Gym Twats

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Gyms have changed. 'Mr Intensity' here gets in there, muscles up the weights, gets a bit of sweat going, pretty much runs from one set to the next, stretches, 60 minutes tops and I'M OUT OF THERE. Nowadays though, you've got some sweatbanded arsecrack fooling around with a giant rubber band or huge fucking rubber ball for a few minutes before he wanders over to the water cooler, checks out his pencil neck in the mirror, messes with his I-pod ('Yes Enya will lend this next set of bench presses so much gravitas'), waits a minute or two until the karma is just right and then does about 80 reps with a weight a hamster wouldn't find daunting, before going 'Twitter' to a waiting world.. Rinse and repeat for 30 minutes until a faint 'glow' is achieved.