Eric Cuntman

I’ve learned that one now. And I’ve outsmarted the doctors who said that the star shaped peg doesn’t fit in the square hole… it does once you’ve chewed it up.

There was a big yellow sign outside my junior school that said: SCHOOL. NO STOPPING. one of the kids added.. ‘drive over children’ with a black marker.

Chris Ryan wouldn’t have fucking ‘got away’ from you would he. BRAVO-TOO-QUEERO

This should bring @Carl Sway out of his cave.

Retrieving a Werther’s Original.

I like the Islamic version of ‘Operation’. All that comes in the box is a kebab knife and a board with a pop-up kneeling infidel sporting a dashed line around his neck.

Tippex out the brown ones too.

Make them have a fight to the death and shoot the winner.

I was hoping it was. Well done, carry on.

Full of Wangkas.

Why do you do this to me?

Did he ‘do something to him’?

‘Narcoleptic’ Jesus fucking Christ. Do you and Harold eat from the same drugs bucket at weekends?

It might make a change from shitting the bed.

Harold’s been eating too much dexamphetamine again. I’m guessing that a friend, relative or fellow inmate at his laughing academy gets prescribed them for being a fat cunt or a narcoleptic, Harold nicks them and binges out when he’s got a handful.

I could see the boredom on Floyd Mayweather Jr’s face as he dutifully carried him around the ring for 20 minutes longer than necessary to give the PPV audience more than the 2 or 3 rounds he needed to win it. (After being retired for two years).

Most of them don’t bother.

I would have kept it if I’d found it.

Saucepants came back with my avatar, calling himself ‘The Real Eric Cuntman’. Totally obsessed to the point he actually wants to be me. He also claimed that I had been somehow responsible for having his music website taken down. You remember? The one called ‘Bangin Tunes’ that he used to chat to teenagers on. The dirty cunt. I thought that Basil Brush could have been you fucking about. But he got shitcanned after about 200 nonce accusations in one weekend. Bubba’s still being a grown up somewhere, Frank’s still a cunt and Withers is still nearly dead. And @Dyslexic cnut got banned.

Do they have chop in Canada?

Just watched it. McGregor is utterly shit. Carpet fitter cunt. Jake Gyllenhall was pretty fucking good though. It wasn’t really a film about a top dog bouncer like the original. It needed a Wade Garrett. It was more of a general purpose action film. Worth watching though.

Last Friday

Jayne Mansfield had lobsters in her arsehole.

Scientific experiment.

She said that she’s post surgery and commencing chemo. I think the lack of jewellery might mean she’s got 3 blue dots tattooed on her belly and a 6 week ticket for radiology as well.