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I hate thieves - they don't deserve to breath air. To take something that belongs to someone else is proper cuntish behaviour. Unfortunately I spied some rhubarb in my neighbours garden and now I can no longer claim to have never stolen anything in my entire life. Not only did I surprise myself by this disgraceful act, I actually planned it down to the last detail. It was like an SAS mission. Has left me feeling somewhat annoyed with myself. Still, it made a brilliant pie!

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