Losing your false teeth at an orgy.

[Guest]

The missus and I got invited to a mixer by a friend of hers from bingo and we thought fuck it, why not. We rocked up at this flash as fuck two story mansion and was greeted at the door by a fit middle aged slut with her tits out. Jack fucking pot I thought. We went in and were introduced to about ten couples, a few of which were our age but the majority were younger in various stages of undress eating canapés and drinking champagne. Jack fucking pot again! I went to the bathroom and dropped a box of Viagra and beat myself up a horn a cat couldn't scratch and went back to party fully loaded and ready to inflict some damage. When I got back Mrs Grumps was standing there with her tits out (thankfully I had thought to bulldog clip the fuckkers up so cunts didn't trip on them) talking to a few young cunts who obviously wanted a feed of beef jerky. I dropped my tweeds and used my cock to hang my trademark Grumps hat on and started chatting up the fit bitch who greeted us and drinking heavily. The party then progressed outdoors to the massive arsed Spa bath and we all got in and continued drinking heavily and I did my best James Bond moves on afore mentioned fit bitch. The rest of the night is a blur as the hot water of the spa combined with my medication and drinking heavily led to me getting absolutely shitfaced at record pace. I have no recollection of the rest of the night, but it turns out I raped a spa jet and got my cock stuck and in my frenzy to free my member, I strained too hard and laid a massive turd in the spa which bobbed about until it got sucked into some chicks vagina. I then proceeded to wander about with a discarded G-string on my head as an eye patch making pirate noises stabbing cunts in the ear with my cock. Mrs Grumps then informs me I invented a game called "breakfast in bed" in which I smeared cooked chicken and what ever else I could find in their fridge all over my body and proceeded to roll on every bed in the house before interrupting her getting spit roasted by spewing all over her back losing my false teeth in the process. Orgies are fucking awesome and I cant wait to fuck up the next one, but losing my false teeth is a cunt as I now have to gum my food into submission.  

[Guest KuntaCunty]

Grumps, did the lad going into Mrs Grumps from behind tie a safety line to the bed post, or did he fall in? 

[Guest]

Grumps, did the lad going into Mrs Grumps from behind tie a safety line to the bed post, or did he fall in? 

 

Poor cunt fell in KC. We had to call search & rescue and dispatched a St Bernard with a keg of brandy around its neck to find the cunt. 
 

[Guest KuntaCunty]

Poor cunt fell in KC. We had to call search & rescue and dispatched a St Bernard with a keg of brandy around its neck to find the cunt. 
 

 

What a gruesome way to go.  No dog should have to go that way! 

[Guest]

Pile of boring bullshit, Grumps. You've lost interest.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Grumps, you dirty old coffin dodger, and in front of the missus too. If you really must do it again I have a solution for keeping your teeth safe. Tie a length of floss round em and attach the other end to your hearing aid. They'll be safe as a punch n Judy man's swazzle. Alternatively, forget the teeth and use a swazzle, at least if you manage a successful encounter you can say "that's the way to do it".

[Guest]

Pile of boring bullshit, Grumps. You've lost interest.

 

Probably not my best work Franklin but I wouldn't call it boring. How can a yarn about a fucking orgy be boring?? Your just shitty coz you didn't get an invite old son.
 

[Guest nobgobbler]

Ignore him grumps, it made me laugh. Besides, he's just pissed coz he's in court today and he just found out the judge is twi.

[nocti]

At your age grumps, just be thankful you didn't get your viagra mixed up with your steradent.

[Guest]

Probably not my best work Franklin but I wouldn't call it boring. How can a yarn about a fucking orgy be boring?? Your just shitty coz you didn't get an invite old son.

I like you a lot.. you know that. However, the mopey old cunt character you hide behind is out of steam.. old son. Did Klefty not teach you anything! Must dash.

[Guest]

Ignore him grumps, it made me laugh. Besides, he's just pissed coz he's in court today and he just found out the judge is twi.

Foul mouthed simpleton.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Don't go changing Grumpy .... I love you just the way you are.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

Made me laugh....

 

Fwank.. your turn for a story...

...or fuck off "commentating" on others reasonable efforts...

 

Freedom or death!

[scotty]

Made me laugh....

Fwank.. your turn for a story...
...or fuck off "commentating" on others reasonable efforts...

Freedom or death!

I take it back. For some reason the dear pen thread was showing 0 replies, fuck knows why.

[Guest nobgobbler]

No point in frank posting stories ding, as soon as he gets a few home truths posted on the replies he goes wailing to admin and has them taken down.

All he ever does is cunt other members. Its not his fault though, I blame his parents for leaving him on his own when he was child. He was abducted by aliens and they did unspeakable things to his brain.

