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About nocti

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  1. nocti


    You're not their real Dad.
  2. nocti


    I'm not saying my ex is a slag, but her rape alarm has a snooze button.
  3. nocti


    Fuck no. Hardly wife material, queefs. Anyway, the cunt's dead.
  4. nocti


    My wife and I had some friends over for a meal last night. She asked me to prepare the table, so I went in and told them all that her cooking is fucking terrible.
  5. nocti

    Rob Beckett

    Another talent-starved wanker from the Micky Flanagan school of hiding the fact that he's as funny as cot death behind his geezer accent. I'd pay good money for the chance to kick the equine cunt's teeth down his throat. As an added bonus it would keep him constipated for at least a month. He probably has to walk through a car wash every morning just to brush the fuckers. What a cunt.
  6. nocti

    Regional Favourites.

    As honoured as I am, I do have a cracking headache Decs. Alas, I have an inkling that I don't really have a say in the matter.
  7. nocti

    Regional Favourites.

    Brannigan's Roast Beef & Mustard are my go-to. But whenever I feel like removing every single water molecule from not just my body, but a whole two mile radius, I'll go for a pack of Salt and Vinegar Discos too.
  8. nocti

    Mark Carney House Price slump fear monger

    Take his cock out of your mouth you brown-nosing cunt!
  9. nocti

    Naa'imur Zakariyah Rahman

    You perfidious little shit, Sticks. I know Luton when i see it.
  10. nocti

    Jenny Eclair

    Whilst I would gladly oblige with carnal relations, if she has done a routine yet which doesn't mention her veganism, or what a cunt any of her ex-boyfriends are, I'm yet to hear it.
  11. nocti

    Tranny Madness

    Whilst I agree with you whole-heartedly Decsworth, what with prisons being adorned with frankly far too luxurious comforts these days, what better deterrent from criminal activity than the threat of being fucked up the arse by a mentally ill cross-dresser?
  12. nocti

    Serena Williams in sexist row

    I wish I was half the man she is.
  13. nocti

    When The Sisterhood Is Ill Served By Feminists...

    Surely with the sub-zero temperatures, the appendages shrink to such an amount that they'd need a decent SLR with a lens to rival the Hubble telescope if they're going to get a shot of anything, giving you enough of a clue and ample time to spin round a lay a nut on the dithering old cunts.
  14. nocti

    When The Sisterhood Is Ill Served By Feminists...

    We could build a website?
  15. nocti

    Any cunt who believes in the sky fairy or any other dieties

    My post suddenly seems like a rather bizarre non-sequitur. Well, more so than usual anyway. Fucking mods. I stand by it regardless, and agree that Curtis would snap it up. It'll be miles better than any of the shit he's churned out since Blackadder.