Jump to content
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

Last Cunt Standing

  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

191 Excellent

About Last Cunt Standing

  • Rank
    Veteran cunt
  1. Happy saint paddys day

    Only because they can’t spell supremacist.
  2. Female football pundits

    Helen Skelton whining now about being slapped on the arse. Correct me if I’m long, but didn’t she do the 2012 swimming in her bra and pants, thus inviting the drool of many viewers? Hypocritical splitarse. Hashtag fuck off.
  3. The Rt Hon Gavin Williamson MP

    Our Adrian Mole-esque Defence Secretary is now exercising his gonads by taking to a podium telling the Ruskies to “go away and shut up”, in the manner of a bed wetting first-year begging for his lunch money to be returned by a group of bigger boys just before they knock his teeth in. The world has never been as dangerous since the 1980s and in charge of our defence we have a pubescent cunt who is four elderberry gins away from transitioning into a very ugly woman. Expect a couple of hundred T14’s moving on Estonia anytime soon. Anyone want to buy a house?
  4. Post-event Car Parking

    I’m Still Standing, though. Cunt.
  5. Post-event Car Parking

    My mother has been dead for twelve years you Cunt. Happy Mothers Day.
  6. Post-event Car Parking

    Goofy streak of piss hitching his trailer to the current trend for all things Geordie plays Kingston Upon Hole? I’d rather have Fourniers gangrene. Thanks for offering, mind.
  7. Oxford University And The Feminist Cunts Who Call It Home

    Beatniks? You are aware it’s 2018?
  8. Post-event Car Parking

    I don’t care for female stand ups Baws, and this particular cunt is as funny as finding a genital wart while having a piss on the plane home from a Bangkok stag do. Besides, the Embassy Theatre in Skegness is a bit chilly at this time of year and is very much a Summer run out in the car for me.
  9. Post-event Car Parking

    If it makes you feel better Bubbs, I went home and had a nice Speyside single malt over a challenging game of Backgammon. I would say I have fairly Catholic taste in entertainment if I didn’t think it would get me into trouble here on T’Corner. Oh, and while it goes without saying, fuck off and die you contemptible little maggot.
  10. Post-event Car Parking

    I’m partial to a Saturday night trip out from time to time, and last night ventured to see the comedy stylings of Jason Manford in the delightful Northern hamlet of Grimsby, after checking my vaccination record and stocking up on alcohol hand wipes. The show was good, if tarnished a little by the smell of body odour from the row behind and the disgusting fat creature to my left who got through two massive sacks of Doritos and a tub of ice cream during the show, before announcing to her pathetic weed of a man that she would “need to stop at Maccies cos I’ve got fuckin heartburn”. As Crazy Crazy Nights blasted out signalling chucking out time, everyone seemed to leave in good mood, chortling their way to the car park, yet as soon as the central locking kicked in the primate brain took over. 2000 cars all fighting to get out of a single lane exit. Cunts edging forward, revving at each other, flashing their lights, refusing to make eye contact. What utter cuntery, predictable as a fight in the Guinness tent at Cheltenham. It makes for an amusing spectacle though if you sit and glug your Thermos of coffee while these idiots all spike their blood pressure, which most of the wobbling blobs can ill afford. I’d go out more if it wasn’t for the public. Cunts.
  11. UNEEY...

    I’d suggest The Samaritans Frank, but I rather suspect they’d urge you to jump within 5 minutes of talking to you, perhaps signing off with “you are done here”. Glug Glug. Get a new act, sharpish.
  12. UNEEY...

    This is essentially a giant con, pandering to the parental desire for children to better themselves as a form of social anaesthesia. The rot set in in 1992 when every provincial bus station and leisure centre could start giving out degrees, then they commercialised themselves, doling out courses in The Simpsons and Golf Course Management. It’s a giant Ponzi scheme, and people have rumbled it. If you are doing Maths/IT/Economics at a Russell Group place you’ll be fine moving along the conveyor belt to Canary Wharf. Likewise medicine and dentistry or allied health courses. Everyone else is fucked and would be better off emigrating at 18 or going on The Game.
  13. Oxford University And The Feminist Cunts Who Call It Home

    I believe cleaners at Oxford colleges are called scouts. You haven't really experienced pain until you attend a JCR meeting at an Oxford college. Even 25 years ago they were populated by feminazis and weird political types who thought passing a motion condemning Saddam Hussein would finally break the homicidal Cunt. I tended to get kicked out, suggesting we pass a motion to pass more motions by sticking Ex Lax in the Alpen. I did discover effecting a northern accent could get you a blowie off some Home Counties splitarse who wanted to take you home to scare Daddy. Evelyn Waugh is a right Cunt.
  14. Flo & Joan Nationwide Ads.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5478565/Nationwide-call-police-death-threats-singing-sisters.html Repeat bollocks.
  15. Ad cunts

    “Once it goes black, it ain’t growing back” Subtitle of the ANZAC Association of Vascular Surgeons’ Annual Meeting Canberra, June 2017.