Live Aid + Live 8

[CCArchive]

In 1985, the lead singer of an astoundingly successful and globally recognised band, The Boomtown Rats, decided it was his responsibility to save Ethiopia from the pointed and deliberately-inflicted tyranny of geological lottery and in no way was just an egoist and attention-seeking cunt. Since the West's comparably decadent lifestyles had obviously caused the various famines, plagues and other pestilences endured by Africa in general, St. Bob Geldof was struck by an epiphany. The totalitarian regimes in effect. The self-destructive ideological tendencies and warmongering mindset of those in power. The disastrous precedents of every single attempt at stablilisation. Grassroots restructuring. The destabilising of said regimes. Obviously not the answer. What was needed. Was a concert. A pop song and a concert. With Bob at the helm calling on his vast amount of previous experience working in projects within impoverished nations, it was sure to be a success. Without resorting to underhand tactics such as threatening negative branding due to non-compliance or any kind of guilt tripping whatsoever, Bob amassed his army and fulfilled his vision. Releasing a pop single and holding an intercontinental concert, St. Bob, and his blessed legion raised $250,000,000. The money raised enacted it's mighty powers. Suddenly, rains fell. Crops sprouted from dusty fields. An entirely new infrastructure was enacted, oppressive regimes ceased to be. Where there once was famine, there was now feast. Ethiopia was restored to the peaceful and lush utopian ideal it once was, before the blight of the shamefully wasteful and hedonistic West. There was completely controlled distribution of funds and no money at all went into funding corrupted offical's penchant for goldleaf toiletroll holders. And for quite some time remained so. But Bob's work was not done. A few Africans had not experienced the bounty he had called into being in years previously. In an act nothing to do with his waning public image and appetite for self-glorification, Bob took it upon himself to rescue Africa again, like only he can. Because Bob has not benefitted monetarily in no way from his involvement with charities or political activism. Live 8 empowered those scarce few Africans not aware Bob was responsible for their extravagances in the present age. Exemplifying this example, charities continue to follow this responsible and evenhanded model of giving money hand over fist without proper distributary monitoring, and as such, there is no more suffering in our world.