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About Ollyboro

  • Rank
    Mahatma Cunt

Contact Methods

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    Peace on earth
  • Yahoo
    Are a cunt
  • Jabber
    The cunt
  • Skype
    To the loo

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    The People Republic
  • Interests
    Kamikaze Cottaging, breast guesstimation, tampon removal, blood donation, arson, Simon Weston appreciation, confessional booth interference, pubic crocheting, amateur dramatics, involuntary euthanasia

Recent Profile Visitors

3,177 profile views
  1. Skiing: The act of delivering dual simultaneous hand-jobs simulating the motions of a cross-country skier. I have no doubt that the above mentioned places won't allow you within 10 miles of a public toilet.
  2. My 2 favourite ever reviews are, a Q magazine review of a New Kids On The Block remix album ( "about as useful and fulfilling as trying to dilute water") and a local newspaper's review of The Man With The Golden Gun. The entire review read: "Christopher Lee has 3 nipples, Roger Moore has one expression". FOFNCII
  3. As a matter of interest, Judy, when do you get your passport back from the authorities?
  4. On the subject of militants, JT, I recently discovered that Wayne Sleep is an ambassador for Prostate Cancer UK. A real eye opener that one.
  5. I once took a woman to see Pavarotti ....in Hyde Park......and you know..the funny thing was, through the entire performance she referred to him as a "Dago". "No, no,no,no" I said, "This fat cunt isn't a dago...this fat cunt's a wop". She went off to powder her nose, or something. I wish I knew her name. She's still got my wallet.
  6. Ollyboro

    Garden Knomes

    It's using a garden gnome as either 1) an escape, or 2) an ironic joke, or 3) an actual friend à la Frank. If you're the type of cunt who has garden gnomes because you think they're naff, but you're being all ironic.....you've still got something that you consider naff polluting your garden, you thick cunt. These people are worse than Frank. Mind you, if Frank could afford a garden gnome, I reckon he'd stay up all night watching Price fucking Drop TV to get one.
  7. All I'm prepared to say to you, at this precise moment in time is, Enhanced DBS Check. I think we both know what I'm getting at. If only you hadn't got to the things that you liked getting at, then perhaps I wouldn't be in a position to taunt you with Enhanced DBS Check. Let's just leave it at that.
  8. And carry a more than the average amount of diseases, I would wager.
  9. Sorry Judy, but you misunderstanding their "Spend A Day On The Poop Deck With A Sailor" campaign, is hardly them ripping you off.
  10. According to the Hanky Code (the method which bowel bashers use to identify one another's sexual interests according to the colour and positioning of the handkerchief on their person) McCrirrick, by wearing either a dark pink, or maybe,or magenta, or purple, or lavender (apologies for my colourblindness#campaign for spastic parking spaces) handkerchief in his top left pocket was heavily into one of the following: 1) Tit torture 2) Navel Worshipping 3) Having his pits sucked 4) Piercing others 5) Drag queens. The large yellow flower he's sporting suggests an unhealthy obsession with water sports. Many people have commented on him being a smelly cunt over the years. I suspect this was due to the 57 varieties of piss he showered in. If we factor in his public school background, it becomes increasingly clear what caused his gaunt appearance and ultimately well deserved death.
  11. My Little Faggot Pony?
  12. Looked like Great Uncle Bulgaria bemoaning his inability to raise an erection. A Newcastle and Coventry fan. They should use his corpse for rams to practice their sexual technique on.
  13. Ollyboro

    Jamie Spencer

    The first flying Kenyan was a gentleman called Kenneth N'Bongo. In 1953 he was captured by the 31st Lancers - during the Mau Mau rising. To keep up morale, the 31st Lancers would fire N'Bongo from their regimental cannon ("Wog Stopper The 1st") into the nearest cesspit. N'Bongo died of Dysentery and a broken neck, but as part of the healing process N'Bongo had the first ever flush public toilet in Nairobi named after him. Tradition has it that anybody firing a cannonball in the N'Bongo Bog is greeted with a cry of "N'Bongo!! N'Bongo!! He shits near the Congo!!", by his fellow toilet users. The N'Bongo Bog is one of many African shitters Spunkers is barred from. The filthy cunt
  14. Judy, Judy, Judy, there's been no air pollution on Teesside since the South's heroine Maggie stuck a Ceased Trading sign on the place. And as for mosques....fuck me, like the temperance societies of the 19th century, I bet Teesside has got more per head of the (Muslim) population than anywhere else. Unlike London's Muslims, ours don't seem to want to blow cunts up. Nor do the women feel the need to wear masks. It must be something to do with the purer air. Come back and lecture me on air quality when there aren't literally tens of thousands of diesel spewing vehicles a day thundering through London. Why do you think Frank's so backwards?
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