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Neil

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Everything posted by Neil

  1. Neil

    Tom Daley advert

    Just seen this for the first time,must have been his agents easiest sell,"well Tom,they want you to do an advert where you say how proud you are of becoming a father and that you love being (one of two) fathers" "What's it advertising?" "Fairy"..........you couldn't fucking make it up. Pair of cunts
  2. If there was a god Joss Stone,Tina Turner,Level 42,UB40,Jamiroqui and any Motown song would have never even been recorded
  3. Neil

    Dogs

    Some soppy cunt who got conned into buying a puppy from a puppy farm up here paid out £5700 in vets fees!!.What the fuck was this cunt thinking? I suppose if you're fucking stupid enough to buy a dog from Gumtree or some other god awful place you're stupid enough to then spend 20 times the amount on keeping the shit machine alive.Fuck dogs and all who own them,smelly flea bitten cunts.
  4. Neil

    VAR

    Funnily enough I walked in from Earlham Rd last saturday morning and encountered 2 of the drugged up fuckers on the walkway over Grapes Hill,'Can you spare any change mate' was uttered both times.................................................................................neither of the cunts answered me,the tight bastards
  5. Neil

    VAR

    What the fuck do women and football have to do with each other?.I believe there is some dyke fest going on somewhere at the moment but I have stayed away from any of it because it is complete fucking bollocks.Until they introduce a womens world cup where the matches are decided by who can bring off the opposition quicker by licking their twats whilst inserting a dildo up their arris I really couldn't give a fuck.Maybe if the games ended in a draw they could have a penalty lick off where the one that squirts furthest wins,now THAT I'd watch.
  6. Neil

    Boris

    Add Norwich in the Premiership,Harry impregnating a darkie and Frank still fucking breathing and i'd never have believed any of it............Oh and salty Piss Flaps still fucking hanging about too.
  7. Thank fuck they're deporting the useless cunt,euro 96 was a fucking travesty,Darren Anderton should never have started.
  8. Neil

    Boris

    She cost me a tenner at Ascot last week,fell at the last
  9. Neil

    Boris

    Hunt will be PM by virtue of the fact that Boris is so fucking shambolic in every way.By the very fact that every single politician is an uber cunt we will always have a cunt in charge,just not a big a cunt as Boris
  10. Neil

    Boris

    What a weasely cunt his neighbour is,I bet Jeremy chucked his muck when he heard this."I thought it was in the public interest " said the cunt as he counted out his filthy lucre from The Guardian.Weapons grade cunt.
  11. Neil

    Bike Wanker!

    Would you like a Boneshaker?
  12. Neil

    Bike Wanker!

    I went out on my new bike today,stick to the lanes I thought,don't want to piss off the drivers.Then I thought 'fuck it' those cunts hold me up during the week.Good job I live in a nice part of the world surrounded by decent people.Very curteous they were,gave plenty of room when passing and altogether a very pleasant ride. And before you ask,no I didn't wear lycra.It would have looked like I had a set of pool balls down my leggings and a pool cue in my pants Fuck off
  13. Neil

    Aldi dykes

    The advert starts with some rug muncher introducing 'my wife Jack',not sure what happens after that because I kicked the cunting screen in.Ive never set foot in an Aldi and never will,dirty fucking cunts.
  14. Apparently having an argument with you girlfriend one morning is the reason you sideswipe a referee and cause him life changing injuries and the need for facial reconstruction surgery.The barrister that deliverd this 'mitigation' is a grade one cunt and the other grade one cunt should have got more than 20 months .I hope Leroy gives him a good old anal stretching while he's locked up.......and the useless cunt had already let 3 goals in!
  15. Sorry about that,I sent my missus in to buy a new pair of kecks.The old ones with Charles and Di on were getting a bit manly.I fucking told her they don't do new for old in Marks
  16. and you cunts pay for it!
  17. Gyps used to go to church regularly but since the scrap price dropped below a quid a kg she's concentrating more on peoples sheds.
  18. Were you born before the war? Send me a telegram and let me know would you.Toodle pip
  19. When my wife died no one came and helped me,took fucking ages on my own with one tiny shovel.....selfish cunts
  20. Osgood,Mckay,Kilkline et al would have ripped his head off and shat down his neck
  21. I know Scholes is a fucking horrible little ginger cunt but Barton is a fucking cunt of the highest order,dirty little scouse thug who stubs out cigars in youth players eyes and fights in the street.A despicable cunt
  22. Is there any chance Donald could build a wall across the Atlantic,not to keep us out but to keep you cunts in.
  23. The thing I don’t get about paedophilia is why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy
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