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Lord McCunty

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About Lord McCunty

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    New Cunt
  1. Limp hand shakers

    Utter fucking cuntwads. I fucking hate shaking hands, but if we're all expected to do it in business, then at least make an effort. I don't want to give a hand job to a flat Michelin man. Bollockless cunts.
  2. Meterological Exaggeration

    The Daily Express and Nathan Rao each warrant their own noms. Every fucking week we are supposedly all about to roast alive, or be arse raped by polar bears. But I also hate the cunts who perpetuate this bullshit they read in their tabloid rags by propagating it as gospel to every cunt they meet. Old cunts in particular will take great delight in informing you of impending doom when you have an outdoor activity planned.
  3. Pissing all over the place.

    I've suffered this indignity many times. But it still begs the question, what the fuck do you do if you are at someone else's house and the diverted piss stream goes all over their bog roll tower? Gradually and repeatedly flush it away, pretending you have taken a shit of epic proportions?
  4. Battered and Warm

    You should blanch them first, you common cunt!
  5. Mike Brewer

    How the fuck do you know what a good mechanic is? I bet you can't even change a tyre, you thick twat.
  6. Having a scrotty itchy arse crack

    Every shite I take is like clearing up the Shetlands. Reams of wet wipes needed just for a remotely clean sheriff's badge, yet still end up with shitty fingers from just an innocent scratch through the kegs.. Why the fuck don't we have proper crappers like the Japs? I for one would really appreciate a jet wash of the tea towel holder after ever shit. They really have this nailed.. If you had shit on your nose, would you just wipe it off with a bit of tissue? Think it could be time for a visit to my very prime and proper lady doctor for an rectal exam.... Fuck off.
  7. Cunts who order gay curries

    The naga curry my local curry house does leaves you fantasizing about being shagged up the arse by a snowman.
  8. Jim Hart

  9. North Korean cunts

    Fuck you beechees!
  10. Cunts like Gordon Ramsey who ask questions in "complete my sentence" format. Eg. "And YOU are ...?", "You're here to see ...?", "Your job is ...?" And you are a ....? Narcissistic, odious, conversationally retarded cunts.
  11. PDC Champions League of Darts

    Why the fuck, with all the hundreds of TV channels now available, have the BBC fucked the entire evening BBC TWO schedule for fucking Darts? Instead of watching cunts getting the shit ripped out of them for their shite inventions on Dragon's Den, the whole evening is full of Fosters swigging, fat bald cunts. I've known for a long time that the BBC are cunts, but this is a new low.
  12. London terror attack

    It's a terrorIST attack you shit head!
  13. So you're a Royalist cunt as well as an English one...
  14. The Welsh do not change to speaking Welsh when an Englishman walks in. They alternate languages all the time. A completely bollocks cliche, perpetuated by cretins who know fuck all about Wales.
  15. I hate cunts that come to a complete stop when there is noone behind them to "allow" you to pull out of a junction. Unless there is a lot of traffic, there is no fucking point to this and it would be a lot quicker and easier if they just went past so you can pull out afterwards. I'm sure the cunts do it as a power trip rather than genuine kindness. And flashing your lights to let people out is fucking stupid; it just means "I am here".