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Cap'n Cunt

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About Cap'n Cunt

  • Rank
    Massive Cunt

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  • Location
    .... A big house with three shitters
  • Interests

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1,349 profile views
  1. Cap'n Cunt

    People Who Sing and Hum At Work

    If the only job you can get is as a voluntary cleaner at the local church, I'm afraid you'll have to put up with it.
  2. Cap'n Cunt

    The Pen Inn Roundabout at Newton Abbot

    People going on holiday to Torquay shouldn't be allowed to drive. Lowlife mouth-breathing spastics.
  3. Cap'n Cunt

    My left foot.

    If he's a spazz he probably shits himself anyway, so why does he need a toilet?
  4. Cap'n Cunt

    Obese cunts in New Look

    If I was a doughnut-chomping lardass (which I'm not), I'd hardly make a spectacle of myself by moaning that New Look's 'Morbidly Obese' range of clothing was more expensive than similar items tailored to fit normal people. Maria Wassell, a fat shop assistant from Kent, disagrees. Rather than meekly stump up for a size 28 floral-print tent, she bemoans the fact that she's charged extra for the vast swathes of terylene required to manufacture her clothes, claiming it's 'fat-shaming'. Well, I agree. You're fucking fat, and you should be ashamed of yourself. You will die early, and nobody will want to fuck you. (Well, maybe Neil would, but no-one normal.)
  5. Cap'n Cunt

    Chinese Medicines (again)

    Well, it won't have 'Pangolins' in the latest edition, if the slopes have eaten them all.
  6. Cap'n Cunt

    Chinese Medicines (again)

    It's not like Pangolins are actually of any use, though, is it? It's just some weird kind of anteater thing that lives in a tree (or possibly in a hole (or possibly underwater - who knows?)). And on a secondary note, I don't think the bloke on the right is Chinese, either.
  7. Cap'n Cunt

    Dame tessa Jowel

    'Piss on her grave'? Pathetic. Dig her up, fuck her up the arse and punch her in the face, I say. Then shove a broom handle up her chuff and plant her in your front garden like a scarecrow, so you can take pleasure in watching her fly-blown corpse slowly disintegrate.
  8. Cap'n Cunt

    The late Mrs. Evans.

    I hope they stuff the ginger twat back up her cunt before they bury her.
  9. Cap'n Cunt

    Yardape culture

    Is that Chopper Harris? Played for Chelsea in the 1970's? He were a hard fucker, mind.
  10. Cap'n Cunt

    Yardape culture

    ...there are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary, and thaose that don't.
  11. Cap'n Cunt

    Yardape culture

    She must have nicked it. Black people don't actually 'work', any more than pikeys do.
  12. Cap'n Cunt


    I taught myself to wank whilst watching The New Avengers, with Joanna Lumley jumping around wearing stockings. She never actually got her fanny out, though, which was a bit disappointing.
  13. Cap'n Cunt

    Lily Allen

    She needs a firework up her uterus.
  14. Cap'n Cunt

    Sheridan Smith

    Fuck me, that's a mess. Looks like my alcoholic auntie Bertha.
  15. Cap'n Cunt

    Rioting Scousers at Alder Hey

    I don't understand what all the fuss is about. It's a fucking spacker, it'll always be a spacker. Kill the fucking thing now, otherwise it'll spoil the runup to that Prince/darkie wedding thing.