Guest ducunti Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 In all seriousness that woman I am trying to lure on the dating site I might as well just accept the fact I am clutching at straws, it is never going to happen.Have you considered a saga holiday most of them are up for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 13, 2014 Report Share Posted August 13, 2014 Have you considered a saga holiday most of them are up for it. Even that wouldn't help my cause. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 18, 2014 Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Have you considered a saga holiday most of them are up for it. You can send gifts to people on the dating site which are small images, I better not send her a bra or a pair of knickers as they are in the gallery of what can be sent. I decided on a horseshoe as it is meant good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 18, 2014 Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 You can send gifts to people on the dating site which are small images, I better not send her a bra or a pair of knickers as they are in the gallery of what can be sent. I decided on a horseshoe as it is meant good luck. Good luck ? Why the fuck would you do that ? Is she sitting her driving test tomorrow ? Doing a sponsored swim ? Get round her house with 3 litres of cheap cider and some of Fenders choicest DVD's and get her pumped ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 18, 2014 Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Good luck ? Why the fuck would you do that ? Is she sitting her driving test tomorrow ? Doing a sponsored swim ? Get round her house with 3 litres of cheap cider and some of Fenders choicest DVD's and get her pumped ! I didn't want to send anything to suggestive, I know for a fact I am clutching at straws and just running on empty. Getting a woman is impossible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 18, 2014 Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Good luck ? Why the fuck would you do that ? Is she sitting her driving test tomorrow ? Doing a sponsored swim ? Get round her house with 3 litres of cheap cider and some of Fenders choicest DVD's and get her pumped ! Could always get her one of those Crap tins shown in my profile picture. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 On a brighter note a great 2-3 win in the football today, was expecting a crushing defeat. At least something good has come out of a crap day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 The odour of desparation and despair is visible to everyone. It must be like a big fuck off warning siren to a girl - even through the medium of text on the interweb. Sort your fucking self out. You need to get yourself an interest where you are likely to meet like minded women - what about comics and art animation??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 The odour of desparation and despair is visible to everyone. It must be like a big fuck off warning siren to a girl - even through the medium of text on the interweb. Sort your fucking self out. You need to get yourself an interest where you are likely to meet like minded women - what about comics and art animation??? Or just telling them that he is a stand in superstud to the stars. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted August 23, 2014 Report Share Posted August 23, 2014 Apple, hire an armoured bank truck as a limousine, pull up in front of a busy club, and tell the DJ a truck full of money awaits the first 50 fit birds that meet your criteria. When they step in to have a look, run a chloroform gas through the cooling system, and have a little fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 The odour of desparation and despair is visible to everyone. It must be like a big fuck off warning siren to a girl - even through the medium of text on the interweb. Sort your fucking self out. You need to get yourself an interest where you are likely to meet like minded women - what about comics and art animation??? Do you think I should just ask her outright and get it over with, at least if she says no I have tried and can move on, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 Apple, hire an armoured bank truck as a limousine, pull up in front of a busy club, and tell the DJ a truck full of money awaits the first 50 fit birds that meet your criteria. When they step in to have a look, run a chloroform gas through the cooling system, and have a little fun! I have just written to her and asked her outright. It will probably go the way I am expecting and I am playing with fire in a way but you have to fight fire with fire. I would love to meet up with her. The Beatles song 'If I Feel' springs to mind. If she does say no or doesn't reply at least I still have The Beatles and my job, not bad I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 Apple, hire an armoured bank truck as a limousine, pull up in front of a busy club, and tell the DJ a truck full of money awaits the first 50 fit birds that meet your criteria. When they step in to have a look, run a chloroform gas through the cooling system, and have a little fun! She never wrote back, I know she has read the message as being a member it tells you. It was a good effort, it wasn't to be but at least I have saved myself a lot of embarrassment, heartache and god knows what. Comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. I am not going to write to her again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted August 24, 2014 Report Share Posted August 24, 2014 She never wrote back, I know she has read the message as being a member it tells you. It was a good effort, it wasn't to be but at least I have saved myself a lot of embarrassment, heartache and god knows what. Comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. I am not going to write to her again. Take it easy, Apple. Not much time passed, and it is a weekend. You might be pleasantly surprised in a day or so. You need to stand up straight, take a deep breath, and inflate that chest of yours. Allow your inner alpha to step out and exert his prowess over the fairer ladies in your area. Regain some self respect and esteem! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Take it easy, Apple. Not much time passed, and it is a weekend. You might be pleasantly surprised in a day or so. You need to stand up straight, take a deep breath, and inflate that chest of yours. Allow your inner alpha to step out and exert his prowess over the fairer ladies in your area. Regain some self respect and esteem! It is going to take something really special now, can't see it happening. It's like square pegs in round holes. I am playing with fire really but you have to fight fire with fire. All the time there is life there is hope I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Just wank off on the bitches hair for rejecting you. Works for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Just wank off on the bitches hair for rejecting you. Works for me. Is that why you have been banned from ALDI? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Is that why you have been banned from ALDI? I've banned myself from Aldi. Like Apple and his women, the staff at Aldi ignore me, especially when I queue at the check-out. They have this shitty habit of opening a new till when I'm already in a queue behind three loaded trolleys. I know how you feel, Apple: rejection is like a stiletto to the heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 PS. Don't take the analogy the wrong way, I don't mean to belittle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 I started this thread as the apple hadn't arrived on the new site. I didn't know it was going to turn into a fucking suicide watch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Take it you meant 'If I fell' and not 'If I feel'. Freudian slip perhaps. If I fell in love with you would you promise to me true and help me understand, cos I've been in love before and I found that love was more than holding hands. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 I've banned myself from Aldi. Like Apple and his women, the staff at Aldi ignore me, especially when I queue at the check-out. They have this shitty habit of opening a new till when I'm already in a queue behind three loaded trolleys. I know how you feel, Apple: rejection is like a stiletto to the heart. I was banking on some good fortune with this woman, this has left me in a crisis. No way in a million years she is going to write now, typical woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 If I fell in love with you would you promise to me true and help me understand, cos I've been in love before and I found that love was more than holding hands. Are you Danielle O'hara she recycled a daft quote like this after searching the net. O r is it love you are after? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Are you Danielle O'hara she recycled a daft quote like this after searching the net. O r is it love you are after? It's from the 1964 Beatles song 'If I Fell' I am awaiting the day I can finally quote it to a woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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