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Keith Fucking Chegwin


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Christ, my childhood was blighted by this innately cheery miniscule twat tirelessly leaping around a novelty boxing ring swapping broken skateboards for incomplete Subbuteo sets. That cunting adolescent laugh he still retains must surely be his most grating attribute, although hilariously, he suffers from micro penis. An evergreen panto favourite for his cheeky fucking punchable grin, personable and approachable manner and presumably his history as a whisky-soaked felcher of special olympic gay proportions. Satisfyingly, he has a semi-famous sister who is as attractive as Len Fairclough in a swimming pool.

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