Eric Cuntman

There’s only been one stabbing in Greater London in the last 30 years. When Stephen Lawrence was murdered by every Caucasian in Britain before he had a chance to become an architect or cure cancer. No black people have ever been involved in violent crime and anyone who disagrees is a bigot. Your ‘Stabbing Tour’ will have to be a bus stop in Eltham and that archway in Whitechapel where some feminist peace workers were murdered by a white man.

I hate the presumptive way that they assume how much people eat anyway. And the word ‘servings’ is fucking insipid. I assume they avoid ‘portion’ because of its school playground connotations of ‘one up the cunt’. But you are absolutely right. Even a medium sized bag of crisps (50g) will tell you that you’re supposed to “share” it and divide it into two. 50 grams… less than 2 ounces of potato. Fucking hippie queer cunts. And Uncle Ben’s is shit now as well so they can fuck off wherever they sent that poor old black man.

What’s your take on his actual chronological age then?

I’m going to start calling them Corey & Trevor. @Bubba, get back here. You’ve got fuckdonkeys to supervise.

Nobody here does that though. You’re obsessed with millennials, which is fair enough because they’re fucking vermin… but you’re in a psychological echo chamber of your own making and you see them wherever you look.

How are you, you dilapidated old fart?

Of all the French sailors cocks he’s sucked.

There aren’t any millennials on this site. We’re all 40s, 50s and older. With the exception of RK and Decs who are mid 30s. He seems to think that anyone who disagrees with him is a 25 year old snowflake. Bizarre.

You misspelled ‘typically’.

I might go Jaywick on Friday.

Utter bollocks. You still haven’t sussed this place.

Needed a break.

He’s sarcastically referring to ELC as a big hitting veteran. He posted it just after ELC told you to ship out. Why are you still here you fucking Johnny come lately rookie cunt?

The comedy song title you should have invented in this situation is as follows: ’Sitting On The Cock Of A Gay’ That’s why I’m the best on here ELC.

What’s the grandad thing? Are you cousins?

Bollocks. Shopping mall muzak ear worm.

He is unkillable. But he’s not uncontrollable. Which is why my foot is in his arse right now. If you have a better idea, please get the fuck on with it and stop fucking whining about my methodology.

A perfect example of an ‘H’ getting it completely wrong.

Oh hang on… gazpacho has a sci-fi connection to Red Dwarf. Harold will probably think you’re talking about his family. The thick cunt.

Are you fucking serious? Do you still think that what I said was an attack on your actual mother rather than an addition to a conversation about a fictional language from Star Trek?? You thick fucking cunt. Get the fuck off this website you sensitive little fucking crybaby shitcunt. You make me fucking sick.

Curta cunt. Lol lol

“Beloved Cunt!!”

Of course. And the boiling point of DOT4 brake fluid once a year. I love all that shit. I’ve got an OBD2 scanner too. It switches off those lights that stay on when shit breaks and you’ve already fixed it.

Uncanny! I was just typing this out when you stole it from my brain.

Some of them have special helmets.