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These dubious little cunts are taking us all for fools. Whether it’s a Boeing 777 which miraculously falls off radar in the general direction of Africa, a prank assassination of a prominent North Korean, or a little Irish girl with Patau Syndrome who finds her inner Bear Grylls, there’s more fiction coming out of Kaula Lumpur these days than Jackanory. How do you not find a naked white teenager in a jungle flooded with 3000 troops? How does not eating for four days result in a perforated colon? How does a developmentally disabled girl open her own window and slip out in the night unheard? Why was she naked? I know this much, if it turns out that the parents were nearby eating tapas with friends, there’ll be holy hell to pay.