[cuntspotter]

The missus and I got invited to a mixer by a friend of hers from bingo and we thought fuck it, why not. We rocked up at this flash as fuck two story mansion and was greeted at the door by a fit middle aged slut with her tits out. Jack fucking pot I thought. We went in and were introduced to about ten couples, a few of which were our age but the majority were younger in various stages of undress eating canapés and drinking champagne. Jack fucking pot again! I went to the bathroom and dropped a box of Viagra and beat myself up a horn a cat couldn't scratch and went back to party fully loaded and ready to inflict some damage. When I got back Mrs Grumps was standing there with her tits out (thankfully I had thought to bulldog clip the fuckkers up so cunts didn't trip on them) talking to a few young cunts who obviously wanted a feed of beef jerky. I dropped my tweeds and used my cock to hang my trademark Grumps hat on and started chatting up the fit bitch who greeted us and drinking heavily. The party then progressed outdoors to the massive arsed Spa bath and we all got in and continued drinking heavily and I did my best James Bond moves on afore mentioned fit bitch. The rest of the night is a blur as the hot water of the spa combined with my medication and drinking heavily led to me getting absolutely shitfaced at record pace. I have no recollection of the rest of the night, but it turns out I raped a spa jet and got my cock stuck and in my frenzy to free my member, I strained too hard and laid a massive turd in the spa which bobbed about until it got sucked into some chicks vagina. I then proceeded to wander about with a discarded G-string on my head as an eye patch making pirate noises stabbing cunts in the ear with my cock. Mrs Grumps then informs me I invented a game called "breakfast in bed" in which I smeared cooked chicken and what ever else I could find in their fridge all over my body and proceeded to roll on every bed in the house before interrupting her getting spit roasted by spewing all over her back losing my false teeth in the process. Orgies are fucking awesome and I cant wait to fuck up the next one, but losing my false teeth is a cunt as I now have to gum my food into submission.

Sounds like another evening in Ponthir village hall.

[scotty]

All he ever does is cunt other members. Its not his fault though, I blame his parents for leaving him on his own when he was child. He was abducted by aliens and they did unspeakable things to his brain.

Its not what the aliens did to his brain he wants to worry about gobbler, its what they stuck up his arse. Still, at least that's prepared him for his 18 month stretch.

[Guest]

At least nobody died from cardiac arrest or pulmonary edema as it's the norm at these very popular orgies for the elderly, called " 50 Shades of Old Grey".

[nocti]

At least nobody died from cardiac arrest or pulmonary edema as it's the norm at these very popular orgies for the elderly, called " 50 Shades of Old Grey".

 

True that. Although when someone says that they had a stroke, it could mean fucking anything.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Can anybody join or are they invitation only, and do you have to show your bus pass on arrival?

[Guest]

Can anybody join or are they invitation only, and do you have to show your bus pass on arrival?

 

You need to pass the "Old People Smell" test and you're in.

[Guest nobgobbler]

You need to pass the "Old People Smell" test and you're in.

Was it my unwashed crocheted blanket that gave me away?

[Guest]

Was it my unwashed crocheted blanket that gave me away?

 

The cleaning conundrum, laundry limitations... it all comes together.

[Guest judgetwi]

The missus and I got invited to a mixer by a friend of hers from bingo and we thought fuck it, why not. We rocked up at this flash as fuck two story mansion and was greeted at the door by a fit middle aged slut with her tits out. Jack fucking pot I thought. We went in and were introduced to about ten couples, a few of which were our age but the majority were younger in various stages of undress eating canapés and drinking champagne. Jack fucking pot again! I went to the bathroom and dropped a box of Viagra and beat myself up a horn a cat couldn't scratch and went back to party fully loaded and ready to inflict some damage. When I got back Mrs Grumps was standing there with her tits out (thankfully I had thought to bulldog clip the fuckkers up so cunts didn't trip on them) talking to a few young cunts who obviously wanted a feed of beef jerky. I dropped my tweeds and used my cock to hang my trademark Grumps hat on and started chatting up the fit bitch who greeted us and drinking heavily. The party then progressed outdoors to the massive arsed Spa bath and we all got in and continued drinking heavily and I did my best James Bond moves on afore mentioned fit bitch. The rest of the night is a blur as the hot water of the spa combined with my medication and drinking heavily led to me getting absolutely shitfaced at record pace. I have no recollection of the rest of the night, but it turns out I raped a spa jet and got my cock stuck and in my frenzy to free my member, I strained too hard and laid a massive turd in the spa which bobbed about until it got sucked into some chicks vagina. I then proceeded to wander about with a discarded G-string on my head as an eye patch making pirate noises stabbing cunts in the ear with my cock. Mrs Grumps then informs me I invented a game called "breakfast in bed" in which I smeared cooked chicken and what ever else I could find in their fridge all over my body and proceeded to roll on every bed in the house before interrupting her getting spit roasted by spewing all over her back losing my false teeth in the process. Orgies are fucking awesome and I cant wait to fuck up the next one, but losing my false teeth is a cunt as I now have to gum my food into submission.  

The pathetic rambling of a nerd who thinks he is a comedian. Probably the saddest pile of shite i have ever read on here. Get a life for fucks sake.

[Guest Keith Lard]

The pathetic rambling of a nerd who thinks he is a comedian. Probably the saddest pile of shite i have ever read on here. Get a life for fucks sake.

 

Do you want to suck my dick Judge?