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Everything posted by Decimus

  1. It's clear that you have got neither family or friends, otherwise you wouldn't have made 80 posts this bank holiday weekend. You truly are a sad, pathetic excuse of a human being. I'd pity you if you weren't such a fucking cunt.
  2. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/apr/19/church-group-to-hold-washington-event-despite-fda-warnings-against-miracle-cure?espv=1 A religion I can get behind. Lol Fuck off
  3. He did, until one June day in 1982. Little Eric answered a knock at his door and was confronted with a peculiar sight. Stood before him was a disheveled man in arseless chaps wearing a bowler hat with a Casio watch hanging on a chain from a heavily spunk stained waistcoat. Eric wasn't sure what the man said, due to the fact that he was a dirty northern fucking bastard. Nonetheless, the shit dripping down his leg led little E to believe that he must want to use the facilities. Being a conscientious little cunt, Eric allowed him into his house. Ten minutes later after issuing a string of terrifying sexually enraged howls from upstairs, the gentleman reappeared, doffed his cap, and minced out of the door. And that's how Punkape got his first ever hamster up his arsehole.
  4. Why can't she be like other normal south Africans and shoot the little cunts.
  5. I'm not surprised. You were born with sideburns and a nine inch dick.
  6. Spot on! I wasn't aware of it until a few years ago when clips of it were on some talking head programme about the 80s. Fucking brilliant, they don't make 'em like that anymore. Nowadays you have to make do with James Corden never moving his fat fucking face away from the Autocue.
  7. The worst double act since Fleetwood and Fox. Fuck right off you pair of unbearable wankers.
  8. That's as bad an attempt to pass the buck as a German refusing to apologise for the actions of his country during the war because he "didn't know that the Jews were being gassed."
  9. It's pretty decent to be fair, as long as you don't end up there when it's full of wankers from NCFC on a jolly.
  10. They were already selling that at £4.50 a pint seven years ago here, I'd hate to think what they're charging now. Still, anything is better than Carling regardless of the price.
  11. I hate to find myself agreeing with you, but here we are. I used to love The Kings Head a few years ago. Great location on the broad, cheap and easy food that was nonetheless perfectly cooked and did the trick. I was shocked when I visited last month. Despite Wroxham being quite well heeled in general, the place was packed full of utter fucking scum. Mostly late middle aged couples, the women being pissed, mouthy and uniformally dressed in sequins, whilst the blokes were all to a man dressed in cheap off the peg suits. I originally thought it was a coach party from Yarmouth, but upon making a few enquiries, it appears that the clientele these days are almost exclusively of that ilk. The food was fucking dog shit as well.
  12. I don't know. Make me laugh, you feckless wanker.
  13. A man's entitled to a few reach arounds if he's willing to turn a blind eye to five or six blatant health and safety violations. The LGPS isn't what it was, the job's got to have some perks.
  14. Unfortunately, I could probably give you a comprehensive list of the hostelries in Norwich that cater for cock smoking. I won't though, as I don't want to cast any doubt upon my heterosexuality. Cue Withers with a "hilarious" gay jibe. Withers, fuck off.
  15. I'd expect her to swallow, give me a massage, clean out my shed and cook me a steak fucking dinner for £5.80.
  16. Imagine the disappointment you'd feel if you'd crossed the channel in search of genuine French culture and you ended up staying with the half-breed Withers. Expecting your host to resemble a Green Card era Gerard Depardieu, instead you're confronted with a Benny fucking Hill lookalike on a drip, butchering the lingo with a Godawful Franglish monologue: "Have-ey voo Van cents poor lar leccy meter?" What a stupid fucking Dick Van Dyke cunt.
  17. The kids are out this weekend and Babs is doing a leg of lamb on Sunday. Fancy bringing the MG up the A11 and going two's up on her arsehole? Happy to stand you a few pre-coitus pints in The White Horse to calm your nerves.
  18. Not yours. I imagine that when you finally manage to squeeze a squirt out of your withered bell end, 95% of it is the remaining prostatic fluid from your cancer ravaged prostate, with the other 5% being the sweetcorn from your house boy's arsehole.
  19. I've never heard of any of these places, Drew. Have you time travelled here from Norwich circa 1974?
  20. It may not be a lot in whatever gay bar you frequent in Soho, but outside of the largely homosexual capital, £5.80 for a pint of watery piss is considered robbery.
  21. "Comedian" Arthur Smith went to the UEA. If that isn't reason enough to burn the whole city to the fucking ground, I don't know what is.
  22. I've had numerous arguments with people from work about this place. The rare times I've been in it over the past five years, I've definitely picked up a dangerously bent vibe. Whilst not as overtly queer as The Loft of old, I've got the impression that it's a stealth gay bar that is well and truly in the closet. Certain colleagues assure me that my arsehole isn't at risk in there purely because they've obviously got dated memories of it being an away fans shit house. I'm glad that you've picked up on the vibes as well and that my Gaydar can still be 100% trusted.
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