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About nocti

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    Unequivocal Cunt

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  1. You're above this Baws. I'll let it slide as the cunt who shall not be named wasn't in the thumbnail.
  2. Just the one, although whether it was technically intercourse or not I'm unsure of for two reasons. Firstly I was fucking steaming. Secondly, I might not have made it all the way so to speak, as she had more folds on her than a slope's napkin. By the way, I gave your rather romantic post a like, but I did not like it one fucking bit. I actually feel a bit sick now. Cheers Decs.
  3. I agree that she is a cunt, and a fat one at that, but in lieu of Neil's input on the matter, I'll make no apologies for my admittedly worrying desire to blast her in the tradesman's.
  4. Apparently, her audiobook version of The Hungry Caterpillar is 294 hours long. Fair play to her for the Greta joke she did not long ago which got her in a bit of bother, but if you manage to display the patience of a fucking zen monastic to get to one of her punchlines, she's about as funny as cot death anyway.
  5. nocti


    Only on this fucking site could a topic go, in one page, from a nature documentary narrator to bumming in prison.
  6. nocti

    Darts equality

    Fuck me, how many people were tuned in then?
  7. There were also comments raised about how the producer on the programme was white, as were the cameramen, etc. But what the fuck is to be expected? Just insert a dark-looking one in there for the sake of 'diversity'? It's like when I'm whisked into the world of medieval Europe on TV, and all of a sudden some aristocratic fellow walks up, blacker than one of David Blunkett's marmite toasties, and instead of it just washing over me, or even thinking "well, this is absolutely spot-on and accurately diverse", I just get fucking smashed into the fourth wall and taken out of the show altogether because it is so bastard jarring, on account of it being both historically inaccurate and obviously forced. There is a reason that the black character in South Park is called "Token". Same with awards. Do they want one to be handed to a black person just for the sake of it, with that particular person wondering if their music/acting was actually any good, or they're just there to fill a quota? That to me is far more racist to the point of ridicule. I'm glad that social media plays such an insignificant role in my life these days, but for a while it didn't. This idpol and outrage culture seems all the more fucking stupid when viewed from the outside.
  8. Alright, let's not get too fucking carried away here Decs.
  9. nocti

    You Know

    I worry that some of those could have been crispy bits of tissue, Eric.
  10. nocti

    Darts equality

    I had a threesome with her, and I've still never met the other bloke.
  11. Luckily, the local politicians are calling out this cunt for trying to turn the place into a "theme park", and hopping on the diversity bandwagon to push his twattish ideas forward. If his reasons are virtuous enough, and his plight is genuine, he should just dig a sandpit somewhere and throw a few vibrators in it. That would cover some bases for a start. Obviously there should be a ramp leading down to it.
  12. nocti

    Lauren Laverne

    It's with a heavy heart and tainted conscience that I admit to my allegiance with the werthers-hoarding serial omniphile Neil on this one. I too hate the sound of her voice, and find her an inoffensively dull ready-salted cunt of a woman, but I would happily push her shit back in.
  13. I was about to say exactly this. Although I was also going to add that it's a miniscule price to pay if it deters some bullshitting quasi-French fucking wanker from coming over.
  14. If Neil would've done it right there on the street, he would've been admonished for being even more of a fucking weirdo than he's already known for. If anything, he was being rather considerate by tending to his primordial urges in the privacy, and indeed safety, of his very own spaz-chariot.
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