Dame Joan Collins

[Guest]

Fuck off.

[Guest ducunti]

I always preferred her sister, the lesser sibling always seems so much more game.

[Cuntybaws]

What was that old joke? You can only get three bowling bowls in Joan Collins?

She had a threesome with Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy in "The City On The Edge of Forever", but they edited that out before transmission.

[Guest]

I wrote a part for her in my film, where she had to chew on my piles while I tongued her log flume. Fuckin cunt didn't even turn up for the audition at my house. There's a load of cunts at Joan Collins and they need sorting out.

[nocti]

I wrote a part for her in my film, where she had to chew on my piles while I tongued her log flume. Fuckin cunt didn't even turn up for the audition at my house. There's a load of cunts at Joan Collins and they need sorting out.

 

Any chance of a butchers at this screenplay? It sounds right up my boulevard, if you will.

[Guest]

Any chance of a butchers at this screenplay? It sounds right up my boulevard, if you will.

 

You're welcome Nocto. There's this great scene where Elton John pops out for a fag, Rick Mayall is in the fire grate and Portuguese police dig up the garden 

[Guest ducunti]

You're welcome Nocto. There's this great scene where Elton John pops out for a fag, Rick Mayall is in the fire grate and Portuguese police dig up the garden 

 

You edited out the Pippa Middleton gangbang scene then?

[scotty]

I loved that line in the stud when she waltzed into her boyfriends flat, whips off her skirt to reveal stockings and suspenders and says "I've got 15 minutes tony, I'm late for the hairdressers." He says "christ, I'm not a machine," and she smiles and replies "in the meantime, you'll do."

[Guest]

You edited out the Pippa Middleton gangbang scene then?

 

One of the dwarves actually died during filming, so I thought it would be in bad taste.

[Guest]

I see the knives are out for this Dave Whelan but let's look at the time line. He makes a colloquial reference to a Chinese restaurant  in the Jewish Telegraph. A bit naughty but no problem, no complaints (certainly not from jews), nothing. Time goes by. He then makes a colloquial reference to jews, and all hell brakes loose. The BBC put sport correspondent  David Ornstein on the case.

[Guest]

What was that old joke? You can only get three bowling bowls in Joan Collins?

She had a threesome with Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy in "The City On The Edge of Forever", but they edited that out before transmission.

The old joke was 'What's the difference between Joan Collins and a Kit Kat...you can only get four fingers in a Kit Kat !'

[scotty]

The old joke was 'What's the difference between Joan Collins and a Kit Kat...you can only get four fingers in a Kit Kat !'

I'd stick a finger in her minge, soppy old romantic that I am.

Where the fuck have you been, soles? I thought you'd died.

[Cuntybaws]

The old joke was 'What's the difference between Joan Collins and a Kit Kat...you can only get four fingers in a Kit Kat !'

Joan is in bed with her latest beau.

"Stick in a finger", she says. "Now 2 fingers... 3.... 4..... In fact, stick in your whole hand." In it goes.

"Now stick in your other hand!", she commands. So he does,

"Oh yes, that's good", she moans. "Now clap your hands."

"Er, I can't, sorry!", he says.

"Yes, I am tight, amn't I?"

[scotty]

Joan is in bed with her latest beau.
"Stick in a finger", she says. "Now 2 fingers... 3.... 4..... In fact, stick in your whole hand." In it goes.
"Now stick in your other hand!", she commands. So he does,
"Oh yes, that's good", she moans. "Now clap your hands."
"Er, I can't, sorry!", he says.
"Yes, I am tight, amn't I?"

Joan was in a bar with a couple of her showbiz friends. One of them boasts she can get three fingers in her fanny, and proceeds to demonstrate. The next one says "that's nothing, I can get my whole fist in...." and shows them.

Joan just smiled, and slid down over the barstool.

[Guest]

I'd stick a finger in her minge, soppy old romantic that I am.

Where the fuck have you been, soles? I thought you'd died.

Cunting is a time consuming occupation, sadly I have very little time left to consume.

[cuntspotter]

Cunting is a time consuming occupation, sadly I have very little time left to consume.

Sorry to hear that, Solers. If you find yourself pressed for time, open the window and shout "cunt" at random passers by. It relieves the tension .

[Guest]

Don't want to listen to an 81 old cunt that her neither lips are still that of a young woman.

[Decimus]

Fuck off.

There's only room for one dame on the corner, eh, Frank? Fuck off, Jazz.

[Guest judgetwi]

I see the knives are out for this Dave Whelan but let's look at the time line. He makes a colloquial reference to a Chinese restaurant  in the Jewish Telegraph. A bit naughty but no problem, no complaints (certainly not from jews), nothing. Time goes by. He then makes a colloquial reference to jews, and all hell brakes loose. The BBC put sport correspondent  David Ornstein on the case.

Give it a rest you one trick pony. What the fuck has this got to do with Joan Collins you wanker? 

[Guest]

Give it a rest you one trick pony. What the fuck has this got to do with Joan Collins you wanker? 

 

Someone needs to keep a vigil Judy, just like you watch out for me.

[Guest ducunti]

Someone needs to keep a vigil Judy, just like you watch out for me.

 

Was David Ornstein once Joan Collins paperboy?

[Guest]

Was David Ornstein once Joan Collins paperboy?

 

I think that was Jim Rosenthal DC.

[Guest judgetwi]

Someone needs to keep a vigil Judy, just like you watch out for me.

Point taken Herr Oberst.......er........except i am right and you are just a cunt.

[Guest Patroller]

Point taken Herr Oberst.......er........except i am right and you are just a cunt.

What is this stuff about Rat being slightly right wing?

[Guest]

What is this stuff about Rat being slightly right wing?

 

I got banned from Stormfront for my 'extremist' views and judge thinks this is cause for concern. I received a very warm welcome at my local branch of DFS last Sunday.