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About Poesklap

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    New Cunt

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    Africa. East and South.

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  1. You utter public school-frottaging frog-torturing cuntstick. Two good friends of mine went to Eton , another to Marlborough. None of them would deign to mention their school or Oxbridge education in conversation, nor to lord their Rees-Mogg fanzine wet-dream fuckcuntage over a backwater internet discussion board. You complete fucking cunt. Go and pickle in your stewing piss-stained Home Counties tea-cosy-sized boiled-egg and Marmite dukedom, you irrelevant tin-pot cunt.
  2. Amen. A Zuma Mugabe double bill funeral would be a welcome jubilation in these trying times down south. Sadly African dictators that are not actually assassinated seem to go on forever in their dotage. Would that I could have them trussed, gagged like Marcellus Wallace and delivered to Punker’s Pleasuredome, aka the men’s bogs on Clapham Common.
  3. Besides, I don't read your press, nor you mine, so my blood-spitting vexations down south in Africa are not really topical for CC. That said, the usual salmonella shit show of politicians, d-list celebrities and internecine squabbling of whatever message board you're on, are universal. That said, I feel a nom coming on.
  4. Hmmm @Cuntybaws... Judging by the casual vitriol heaped down on anyone who pops their head above the parapet, lurking – and just enjoying the (occasional) really bitingly funny rejoinders here – seems the best option.
  5. They’re called ‘Pangas’ here. ‘Machetes’ are the accessories of effete, overweight Central American drug lords. Go read a book. Anime and Sgt. Fury comics don’t count.
  6. Your knee jerk sputtering of witless homophobic put downs are not quite as adorable. And your constant territorial army anorak trainspotter references to the British Army, Navy, and tanks, and other hardware (no doubt mooned over in the encrusted, stuck together pages of a dog-eared Falklands War-era Jane’s Defense Mag) - in an increasingly assymetrical warfare-dominated world - are about as edifying as reading dyslexic death threats written on a wall. In shit.
  7. The thought of getting my mission-critical CC profile hacked by someone who thinks Ghost in the Shell and the Blade Trilogy are the last and latest word in edgy pop culture is indeed troubling. I’ve unplugged my Amiga and put my 6210 in a tupper at the back of the freezer.
  8. https://local.theonion.com/fucking-idiot-has-perfect-gif-for-that-1828864809/amp
  9. Sigh... such lazy, casual racism. Worse still, it’s not even funny. The plane was brand new, the pilot was a pro, and Ethiopian is a good airline. They ferry hundreds of sunburned, fat, arrogant, package-holiday tourists of your ilk from Zanzibar daily back to the UK. Cunt.
  10. 'Iron' ('Iron hoof' = 'poof') In Cockney rhyming slang, only the first word is generally used. So the abbreviated form of 'iron hoof' is 'iron'. Had to look this up. It reminded me of how fucking much I hate Cockney cunting rhyming slang. A stupid, drunk-uncle ‘Carry On’ movie lexicon of cringe-worthy intellectual homunculus pat shite. A secret verbal handshake for amputees.
  11. Jou ma se vrot bok poes. That took me four seconds. Three more than your gurning, drooling grunt. Cunt.
  12. 'Cometh the hour, cometh the man'... Judging by the bad acid trip Spitting Image bunch of helium-powered gargoyles in your parliament, Britain isn't obviously in that bad a shape needed to call a reluctant statesman the calibre of Vaclav Havel, Churchill or Atlee into the breach. From the Gammon robot that was Cameron, to the harpy that is May assailed by the socks and Birkenstock moldy crudite Corbyn, what MP cunt would you like to give a good cunting to? I’ll go first. David Davis. Weekend ‘hard’ Territorial Army wanker who (Censored CC Member) gets gooey over UK Navy, amphibious? battleship frottage. Over to you.
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