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  1. There’s nothing more irritating than hearing some pseudo-hippy say Glastonbury ‘changed their life’, and watching Coldplay on the pyramid stage was a ‘transcendental experience’ How fucking shit was your life before ‘glasto’, if lying in a farm resembling the Somme, listening to irrelevant shitty indie bands after a few tokes of shitty soapbar is the peak of it? There’s a Glastonbury Facebook group full of thousands of these idiots, planning morning yoga classes and packing their wellies, novelty camping chairs and Prosecco three months in advance. They’ll wear the wristbands for years to come, and bore everyone with interminable anecdotes about listening to Bob Geldof warbling on stage in some kind of 1969 battle re-enactment. I’ve enjoyed a lot of festivals over the years, and some of my best war stories involve tripping my box off at them, but glasto is a cross section of all society’s cunts all gathered in one place.


    A fucking dreadful response, complete with a glue eater emoji. You always have been, and always will be, a total fucking shitcunt.


    Trust the reclusive, pale neckbeard who sits inside all day playing warhammer to not like dogs. I bet you like drawing pictures of dragons though, you odious little virgin.
  4. I’ve barely posted on here for a year, but I reckon I could crack the all time leaderboard again by August. Do I have your support?
  5. Imagine the sight of Judge coming home after a big night out at Charlton conservative club. So fat and hungry he ends up slumped in the kitchen, licking the yoghurt off the lids of his kids’ petit filous.
  6. I’d rather guide my father into my mother with my bare hands than converse with you.
  7. The boy’s still got it. Do you think it’s time for me to make a triumphant return?
  8. That’s a very unorthodox definition of an incel. I’m not sure I agree with it.
  9. I owe you a like. Most people in Ereptile’s state last night would have sobered up this morning, felt embarrassed, and wound their neck in. But it seems the stupid, sexually suspicious little nerd is back for round 3.
  10. Then put your pecker away and stop beating it to Mr Dorff?
  11. Great reference. But no, just copious amounts of spice.
  12. Do try and keep up Ape. I made this point already. Your membership to the clique is still very much probationary at this stage.
  13. Roops that little cunt just hacked me.
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