Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 They just can't stop themselves, it's either warm the house with bundles of £50 notes or go to the dealer and try to keep the divorse lawyers away by wrapping a shiny new, overpriced cuntwagon in a big red bow, and handing the keys to an ungrateful, cheating cunt already to drop the papers in your lap. Who buys a car as a gift anymore? Even the extremely wealthy are more prudent with their fortunes than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Fuck off. Good evening Frank, old boy! You feeling well, mate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Good evening Frank, old boy! You feeling well, mate? Not really kunter. Acid reflux is keeping me up and I'm out of gaviscon. What's on your mind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Not really kunter. Acid reflux is keeping me up and I'm out of gaviscon. What's on your mind? Not much, basically growing cobwebs up there tonight. Just going to finish up a few things for the office in the am and get to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Not much, basically growing cobwebs up there tonight. Just going to finish up a few things for the office in the am and get to bed. Right.. I'll say goodnight then. Goodnight kunter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Night Frank! Night judge, Londo, Rat, and all you other Corner punters up at this hour! Sleep well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Goodnight johnboy.... Poofs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Someone gave me a car once. It broke down in a Tesco car park on it's first outing, and I left it there forever. True story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 I wonder what Punkape will be getting for Christmas? As an avowed Catholic and ex private school boy he has undoubtedly been horrendously buggered on numerous occasions, so I'm guessing it'll be a toss up between a Frankie Howerd box set or a 14 inch black mamba dildo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 I wonder what Punkape will be getting for Christmas? As an avowed Catholic and ex private school boy he has undoubtedly been horrendously buggered on numerous occasions, so I'm guessing it'll be a toss up between a Frankie Howerd box set or a 14 inch black mamba dildo. I expect he's hoping for some of that self adhesive aluminium foil tape, to both waterproof and insulate his box for the cold winter months ahead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Baby needs nice things, but even I would draw the line at a car for a blow job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Someone gave me a car once. It broke down in a Tesco car park on it's first outing, and I left it there forever. True story. Back in 1987 Bastardface gave me a knackered up old Fiat 128, it went like the clappers and then blew up whilst I was on holiday in Cornwall. I left if there, I was getting letters for about for 12 months afterwards. I just ignored them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Someone gave me a car once. It broke down in a Tesco car park on it's first outing, and I left it there forever. True story. Jokes on you. Tesco do free recovery when you are on their property. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Jokes on you. Tesco do free recovery when you are on their property. Harsh and Cruel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Someone gave me a car once. It broke down in a Tesco car park on it's first outing, and I left it there forever. True story. Clearly, the cunt didn't know how to wire the explosive device to the distributor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 I once tried this with Frau Rat. It was never going to be a surprise as she doesn't like them, so I just asked: "Why don't I get you one of those new minis?" Her reply? "Why, what's wrong with the car I've got?" Fuckin useless cow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Lady Penelope Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 Off back to Cheshire for week, if I don't manage get on line its Merry Fucking Christmas! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Alfie Noakes Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 No the car is for my spouse! I wouldnt be seen dead in it. Fucking heap of shit! I have an F reg vauxhall corsa with clip on alloy wheel covers, a crudely wired sub, a wide arch body kit, window stickers including; drive it like you stole it, porsche engineering, live life in the fast lane, max power and enough neon lights to make your christmas decorations like like your a cheap cunt You are Jeremy Clarkson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 22, 2014 Report Share Posted December 22, 2014 What type of car is irrelevant to you though, surely Abdul? I mean, you normally just leave them packed full of explosives on a timer near a shopping centre. You're right on the money Leon (see what I did there?). However, choosing a German car for such a mission just felt right, kind of brought things full circle as it were Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 23, 2014 Report Share Posted December 23, 2014 Back in 1987 Bastardface gave me a knackered up old Fiat 128, it went like the clappers and then blew up whilst I was on holiday in Cornwall. I left if there, I was getting letters for about for 12 months afterwards. I just ignored them. Was the 128 the one with the "sunroof" - a 2ft square piece of pvc that flapped about in the wind when you went more 15 mph? My friend's parents used to own one, and wanted it tidied up before they got shut of it. My ex sprayed it up for them. He was just giving it a quick polish when his thumb went through a rust patch. They were due to collect it in 20 minutes so I stuck a GB sticker over it. It was the only thing holding the cunt together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 23, 2014 Report Share Posted December 23, 2014 I don't mind at all if my spouse wants to buy me a new car for christmas. I've got him a pair of wellies and he can think himself fucking lucky. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
White Cunt Posted December 23, 2014 Report Share Posted December 23, 2014 I think we are pointing the gun at the wrong person here. We should file for a divorce for NOT GETTING A FUCKING CAR. I need a new car and have to go out, earn the money and then buy the cunt myself. And PAY for it too. AND I am prepared to offer a lot of sex in return. Still no fucking luck. Now I am going to sit in the corner and sulk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest KuntaCunty Posted December 23, 2014 Report Share Posted December 23, 2014 I think we are pointing the gun at the wrong person here. We should file for a divorce for NOT GETTING A FUCKING CAR. I need a new car and have to go out, earn the money and then buy the cunt myself. And PAY for it too. AND I am prepared to offer a lot of sex in return. Still no fucking luck. Now I am going to sit in the corner and sulk. Not much point sulking here, we'll just tell you to fuck off, kill yourself, or both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 25, 2014 Report Share Posted December 25, 2014 I'd like to marry a paranoid Schizophrenic. Then I would buy her a 4x4 with bull bars for Christmas. Finally I'd tell her Frank had been watching her and wanted to steal her knickers. Finally I'd disclose his location, and lie back and watch as she ran over his greasy, kebab munching head.... Buying a car for your spouse ain't so bad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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