Well, I wouldn’t normally divulge private & confidential PMs, but I feel obliged too in this instance and to share with you a small snippet that “Dame Widow Fwankie” sent me to proof-read before his rendition of “Olivia” at this years Xmas Concert Panto.. I myself think it’s a heap of shit and on par with anything he quips, but who am I to judge? After all, he sweated buckets and pulled-out of his slops to produce it. Bless her. Anyway, his muvver’s coming and all, so it should go off with a bang.
D.W. Fwankie (minced/spoken)
So, ‘specialist, are yer up for it?
B. D. Specialist (likewise)
Are yer sure Mr. Spunk Gape won’t mind?
D.W. Fwank (playing coy)
Mind!!! (breaks into falsetto)
Consider yerself at ‘ome.
Consider yerself, Punker’s famileee
He’s taken to you
It’s clear, you’re queer, you’re bound to gettalong.
Consider yerself well in
Consider yerself a-nuvver shirt-lifter
There isn’t much more to say
OK, you’re gay
We’re both the uvver way.
If yer dance wiv me,
you will see, harder days
Tubs of lardie-days, why grouse?
A-chance to fuck Punkape, 'coz he bends at will
So let’s go to his ‘ouse... Hoi!
Consider yerself our mate
Yer don’t ‘av ter make no fussI
After all considerations I can tell you’re not str8
Consider yerself, one of us!
D.W. Fwankie (aroused)
We mince about all lah-di-dah and uppitee
There’s arses a-plentee, for all
Only it’s wise to be handy wiv a felchin’ stool
When Punker’s trannies come ‘round to call, Hoi!
Consider yerself my mate
Consider yerself, me only famileee
I’ve taken to you, so strong
What’s wrong, we’re queer
We’re bound to gettalong…
Consider yerself, My Top!
I only love Gay-Cock
I know you take it up the arse, you ‘re up my Street,
Consider yer-selllllf (pom pom pom)
One of Us!
(act limp to fade, curtsy, dodge the beer bottles. curtains)