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Decimus

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Everything posted by Decimus

  1. Decimus

    TSB bank

    Stubby, I'd like to think that over the past year we have worked well together in cultivating my ninth favourite personal rivalry since joining. However, it goes without saying that as soon as I get the merest sniff of Ding, you'll be dumped harder than Presley's last ever shit. Get fucked.
  2. Decimus

    TSB bank

    Let's be fair, when compared to Boaby, he's a veritable breath of fresh air, although that air is as fetid as the contents of Drew's geriatric nappy when compared to anyone with an IQ over 12.
  3. Not as many times as I've heard that joke, you fucking cunt.
  4. Indeed, if you live in a rush-floored hovel, I can easily see why a room that has anything beyond an inch of animal dung to stand on would provoke such a feeling of wonderment. Sean is the only person since the 1950's who gets excited over linoleum. I can imagine him down his local working men's club, inbetween moaning about the closure of the pits, declaring to his mates " 'Appen I saw a glimpse o'the 26th century in Norfolk, they walk in their 'ose on floors you could only dream of. Lino, it's the future, I tell thee."
  5. I imagine that the bewilderment and incredulity was entirely on your part. From the moment you ordered your first pint and bellowed "OW BLOODY MUCH?!" when faced with a £3.00 bill, to when you stared slackjawed at women folk going about their daily business without sporting black eyes or broken noses.
  6. I've got a suggestion:
  7. I don't do well with folk from Yorkshire. Fuck off.
  8. Being a disgusting fucking pig is the thing I find least offensive about her. Listening to her ramble on about Ramses the Great in her godfuckingawful Barnsley accent has all the gravitas of a northern pub bore in Wakefield banging on about how he misses the pre-decimal monetary system. She might have a doctorate from the university of Manchester, but I wager it was honorary in recognition of holding the record for "Most Ferrets Down Her Trousers 1987".
  9. I really can't be fucking arsed to trawl through yet another one of Panzy's surprisingly successful attempts to wind up the site's great and the good. Can someone please summarise the content of this thread by giving me a count of how many times he has typed out "Panzerknacker". If it's more than once, I suggest that this nom be completely expunged from the Corner's history books along with everything else he's fucking posted since 2017.
  10. Isn't it about time that you squeezed your atrophied little Toulouse Lautrec legs into a pair of incredibly tight childrens trousers and gave us another video? Worm.
  11. Decimus

    Carbonated Water

    You'd need a skull as thick as a Pachycephalosaurus if you wanted to avoid being knocked out by Gyppo's pendulous cock and balls.
  12. Decimus

    Carbonated Water

    Consider yourself suitably ironed.
  13. Ressurecting twenty or so dead nominations about queers, faggots and poofs. Imagine if you will, a 'Graham Norton Show' montage on the TV and you can't find the remote to stop the agony as it's shoved twelve inches up your arsehole. That was the level of sheer homsexual terror induced by his tompoofery.
  14. Unfortunately, I live relatively close to the festering anal sore that is the ridiculously named "Great" Yarmouth. For completely unfathomable reasons known only to readers of The Daily Express, July and August sees the place awash with absolute fucking scum who make the locals appear like well adjusted, affluent members of society. I'm getting a first hand experience of this terrifying phenomena whilst on a train home after a quick trip into Norwich, and it is absolutely packed full of these time-warp pieces of shit. Despite the fact that no sane person has holidayed in GY since the 1970's and the advent of cheap foreign package holidays, swarms of these cunts are almost hanging out the windows, desperately clutching hold of handfuls of Sun Holiday 50p vouchers. All the usual suspects are here, pearly kings and queens straight off the London train, fucking stinking of poverty, shoulder-to-shoulder with their northern compatriots who are for the most part tattooed apes decked out in Doncaster Rovers t-shirts. If I had my choice, anyone too poor to even afford a weekend away in one of Withers' goose shit infested gites, would be summarily executed and buried with a fistful of Yarmouth rock shoved up their arse.
  15. I'd say that this nom could be the start of The Corner's very own DSMO style Mary Beard moment. However, I doubt that this pit-digging northern fucking pig has the intelligence to engage in any sort of litigious nonsense.
  16. For want of anything better to do and bored to fucking tears with The Corner indulging in one of its periodic navel-gazing Punkape phases, I've put on a documentary about Ancient Egypt. G&T in hand, I sat down ready to be soothed by the stentorian tones of some bellowing fucking toff condescending to entertain and inform the filthy masses. Imagine my absolute fucking consternation when the voiceover broke over the vista of the pyramids and it was some fucking cunt who sounded exactly like Vera Duckworth attempting to stumble through a read through of Carry on Cleo. I soon realised that all was lost when the she-northerner eventually revealed itself to be some sort of Ronald McDonald inspired, wild haired fucking dog. It was the BBC of course.
  17. Apparently, there's absolutely no truth that the media and the western political system are disproportionately influenced by a tiny cabal of Jews, and to suggest so is antisemitic. This story quite clearly indicates that a tiny cabal of Jews are able to influence one of the largest political parties in Europe by applying a disproportionate amount of pressure upon them. However, to congratulate them on their success and influence would be antisemitic. Instead, I extend to the Jews a heartfelt wish that Israel burns to the fucking ground and that they're all pushed back into the sea.
  18. Regardless of our shared heritage, I imagine that after one pint of Guiness I'll end up sticking a shiv in his throat.
  19. I'll be coming back to the ancestral sod soon, PanzyO'Knacker. Fancy getting together to sing the ballad of Kevin Barry and shoot the shit about Brexit? To be sure.
  20. I imagine that you have all the sartorial subtlety of Elton John. If it's not outrageously flamboyant, pink and doesn't have a wild-west style arse-flap, you're not interested.
  21. I have absolutely no doubt that they love flicking a "male". I'll assume that you're on your iPhone again, hence the typo. Lol.
  22. Indeed. I've only ever come across this phrase whilst reading the Inspector Rebus novels. So either Judge is a sweaty, or he's capable of reading things more substantial than the front page of The Daily Express. He's definitely a kilt-lifting bender.
  23. The biggest question here is that if you despise the thought of having your ringpiece torn in two, what the hell are you doing spending your weekend evenings hanging around well known homosexual hotspots?
  24. Thank fuck we've all been blessed with your razor sharp intellect and deduction skills! For a moment there, I thought I was being too subtle. Idiot.
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