Pre-recorded apologies

[CCArchive]

This really fucking winds me up. The most common examples I experience are at train stations, where my life is regularly blighted and my finite time on Earth squandered by late running services. It does nothing to ameliorate my annoyance when a synthesised voice broadcast over the tannoy apologises, telling me that it is sorry for the delay to my journey. No it isn't. It's a fucking machine. Moreover, the fact that no cunt can be arsed to man the mike in person to apologise suggests a complete lack of sentiment on the matter. The domestic equivalent would be for me to set up a bunch of pre-recorded options on my answer machine along the lines of: "Press 1 to hear me congratulate you on the birth of your baby, press 2 to hear me express my deepest condolences on the death of your wife, press 3 to hear me sympathise in respect of your prolapsed haemorrhoids".