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Major Cunt

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Everything posted by Major Cunt

  1. Several possibilities, Frank. You catch a walking stick across the skull from a pensioner, get arested, or Ape builds Claymores from a few empty beans cans, and blows your spindly legs into a thousand splinters as you open your front door.
  2. Yes I've seen that one. The daft cunt can't ski and should have gone off piste, preferably on a toboggan.
  3. I've only seen Walnut Head, which was pretty funny due to sheer originality and randomness. I'll have to look at his Vimeo account for the others. He hasn't made a nom in donkeys years, and a quality nom could bring redemption. Frank you cunt, pull your finger out!
  4. With all the free time the mincing ponce has, I don't see why he doesn't join a gym. I'm certain he can find a suitably over-priced one to cater his needs. Obviously a personal trainer's a necessity, and probably several courses of Decca and Testosterone to appear remotely Aids free.
  5. As a late comer to the saga of Ed and Fatty defending some slapper in a Wetherspoons car park, and getting a good kicking to boot. I have a couple of questions. Is it true they were actually 14 year olds on bmx's? Also, Did Ed really look like Rocky (the one Chers in, not the boxer), once the dust had settled. If I'd still been living in S.E London I would have backed you up Ed. Obviously I wouldn't have jumped straight in, I need to know if you can handle yourself first.
  6. I'd wager handsomely that the frogs are giving the brexit speech. "If you can't make it buy November, the Royal Navy will cannon you".
  7. Same here, there used to be 10 per day then there was a bit of a shakeup. We needed to drain the swamp of a cunt of a yank, and a few other wankers. Christmas was a funny time sheer madness. I along with a few others got banned, quality nonce accusations and meltdowns. Then it turned into Mumsnet for a bit.
  8. 202 in one day, a new record, gyps. No sign of Norris mcwhiter though.
  9. You couldn't make that shit up, could you? Storing a shit load of low explosive with fucking cyanide cylinders or barrels. These cunts ain't that smart after all considering they steal rather than invent. That's why 5G is a no go, its not necessary right now anyway. IBM or some other firm could replace the Huawei tech. I'm no real fan of the Donald, but I think his intentions are good. Let's hope he gets enough votes to stop Pelosi and Co stopping his vision.
  10. All shot around west, and northwest London. Makes sense.
  11. I like the idea Stubbs, think big. Do count me in, and I reckon Ratski fly's a Junkers JU88. Phosphorus grenades should kick it off nicely, but flares if it comes to it.
  12. Never realised it was that cut and dry, WC. It's a pickle, le monsieurs are certainly cunts treated with suspicion, and derision by most English, but as you rightly pointed out they do some great food.
  13. Can you believe that Border Force agents apprehended 202 illegal immigrants today, a new record. Think how many millions its gonna cost to either remove, or house these backwards cunts. They have absolutely no idea how to behave in a first world country. Expect rape statistics to reach an all time high. We should stick em straight on a boat back to frogland. The law clearly states you're to claim asylum at the first European country you enter. Cunts!
  14. Did you know that Frank Kleftico has a YouTube channel? It contains one video 'Bucket o' Flids'. Is that the talentless cunts greatest achievement?
  15. I remember the above explosion being reported, which I thought strange considering the Chinks either cover up or deny such incidents. The problem they had with this one was monitoring stations outside the country. As I believe it registered about a 3 on the richter scale.
  16. Good shout, Herr Oberst. Both Clement Atlee, and Harold McMillan were outstanding Premiers.
  17. They went after Trumps inner circle straight after the election in a bid to isolate, and decapitate. The likes of Roger Stone, Cohen, General Jim Mattis, ect, but it didn't have the desired effect. The Mueller report was total bollocks, and Biden's financially taking it up the arse from the Chinks, which is open knowledge. Sadly Americans are fucking thick, so place your bets ladies and gents.
  18. That's about how I see it, Killer. For Meghan Fox I'd probably do the same. Regarding the sausage fest and the silicon blonde, there'd have to be serious paper heading my way.
  19. If you had an invite for a pornstar gangbang - You know the ones where 20 random blokes smash one bird. Would you go?
  20. They were working their way up the greasy ladder of showbiz in that era, jobbing actors. The bloke who played Roy in Eastenders also plays a part in Gangster Number one with Malcolm McDowel.
  21. I think the Pakistanis were scrapping bits of the cricket ball or similar old bollocks. Never found cricket even remotely interesting, no sir. A match takes place over several days, and only womans beach volleyball should have that honour.
  22. It means you're concerned about loosing your erection as you get older. I wouldn't worry about it too much as Viagra's available over the counter now. Maybe a wank over Eva Braun might help, but personally, I'd prefer Diane Kruger. She's certainly aryan, Ratty.
  23. A little THC won't do you any harm, as long as you're not schizophrenic. Not too much though, some decent solid would do, but that's as rare as rocking-horse-shit these days.
  24. The latest one I've heard Stubbs, is that the parents were swingers and attended orgys. Apparently they would give the kids a sedative, as one's an anesthetist, on this occasion obviously too much. All that fucking money and no babysitter. I've said it before, but common sense is not a prerequisite of intelligence.
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