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Last Cunt Standing

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About Last Cunt Standing

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  1. England Cricket Cuntbreeds

    It’s on BT Sport in the U.K., Richard.
  2. Dennis K

    Oxymoron alert, you gurning moron. I don’t think you can have the shit raped out of you, then kicked out of you, for surely any seriously aggressive bum action would leave very little shit to be kicked. I will however defer to our resident secretary of the Cheshire Branch of The Vatican Golf Society, who I suspect is something of an expert in the finer detail of rough sodomy.
  3. NHS Winter Crisis v64.0

    Mrs T would be proud of you my neoliberal individualist friend. I mean, fuck collective security, eh? There’s no such thing as society, after all. I’m sure you have plenty in the Swiss account, so much so that even a catastrophe like Motor Neurone Disease would provoke barely a shrug from your bank manager. The £1m+ in expected lifetime costs could easily be met with a cheque from Coutts, and certainly wouldn’t require your wife to sell a kidney or your daughter to go on the game. I mean, why should “The Strivers”give a shit if their neighbour goes from respected professional to drooling spastic with a catheter and a conti pad in less time than it takes for Lewis Hamilton to park his new jet at Douglas Airport. Fuck them, eh? The concept that you can measure a civilisation by how the weak and vulnerable are treated is just a load of wet Commie wank to you I don’t doubt. If you do worry about the demands on the government teet, how about means testing the Boomers with their vast unearned housing wealth before you start on the sick and disabled, you warped Cunt. Did Grandad have a black uniform and armband in the loft or something? Mail readers don’t need to worry about staying warm in the winter, for it rarely snows in Hell. Attlee must be spinning in his grave. Fuck off.
  4. Heartbreak

    No, I don’t suffer from Prosopagnosia. However I have a feeling I’d struggle to tell you apart from a piss-soaked old tramp. Are you still carrying Punkys’ handbag down at Our Lady of the Immaculate Nine Iron or what?
  5. TUI

    Are these two mutually exclusive? Fred West didn’t think so.
  6. Heartbreak

    I recommend a career in Neurosurgery, Pen.
  7. June Kenton

    June would probably get on well with you Bertie, for she knows how to handle a Right Tit like almost no one else in Britain.
  8. NHS Winter Crisis v64.0

    Decs, you make fair points, and were this Question Time you could expect a warm ripple from the Tunbridge Wells audience. Many a PhD thesis has been written on what is called multimorbidity and our ageing population. For example, in 1995 at my surgery the average patient visited 2.7 times per year, and had a total of 11.6 items per year on prescription. Those numbers in 2015 were 8.8 and 26.7. 50% of my daily workload relates to people over 60. This exponential trend shows no sign of stopping. We have known this for years. The downside to preventative medicine (or upside if you are a GSK shareholder) is that that combination of blue pill white pill green pill five times a day extends your life so you can keep taking blue pill white pill green pill for 40 years. I won’t be drawn on the politics of who should get what funded. But don’t think the mess we are in is accidental. It’s a classic defund, destabilise, demonise, denationalise Con-trick as Chomsky predicted. Now, can we get back to calling a Cunt a Cunt, and Punkape a Cocksucking Fraud? fuck off.
  9. NHS Winter Crisis v64.0

    Correct Baws, you win a free Bed Bath.
  10. NHS Winter Crisis v64.0

    https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jan/11/nhs-patients-dying-in-hospital-corridors-doctors-tell-theresa-may And still the agony continues..... How many pensioners can you fit in your average hospital corridor? answers on a postcode to Jezza Hunt, Secretary of State for Geronticide, c/o 7th Circle of Hell.
  11. Dennis K

    I think you mean Special K, which seems appropriate given I suspect you are familiar with being labelled “Special”, as in drooling vegetable. Even for a first swing it’s a fucking shitty substandard effort, as my erstwhile fellow Cunts have pointed out. I suggest you read a book or twenty before you venture back here, or expect a merciless Cunting.
  12. The Rooney Rule

    A rare honour to receive feedback from your good self, universally adored by all who encounter him. Haven’t you got a hot date with Fr McFeeley behind the Confessional? Best get your cassock on, Punky... Fuck Off...
  13. Deborah Briton and Paul Roberts

    Pigs are sentient creatures, Baws. These scumbags are Scousers, several notches below algae on the Attenborough scale of appreciable life on Earth. I pray nightly for a freak Irish Sea Tsunami to roll up the Mersey and drown this nest of thieving emotional incontinents.
  14. The Rooney Rule

    Evening Cunts, Here’s today’s thought experiment to get us all grinding our premolars: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42623021 The FA, in their infinite wisdom, have decided to import The Rooney Rule from the NFL, presumably in error, thinking it referred to everyone’s favourite spud-faced Scouse Grannyfucker and former England Captain. So now when inevitably Team England get humiliated in Russia by the mighty Lesotho or some such, and Gareth Southgate is told to fall on his sword (missing, obviously), we will be forced to endure weeks of faux outrage from the Daily Mail as the FA are now obliged to consider at least one non-white figure for the role of England Manager. Please let it be Trevor McDonald. Or Rustie Lee. Imagine that team talk. Now I personally don’t give a fuck if the next Manager is purple (and Barney The Dinosaur might be better at it than Woy Hodgson), but I think this dated affirmative action shite is a bit beyond the pale. How about “the best man for the job” as a short, punchy recruitment policy? Lets say they do appoint an Ince or Barnes or fuck it, Kamara, how will these chaps handle the inevitable snide inference from the sporting press that they have Tokenism and the FA PR department to thank for their new job. A total poorly thought-through shit show and fucking awful US import. Football is no longer just for Irons, but for Steels, Bronzes and Brasses (though an alternate Rooney Rule does apply to the latter). Fuck off.
  15. England Cricket Cuntbreeds

    Dying of embarrassment more like. Hope he’s had some intravenous courage.