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About nocti

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    Unequivocal Cunt

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  1. I think it should be solely reserved for those who fucking watch it.
  2. Bit harsh Pen, he speaks highly of you.
  3. I still have my fingers crossed that his curiously bass-baritone vocals are due to a rare and untreatable form of throat cancer.
  4. Someone asked him the other day what the "J" stood for in Donald J Trump. He replied "Genius."
  5. Do handjobs tend to go through PAYE, Neil?
  6. nocti

    Being English

    According to the internet, sticking with the theme of the geek cunt thread, England is the galactic empire, and Churchill was Palpatine. We've turned the world and everybody in it to shit, and deserve to be punished perpetually (at least the white heterosexual males do at the moment). Despite the fact that for ages before that, it was invaded more times than David Walliams' arsehole, and was the world's punching bag/petri dish for generations. Oh, and Great Britain/United Kingdom/England are all synonymous apparently. Saying that, social media is now home to a cacophony of voices emanating from the types of people that were previously reduced to ranting shit like this out on the streets/down the pub, much to the tired sighs and replies of "shut the fuck up" from people with at least a hint of common sense. So it's not to be taken even remotely to heart.
  7. I must say, seeing two people being simultaneously ripped apart like big-titted blondes in a zombie film is fucking great entertainment now the new Partridge series has finished. It makes it even better that one is a living caricature of Shrek with the political discernment of a shat nappy, and the other is a games workshop dwelling shag-shy wanker whose own glasses won't sit on his face. As you were...
  8. nocti

    Mary Lou

    I find this O'Fensive. Dumb cunt.
  9. That's actually a fair comment. I felt inspired for a moment, but alas, anything involving that twunt is destined to fail miserably.
  10. Just what the site needs when it's already saturated with piles of the turgid shit... Another Pen thread.
  11. I bet she can't stand having her picture taken.
  12. If this was a social media post, you would become the subject of viral outrage for your blatant prescriptivism (which is of course tantamount to racism), and would be up against the wall before you could say "Justice for Fritzl".
  13. nocti

    Robbie Williams

    On the contrary, the only thing I'd tap my toe to is his death rattle. You silver-tongued lothario.
  14. nocti

    Robbie Williams

    He's not yet been around long enough to leave a huge enough phallic imprint on the same leaderboard of cuntitude that the Robbies and Lennys of this world inhabit. I must admit that his bellendery is extremely potent though, his false sanctimony shining through like Rolf Harris's torch through a playschool window. Give him enough time, and airplay on Absolute Radio that the fucking idiots at the place I'm working at insist on piping in all day, and I'm sure I'll be hunting him down to provide a complimentary tour of his own arsehole, a relaxing acid bath, finished with a sauna in an incinerator with built in belt-sander massager.
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