Me and Mrs Ape recently turned in our David Lloyd gym membership as it was proving too expensive, and have now joined DW fitness instead. I primarily concentrate on cardio exercise, so often use the treadmills and rowing machines for quite long periods. I am, however, using the piece of equipment continually, and there are plenty of other machines for others to use. Anyway, tonight I was running close to a leg press machine, of which there is only one, and witnessed a total cunt in action. He cruised in wearing tracksuit bottoms, a vest top and, for some unknown reason, a woollen hat. He placed his kit next to the leg press and then began some lengthy ritual in preparation for his “workout”. This involved casually putting a few weights on, eating a banana, fucking around with his phone, putting on his earphones, walking around aimlessly and generally not actually using the machine. Then, without warning, he did 10 reps! Way to go! However, he then moved around 3 metres away and started doing some elaborate stretching shit, interspersed with more phone-fucking. A young girl, believing the machine was vacant, began preparing to use it, when Rocky came back over and informed her that he was using it, and she fucked off somewhere else. In the 20-or-so minutes I observed this wanker monopolising this machine, I reckon he actually used if for no more than 5 minutes. Total prick.