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Decimus

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Everything posted by Decimus

  1. Decimus

    Russian Flag over Salisbury

    After spending half of the Sunday service ladling your blood tinged spunk out of the christening font, you can hardly blame him for being a bit grouchy.
  2. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    She wouldn't get a fucking sniff unless she dipped her head in a bag of flour, the rag heads up north have more refined tastes than their desert counterparts.
  3. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    Of course. I drank a bottle of vodka and was sick all over my mum's brand new cream carpet, and I don't regret it to this day, it was fucking hilarious, as was the way she completely lost her shit. That's a bit different to flying half way across the world and joining a terrorist organisation that beheads anyone who doesn't believe in their twisted doctrine. I was never that much of a rascal. Fuck her, let her rot.
  4. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    Someone's knockin' at the door. Somebody's ringing the bell. Lol.
  5. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    You can fucking have him, the big nosed, duel losing cunt.
  6. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    ...Probably the biggest cunt ever born.
  7. Decimus

    BREXIT Part XI

    And then the ghost of Nelson will rise up and smite the whole bally lot of 'em, whilst angels sing 'Land of Hope and Glory'. Deluded fucking idiot.
  8. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    Cliff's guaranteed to be the one on the far right, perfectly positioned as ever.
  9. Decimus

    Cunts who confuse plus fours with plus twos

    Was it for sharing an identical IP address with Sidney Cooke's prison cell laptop? I'm sure that it was just a total coincidence.
  10. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    All of who?
  11. Decimus

    Shamina Begum

    What's your agenda here, Sebastian?
  12. Decimus

    Martin Lewis

    I absolutely fucking detest this little Louis Spence looking cunt. You can't browse an online news feed, open the paper, or turn on the telly in the morning without this parsimonious prick lisping on about his latest money saving scheme. I dread to think about the amount of business hours lost due to old cunts and idiots ringing and emailing insurance companies, councils, energy firms etc after this little Bonaparte runt has spent the morning screaming at them from Lorraine Kelly's couch to "KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!" Any penny-pinching wanker, who at this cunt's behest, spends five hours on the phone to "Dave" in Mumbai to move onto an energy tariff that's two pence a week cheaper, deserves to be sent back in time to .......
  13. Decimus

    Panorama cunts

    I'm off for a couple of weeks, when I return I don't expect to see Pen here. Deal with it.
  14. Decimus

    Panorama cunts

    Agreed, but this was, as you state, always the position of a minority within the Conservative party and can't be argued as a right wing example of classic Conservatism that Blair aped. Regardless of whether anybody agrees with what Blair did in government, on balance, despite elements of centre-right policies, his administration was largely centre-left. He described himself as being on that side of the political spectrum, and most political commentators without a serious left wing bias have assessed that to be the case.
  15. Decimus

    Trinket collectors

    Thank fucking God.
  16. Decimus

    Trinket collectors

    Ernie bangs the sound and no one's spoken since half-past four.
  17. Decimus

    Trinket collectors

    I assume that he's got some sort of Fritzl operation going on down there, a stud partitioned compartment where he keeps Claudia Lawrence.
  18. Decimus

    Trinket collectors

    Stubby is horrendously bent and doesn't like football. As for the rest, I've no doubt that he owns them, but without the aid of a speculum and a torch, I wouldn't be able to see them lodged seven inches up his arsehole.
  19. Decimus

    Smokers and users of the foul smelling eCig thingies

    You should do the decent thing and move. The last thing any smoker wants whilst puffing away is to have their senses assaulted by the stench of stale piss and musty lavender.
  20. Decimus

    Trinket collectors

    Jubilee tea sets, plastic Japanese cat ornaments, a kitchen full of redundant JML products, a shelf full of quartz rocks and fossils, a giant copy of that fucking awful painting where the dogs are smoking whilst playing cards, and a garden full of trouserless gnomes and ceramic frogs. Welcome to Chez Stubby. Lol Fuck off.
  21. Decimus

    Panorama cunts

    The minimum wage and the ban of fox hunting would never have happened under the previous administration, titbits or not, they were genuine left wing policies. Full gay marriage was legalised under the coalition, but the path to this was started under a Labour government, and full legalisation was a natural process that would have happened under any government due to societal pressure. The initial legislation though, can not by any stretch of the imagination be described as a policy that fits in with a conservative, right wing ideology. None of this fits in with your contention that Blair was Tory-lite. As for the deregulation of the financial markets, plus the introduction of limited privatisation of the health and education systems, this was matched by high public spending, including doubling the governments spend on healthcare in real terms between 1997-2010. Any true blue conservative would have adapted the former, but not bothered with increased state spending, which is after all, total anethema to classic conservative thinking. As for his dealings with the EU being an inspired continuation of Conservative policies, look at the average Tory's opinion on Europe, you're seeing it every day in the news. You can't claim closer integration with the EU is a conservative ideology just because they started the process, it's not, the Euroscepticism inherent in their party makes that pretty clear. The European project by its nature is a left-wing entity, you can't pin conservative sympathies on Blair and state that his endorsement of it was right-wing in nature. Again, I'm not stating that Blair was a genuine socialist, he wasn't. But look at his record, socially his tenure was left wing, and economically it was a mix of both the right and left. That's not like any conservative government I know of prior to 1997.
  22. Decimus

    George Fucking Ezra

    Keen scholars of the Decimus files and a certain phonophobic Scottish polymath will already be aware of my disdain for this anodyne, androgynous alpha-queer. His spunk gargled warble is a constant fixture in Mrs. D's car. Alongside Mumford and Sons and The Lumineers, he forms part of the unholy trinity of soporific shit that has so far sadly failed to send her to sleep whilst doing 60 on the A47 Now I've suffered the further indignity of having to disown my own father upon walking into his kitchen and finding him jauntily whistling 'Budapest'. Despite a thin veneer of masculinity being maintained by his greeting of "Alright, you cunt?" there's no doubt in my mind that five minutes prior to my entry to the kitchen, he had half the contents of the vegetable drawer shoved up his fucking arse.
  23. Decimus

    Panorama cunts

    He moved it to the the right, but he didn't transform the party into the Conservatives, as others who dislike his policies claim. The party may have shifted along the political axis, but most of its policies could still be described as being Centre-Left. Would you have ever got a minimum wage, gay civil marriages, devolved national assemblies, the banning of fox hunting and a backing of EU expansion under a traditional Conservative style government? Do me a fucking favour, the assumption that he was a closet Tory is laughable.
  24. Decimus

    Panorama cunts

    Rubbish, they rejected the loony left, union obsessed shit of Michael Foot and adopted The Third Way. Only left wing dinosaurs equated this with a form of conservatism, it was nothing of the sort. Cameron knew this, and won two elections by aping it, whilst Labour have progressively regressed and become a laughing stock.
  25. Decimus

    Panorama cunts

    Are they fuck, they're more left wing than they have been since the early 80s. They took and held the centre ground in the 90s and won three elections on the bounce. With this fucking nutter at the helm, they'd be lucky to win a game of monopoly, let alone a general election. The Labour party, in its current form, is completely unelectable.
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