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Cap'n Cunt

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282 Excellent

About Cap'n Cunt

  • Rank
    Veteran cunt

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    .... A big house with three shitters
  • Interests

Recent Profile Visitors

662 profile views
  1. All This Halloween Bollocks

    I think you've confused penguins with Argentinians.
  2. Shitty Computers

    Shakespeare was a cunt and poetry is gay nonsense.
  3. Lotto millionaire Jane Park

    They stayed away too long.
  4. People WHo Have To Wear Name badges and Hair Nets

    What, like these poor unfortunate cunts?
  5. People WHo Have To Wear Name badges and Hair Nets

    What, like these poor unfortunate cunts?
  6. Lotto millionaire Jane Park

    What the fuck is it with women and tattoos? With a judicious application of rohypnol one might end up shagging the most beautiful woman in the world, but if she had one of these disgusting chavvy 'sleeves' or perhaps a tramp stamp, you could conceivably wake up in the morning next to it and think 'Oh fuck, I ended up in bed with a merchant seaman. Again'.
  7. Good final lines to a novel

    "....and she never posted a crap nomination on Cunts Corner ever again."
  8. People WHo Have To Wear Name badges and Hair Nets

    I used to enjoy going clubbing in my younger days.
  9. Bull shitting cunts.

    Please accept my humble apologies. I shall retract my finger from Prince Philip forthwith.
  10. Recycling Hitlers

    I wouldn't want pikeys camping on my melanocytic nevus.
  11. Bull shitting cunts.

    I once shagged the queen, when I was in the SAS. They wanted to give me some kind of medal for shooting foreigners, but I had a word with David Stirling and he had a word with the Queen Mum, who set me up for a romantic liaison with HRH. Well, I've shagged a few dirty birds in my time, but she was filthy. Her fanny was a bit baggy, what with her having recently given birth to Princess Anne, but she insisted that I suck her lactating tits whilst fingering her Royal Anus. What with her being The Queen and all, I thought it best to use some kind of lubricant so I smeared some beluga caviar on my finger before inserting it into the Royal Rectum. That Greek bloke filmed the whole thing, but unfortunately the only copy got destroyed in the fire of London in 1066. Prince Charles is my son. I am disappointed in him.
  12. RapeLawyers4You

    I dreamt that Simon Cowell was bumming me whilst I was shagging his mum, and when I woke up I'd shit the bed. Can I get some money? (Asking on behalf of a friend.)
  13. Slightly less interesting than a detailed description of haemorrhoid surgery.
  14. Fat bastards

    Enforced liposuction is the answer. And sell their excess blubber to the Japanese, they like eating that sort of thing.
  15. Fat bastards

    I think it's a cheap 1970's food processor. My mum had one. I think me dad got it for her with Kensitas coupons.