for the integrity of this site when fully grown men can freely talk about wrestling without being absolutely fucking destroyed. We're in the end times.
  25. Decimus

    Welsh Theatre Awards

    I wasn't aware that Wales was cultured enough to warrant having its own theatre awards. Apparently though, there is indeed a market for plays without vowels in their scripts and where audience participation involves the front five rows of the audience being showered in globules of the actors spit. Anyway, this shit has been cancelled due to the furore surrounding one of the shortlisted plays, which contains white actors playing black roles. Apparently, it's OK to have a load of shines on TV wandering around mediaeval England and playing Little John in Robin Hood adaptations, as this falls under the umbrella of "colour blind casting". But cast a white man as Othello or Huggy Bear and all of a sudden the Twittersphere is up in arms and screaming "Racism". If Idris Elba is cast as the next James Bond, I expect the Baftas to be similarly cancelled due to the outrage of some right-on faggot film critic. Except it won't be.
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