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Last Cunt Standing

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About Last Cunt Standing

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    Massive Cunt

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  1. Well I never. I’ve heard of the pink pound, but this takes the piss...
  2. No, but I’m betting when the doctor reported the positive BHCG back to Steph, he or she might have enquired if Ms McGovern had checked her balls for lumps lately.
  3. A quick roll call of celebrity rugmunchers between overs from NW8..... Toksvig S, Davidson R, Butcher P, Goodyear J, Balding C, Perkins S, Calman S, Cameron R, Black MP, M. And now the fucking Teeside Homunculus joins the Dungaree Club. Muffdivery might explain her pronounced masseter muscle I suppose, but I suspect Alex Jones won’t be joining her for another series of “Howay man, get yersel doon Aldi” or whatever it’s called. Bad for the homely Valleys girl brand, see. I did once suggest dear Steph was appointed by a BBC Lesbian but I never expected herself to be a Fishknuckle. I thought women had more taste. Yuk.
  4. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-7244909/BBC-Breakfast-host-Steph-McGovern-expecting-child-girlfriend.html Does anyone know how you get vomit off the ceiling?
  5. I wouldn’t worry MC, a few baht in the right places and you can buy your own live version as you well know.
  6. 3:55 Finger Maus 4:10 Cracker Jack 4:45 The Burning Book Tower 5:10 JewsRound 5:30 Zyklon Grove. All presented by Anne Frank from The Broom Cupboard. Presumably Rainbow, The Pink Windmill and Black Beauty would all be banned.
  7. Are we to believe the Sage of Brixton, while not goose-stepping round his bedsit in his tinfoil hat, has never studied psychological pre-programming as a tool for propping up the plutocracy? The early appearance of Sergei was obviously there to lay the groundwork for the influx of Russian oligarchs you fucking dunce. Simples.
  8. I think 5 reds, 4 blacks and a Blue sounds like a headcount in HMP Walton. A former colleague of mine paid to watch the Mosconi cup just to get a look at her in the striped top and gloves, the dirty wanker.
  9. Clarke or Verhaas? I’ve never met him but I always liked the cut of Jan’s jib. Michaela Tabb was the boss, mind.
  10. Apologies. My inner Verhaas just couldn’t be silenced.
  11. Arsehole central looks to be a mere tube ride away. Narcissism is the end of civilisation. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7227899/Tourists-say-media-addicts-selfie-takers-ruined-trip-Shard.html
  12. His nutritionist (this years’ fad for Instagram) banned him from eating late night Indian food. The resulting turmeric deficiency caused stiffness in his bridge hand and he swerved off to the right faster than Amber Rudd. Either that or he couldn’t be arsed. Who knows. Snooker is thoroughly bored of the Ronnie show. 38, incidentally.
  13. I never could order Seafood Special after hearing this. It’s no Uncle Nobby, mind.
  14. Presumably named after Ted “The Count”? The e is an affectation.
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