Jeff Fucking Goldblum

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This swarthy, massive-eared bellend always got right up my tits from The Fly onwards. Got to shag Emma Thompson, when she was as close to being as fuckable as she ever has been in some fuck-awful pint of cunt romantic comedy and graduated into some kind of perennial and lamentably inadequate, piss-poor stereotype Hebe who's a cunt in every other role he's played since. I wish he would fuck off and spontaneously combust, preferably in the same engine-fire inferno at 35,000 ft and on the same fully fuelled A-380 as Roger Fucking Daltrey. And Rick Stein. Now, fuck off and catch fire, you double-chinned bagel-monkey. Graham Kerr's a cunt.