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Musicians who can't play


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I am normally not the one to criticise. But to the band I was subjected to last night: You fucking arseholes were terrible. I don't have to like you but it helps if you could all pick up one key and stick to it together. I'll rather listen to my bathroom ventilation hum.

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Guest nobgobbler

Don't you love it when the only one on stage who knows what he's doing gives the rest of them the death stare?

That's usually me. It happens when the drummer thinks he's the star so he turns his amp up. Lead guitar thinks he's the star so he turns his amp up. Keyboard player thinks he's the star so he turns his amp up and so on. They all KNOW I'm the star! Bunch a cunts.
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You fucking arseholes......  what a great name for a band!

 

All they know is "give us the money and we'll fuck off and stick it up our nose and shag birds, preferably porn stars"

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Guest KuntaCunty

The bunch of cunts is a good band name.
Chocolate starfish and the barking spiders was a name mooted by our drummer once.

 

Fucking brilliant!  Such creativity and imagination!  

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Names Kenneth. We want names. Just so we can cunt them off properly.

Milli Vanilli were cunts.

 

 The Pigeon Detectives, I set my Friends on Fire, Hot Leg, Towers of London are on my puke list. I can add 50 more.

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Guest nobgobbler

'Keyboard Player??????'

 

What the fuck is this shit. It'll be cocking saxophones next and you know where that leads? Ian Anderson hopping about like a spastic toad, with a fucking FLUTE, that's where!

When I was about 6 our music teacher at school always made us sit through his version of peter and the wolf on flute. It scared the shit out of me. Gave me nightmares the cunt.

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When I was about 6 our music teacher at school always made us sit through his version of peter and the wolf on flute. It scared the shit out of me. Gave me nightmares the cunt.


I frequently regale members of the public in my local library with impromptu performances of Brecht, Schopenhauer and Wagner , on air triangle. The Police Are occasionally called.
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Guest Alfie Noakes

I always thought Ostio Pirosis would be a good replacement act for when Demis Roussos cannot turn up.
(I know it isn't spelled like that before you pedants pull me up on it).

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I frequently regale members of the public in my local library with impromptu performances of Brecht, Schopenhauer and Wagner , on air triangle. The Police Are occasionally called.

 

People are emotionally breaking down after some magnificent performance?

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Guest nobgobbler

I frequently regale members of the public in my local library with impromptu performances of Brecht, Schopenhauer and Wagner , on air triangle. The Police Are occasionally called.

Try farting Beethoven's 9th symphony they'll love it.
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