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Major Cunt

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Posts posted by Major Cunt

  1. 2 hours ago, King Billy said:

    Good evening Major. Good to see you back. How was your time with The Wagner Group?

    It's been eye-opening, Bill. As a thoroughbred, party line-toeing nazi I was dubious about fighting it out with my own but the money being promised by Vlad was just to good to turn down.

    • Like 2
  2. Rusty is sadly up shit creek without a paddle and will always be tarred with the rapist brush. Regardless of my own opinions surrounding the feral looking, conspiracy seeking, ex smackhead. We shouldn't be having a trial through the media when the old bill are not even involved. Any old slag desperate for a few quid can allege that he's fingered her beaver 🦫 ect.

    Didn't that old cunt who plays Ken Barlow go through the same shit. 

    • Like 1
  3. 6 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

    I even left the front door unbolted and yet nothing happened. :(

    Disappointed, eh, Pen? Are the locals only interested in your capacious sphincter and not your Black Mamba.  🤔 

    Thanks for setting up the double entendre. 

    • Like 2
  4. On 23/10/2022 at 21:22, Horrified Suburbanite said:

    If BJ gets back in this week, he'll be out again by December when the forthcoming recall petition sucedds. Anyway, well done you for getting this nom back OT. Have a coconut.

     

    On 23/10/2022 at 19:09, ProfB said:

    Boris will be back in power by Fri. My bestie, Big Kazza's great Aunty Tilly got her crystal ball out & predicted, BoJo is going to do a Churchill & come back again. Like a boomerang.

    She also correctly predicted Big K, would meet a lovely young man Sat & she did: Nigel-James, a male nurse.

     

    Comparing Boris to Churchill is akin to comparing Boris Yeltsin to Putin. Both Boris's are little more than empty vessels with strings. Complete fucking idiots with about as much to offer their respective countries as you contribute to the Corner.

    I take great offence in your comparison of Churchill to Boris due to the former being one of my English heroes up there with Field Marshall Montgomery.

    You've been pissing on my leg recently, Prof, and it's not gone unnoticed.

    In the words of Kleftiko "you've been warned".

    @Horrified Suburbanite, ignore the above, double quoted.

     

    • Like 1
  5. On 24/10/2022 at 21:33, King Billy said:

    Evening Major. Good to see you back. I’m assuming your absence has been due to an all inclusive stay at the Bangkok Hilton or some other exclusive establishment. I hope you didn’t encounter too much difficulty checking out prematurely.

    Blame Frank. I had sixty kg of the finest Peruvian stashed at a port north of Lima. The cunt told me that he'd purchased another chest freezer for Ming and that his old man knew the Atlantic like the back of his hand. After a week of waiting I thought I'd chance it on a BA flight to Heathrow.

    @Frank, that shit was on consignment. The cartel are not best pleased and a couple of sicario's are heading to Edgware!

    • Like 2
  6. 54 minutes ago, ProfB said:

    Curl up and die, you cunt wagon without an handbrake.

    Unlike your Eddie Stobbart wagon, eh, Prof? I bet you smudged your lipstick whilst tapping out that little tirade on the M1.

    I'm interested to know exactly what I've done to get under your anchor tattooed skin though...

    Start making me laugh or I'll have you dancing like Buffalo Bill ala Silence Of The Lambs sharpish!

     

    • Like 1
  7. On 22/10/2022 at 20:32, Decimus said:

    or a full time carer for some spastic who can't wipe their own arse

    Don't knock it until you've tried it, mate. For the princely sum of a ton a week i get the pleasure of leaving the Judge in a soiled nappy pleading for a change. I then outsource the job to a Ugandan illegal for a tenner. Sure I have to put up with him curtain twitching with the binoculars in the summer and a few trips to Bargain Booze, but you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. 

    • Like 2
  8. On 01/10/2022 at 12:45, Decimus said:

    What an idiot, if he wanted to pull this off he should have borrowed Lord Penelope's capacious trousers.

    Any punter worth his salt would have placed a wager on the Judge as the would be tea leaf. I was fucking disappointed to find out the man hadn't attempted this daring heist with the aid a scooter.

    • Like 1
  9. 3 hours ago, Decimus said:

    Never mind this shit, you proof reading wanker, I've got a question.

    If Mitch "The Knowledge" Kleftiko picks up a fare from Euston and takes a 19.8 miles round trip detour via High Barnet to Liverpool Street, how many cigarette burns will you end up having on your hands after he gets home to the Barbican studio flat?

    I'm thinking about potential safe locations to flee to in the event that Vald decides to go full Armageddon. I believe that Norfolk has it's fair share of RAF bases, but am also thinking that the swamp may escape. It's either that or Propers bunker. Hopefully his generator packs up and I'm not forced to watch his Bilderberg stack pile.

    I can't see the cunt going full on, but tactical nukes seem to be a real possibility.

    What are your thoughts

  10. 11 hours ago, cunt said:

    Go bother you Poodle (man's best friend™) apologist mate Woofles with your pointless drivel, even a fuckwit with a crack-addled brain like you should've remembered, I fuckin' hate dogs.

     

    What was the score with the avatar that you were asked to change?

  11. 2 hours ago, Decimus said:

    Are you also on 4Chan?

    Fucking Reddit, you utter creep.

