Jump to content
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

Ollyboro

Members
  • Content Count

    1,137
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

935 Excellent

About Ollyboro

  • Rank
    Mahatma Cunt

Contact Methods

  • AIM
    Peace on earth
  • Yahoo
    Are a cunt
  • Jabber
    The cunt
  • Skype
    To the loo

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    The People Republic
  • Interests
    Kamikaze Cottaging, breast guesstimation, tampon removal, blood donation, arson, Simon Weston appreciation, confessional booth interference, pubic crocheting, amateur dramatics, involuntary euthanasia

Recent Profile Visitors

3,396 profile views
  1. Doesn't explain why this imaginary bloke is hoarding shithouse paper. Unless he's planning to isolate his entire family and spend the whole time masturbating. Not only is shitting yourself not a symptom of IT, do the maths. How many sheets of tummy wipes do you get in the average roll? I'm sure it's 80. Now, I'm a two sheets per wipe type of guy; four wipes per shite, with maybe an extra wipe for under seat splattage. Say 2 shits a day - that means a single roll should last me four days. A twenty four pack should give a nuclear family nearly a week's worth of carefree shitting. So even if Joe Cunt doesn't believe a word the government tells him about stockpiling shit roll, basic maths should tell him that buying hundreds of toilet rolls is fucking ludicrous. These cunts aren't stockpiling toilet rolls because they don't trust the government (as logical as not trusting a demonstrable liar is), but because they're stupendously thick. Carol fucking Vorderman(sp?) could tell them that.
  2. Fair enough, JT, if you don't like that, try this piss weak gag. It follows much the same structure as the car joke, but is much more personal, due to its reliance on actual (dead) people, rather than brands. I've just panic bought the entire back catalogue of Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett and Bing Crosby. I've got Crooners Virus. I'm currently working on a Perry Combover joke. It'll involve chemotherapy. It's a tough ask getting cancer into a joke, although "I say, I say, I say, James Corden's got cancer" usually brings the fucking house down.
  3. I've just bought a new Insignia, 2 Beamers, a Trabant, an Audi and a Toyota Corolla. I've got Car Owners Virus. Fuck reet off.
  4. Generally speaking, mild coughing fits do not make people shit themselves, Judy. I'm not surprised the poor woman crossed the road. She's trying to teach her rainbow nation offspring not to shit themselves, and there you are. Molten shite spilling out the bottom of your side-studded Kappa trackie bottoms and a swarm of bluebottles pitying you. Filthy cunt.
  5. It's a brave man who comes on here and admits to knowing somebody who collects Michael McIntyre live DVDs, Ape. Cunt looks like a Downs Eskimo peering through an ice portaloo glory hole.
  6. Billy Lad, this is your "I Have A Fucking Dream " moment. You could start the revolution off. I'll pledge myself right fucking now* * Providing you provide expenses, obviously.
  7. You try posting whilst masturbating over Parkinson's porn. Clever cunt.
  8. Clip of this cunt. Mincing about Europe with his "Bradshaw", which I naturally assumed to be a double ended butt-plug, but is actually some dead cunt's train timetable. Dressed like a mildly irritated cottager storming about complaining about the signage, all the while blocking out the horror of Dianne Abbott's chimney sweep's brush head. Can't be a coincidence that every train station in Europe has a public toilet.
  9. Clip of this cunt. Mincing about Europe with his "Bradshaw", which I naturally assumed to be a double ended butt-plug, but is actually some dead cunt's train timetable. Dressed like a mildly irritated cottager storming about complaining about the signage, all the while blocking out the horror of Dianne Abbott's chimney sweep's brush head. Can't be a coincidence that every train station in Europe has a public toilet.
  10. Hope Phil's transition from much loved national institution to dirty old poof goes better than Mucky Micky Barrymore's did. I wonder what odds I'd get on a corpse with anal abrasions turning up in Schofield's pool? Mm. I reckon Phil is a receiver, rather than a server, so that would influence the book.
  11. Answers the question :"Who had their fist up Gordon the fucking Gopher?"
  12. I read an interview with Big Bri's daughter the other day. Definitely her father's daughter. The beard was identical. Anyway, she mentioned that, when she was a kid, it was years before she realised that the word "Cunt" was a swear word. Such was the frequency that Blessed used it. Come on then, which one of youse cunts is Brian Blessed? My money's on Pen.
  13. Nah. This cunt holds an altitude world record, has made it to the North Pole, talked judo with Putin, sparred with the Dalai Lamal, delivered a baby and bit through the umbilical cord.....I could go on. A cunt; yes. A cunt of a cunt; no. He was even in The Sweeney.
  14. Ollyboro

    F****t

    You can imagine Corden logging in to answer questions from his adoring public and reading that little lot. Funny that you should mention Moyles, because I discovered how much of a cunt he is in almost exactly the same way that I discovered how much of a cunt JC is - I fantasize about crucifying the cunt. I saw both of them for the first time on Buzzcocks. In Moyles case, I had heard of him, but had no idea what he was like. After about fifteen minutes I knew all I needed to know. As for Corden....I can hand on heart say that I despised the porcine prick within seconds of catching sight of him. I had never heard of him and had no fucking clue what he did, but a couple of seconds of his fake laugh and obvious neediness was more than enough for me to head butt the nearest packet of fucking bacon. I'd like to stick a skewer up his arse, an apple in his gob and hang pasties just out of his reach.
×
×
  • Create New...