    I wouldn't hold out for answer, but why on God's green earth is a 50 year old hipster trolling the pages of Reddit in the early hour's. Personally, I would have expected him to be cruising around WC1 with a fistful of tenners in the old man's black cab.

     

  12. 6 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

    Get back in your cab, Dave.

    Careful, mate. Dave's in possession of a monkey wrench to rival Lord P's hampton and an early morning delivery in the west country.

    I'm picturing that 80s film with some poor cunt getting chased by a lorry.

    • Like 1
  13. On 23/09/2022 at 22:06, Frank said:

    Absolutely rubbish. Keep it to yourself, you fucking idiot. 

    Forget this shit, Franco. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on the pound hitting an all time low against the dollar and Neil's sudden revelation that he's now joined the elite. One can only assume that either a palette of a tiles have knocked him off a scaffold or one of the local brasses have craftily swapped their Rohypnol chaser with him. Twenty fucking years ago you could hit the States and load up on a set of Ralph Lauren bath towels for fithty pence on the pound.

    Would you Adam and Eve it?

    • Like 1
  14. On 23/09/2022 at 20:36, Eric Cuntman said:

    Jewdy’s sulking. They should unrestrict him and let the miserable old bastard get on with it. 

     

    On 23/09/2022 at 21:09, Decimus said:

    I miss the old Jew. 

    He's comedy gold lads. You've gotta love his unique ability of opening up the scooters throttle and blundering into any conversation completely unarmed with the facts.  'Poolgate' being a prime example which will always raise a laugh with me. The man's like a moth to the flame where the Corners concerned and I'm predicting his return as the lido's close for the season. 

  15. If there is one thing that I admire about le frog's, and trust me there's only one, their ability to riot, and to riot almost indefinitely until a ransom of demands are met. You've also got to tip your flat cap @judgetwi * in their banning of the burkha, and also a propensity for shooting terrorists. However, they are still the natural enemy of any self respecting English. We've saved the cunt's twice in the last century and have received little appreciation from your average baguette fondling, kike nosed inhabitant.

    Judge, show yourself, you scooter owning, flat cap wearing, obese, alcoholic cunt! 

    • Like 2
  16. On 16/09/2022 at 21:22, Decimus said:

    Think how I feel. Overnight I've gone from being the leader of a clique that never existed to the position of Eric Cuntman's virtual Baldrick.

    Fuck you, Sway.

    No doubt a cunning plans afoot to put Carlos back in his box. The uncoordinated pincer movement always runs aground against a below ninety iq foe, but where there's a will there's a way.

     

     

    • Like 1
  17. On 12/08/2022 at 09:21, Parabolic Cunting said:

    Frank Mir was a cunt. Lost to Overeem, Nogeira, Barnett, Cormier. Was slapped giddy by Ian Freeman. Useless ape.

    He did hold the belt though, PC, no easy feat in any division of the UFC. Any cunt can beat any other cunt with the right game plan and skill set in that game.

  18. On 07/08/2022 at 00:19, Last Cunt Standing said:

    I would respectfully suggest you spend more time with your dog and less time trying to carve out a reputation as some sort of poundshop Frank Muir. 

    I was just in the process of awarding a like here thinking that you were referring to former UFC fighter Frank Mir at first (which would have been a clever dig given the Wolf's love of the sport, and the Frank in question having hung up the gloves). You'd be better off comparing him to Colby Covington though. A man with a unique ability to make himself look like a cunt with ease but also ticks all the right boxes in the talent department.

    @Wolfie, couldn't resist the above pun.

    • Like 2
  19. 1 hour ago, King Billy said:

    No doubt Roops will ‘fact check’ 🤣 Prof Ennos and unearth some recently discovered (something always turns up when anyone dares to speak out on GB News or against the approved narrative) revelation that the Prof was in the Boy Scouts with David Icke or bought a car from Nigel Farage etc etc etc. That’s the MO now in 2022. If you ask awkward questions you will be mocked, scorned and removed from the conversation permanently. Disinformation innit, not safe, harmful….blah blah blah. Doesn’t matter, you’ll all be dead soon anyway.

    Abso-fuckin-loutly. Look at what happened to The Don. He called out the chinks for unleashing the Kung Flu upon the world and it cannot be argued that patient zero hailed from China. The participants of the forces games were the first international patients to be infected which funnily enough happened to be hosted in the communist state. He was then royally fucked over by the MSM and the septics ended up with Dementia Joe, a cunt that couldn't even make it up the stairs to Air Force One.

    We are now all suffering from the Ukrainian war through astronomical increases in everyday staples. A war which the NATO countries are paying through the fucking nose for. I've no doubt that The Don would have flown to Russia and made a deal with Vlad and the Ukrainians could have avoided the bloodshed.

    I reckon he's got a good chance of getting back into the White House.

  20. 23 hours ago, judgetwi said:

    Neither can I. Fait accompli

    You've been like a wheelchair bound Marshal Bernhard Montgomery on this thread, Jewdy. Rallying the troops in an offensive against the Desert Fox hunt sabitor at El-Alamein. 

    Hopefully she gets fucked off for breaking and bending her own rules at will.

  21. On 24/07/2022 at 23:54, Eric Cuntman said:

    I picked up 4.5oz of white widow from Harwich this morning. Have you ever tried it? I'm fucking mullered.

    I certainly have, Eric. It's an old school strand by today's standards, but also one that will guarantee you'll be reaching for the Jaffa Cakes. 

    I'm predicting an early night.

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