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Auctioneer speak


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Guest MikeD
Posted

'Who'll give me 100, BRRRR, 200,BRRRR, 300 BRRRR.'

What the fuck is that all about?

I'd be scared to buy anything fro these cunts, fuck knows what you'd end up with.

Ridiculous bastards.

Guest Bill Stickers
Posted

I commend you on trying to create a novel nom. It is better than going full circle like other posters on here, and resorting to the most tired subject matter possible, such as thinly veiled racism and the way people park their cars.

Auctioneers are known for speaking like this, it is "their thing". If you don't like it, I suggest you continue purchasing soiled underwear and David Icke DVDs on eBay.

How regularly do you frequent an auction house anyway? No doubt not as often as PunkApe (although it's not quite the same when it is him buying his meagre possessions back from a police seized goods auction). 

Posted

I commend you on trying to create a novel nom. It is better than going full circle like other posters on here, and resorting to the most tired subject matter possible, such as thinly veiled racism and the way people park their cars.

Auctioneers are known for speaking like this, it is "their thing". If you don't like it, I suggest you continue purchasing soiled underwear and David Icke DVDs on eBay.

How regularly do you frequent an auction house anyway? No doubt not as often as PunkApe (although it's not quite the same when it is him buying his meagre possessions back from a police seized goods auction). 

BRRRR smuggy BRRRRRR cunt BRRRRRR. Shit. 

  • Like 1
Guest MikeD
Posted

You commend me then have a bit of a go.

Are you a milder version of Frank? He usually just gets stuck in with the insults.

I know it's "their thing". Like a lot of noms we know exactly what it is but just don't like it and slag it off, I thought that was the idea of the site.

Guest Bill Stickers
Posted

Are you a milder version of Frank? He usually just gets stuck in with the insults.

This is probably the most offensive thing anyone has said to me on this site.

I don't think I'm anything like that fucking dick-nipple.

If anything, I have tendancies to waffle a bit, as my dear chum Frank regularly lets me know, whereas Frank struggles to string 4 words together before going back to wanking over more face fucking videos on PornHub.

But, on the plus side, I do actually say something with my posts, rather than just churning out moronic one-liners even Lee Evans wouldn't use. 

Guest MikeD
Posted

True enough, I suppose people can handle being called pretty much anything but when you're compared to that tedious, one-trick pony cunt it's time to get the lawyers....or the shotgun.

Anyway, on with the show......

Posted (edited)

True enough, I suppose people can handle being called pretty much anything but when you're compared to that tedious, one-trick pony cunt it's time to get the lawyers....or the shotgun.

Anyway, on with the show......

BRRRRRRRR BRR  BRR.. in the room. 

Edited by Felipe
added a BRR
Guest MikeD
Posted

I thought you had to raise your hand. Were you bent over? That's asking for fucking trouble.

Guest nobgobbler
Posted

I went to an auction once, scratched my arse and bought a Ruebens for 8 million. Thank god that toilet window was wide enough for me to get out of.

You could have made more use of that pony and trap loitering beneath the window Gyps, for a quick get away with painting without paying for it. :)

Guest nobgobbler
Posted

If you've seen the american auction programmes you'll know they are the worst. 100-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD. 200-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD. 300-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD.

Guest nobgobbler
Posted

Are you sure you weren't watching Bill & Ben the Flowerpot Men, gobbler?

You're thinking DIBLOB FLOBALOB. The gardener was a cunt, coz when he was on his way back from having his dinner, you knew that was the end of the show. 

Guest Snatch
Posted

If you've seen the american auction programmes you'll know they are the worst. 100-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD. 200-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD. 300-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD.

Thanks Nobbers,nearly spat my tea all over the screen laughing at that.

Posted

Post-selling or claiming race auctions at the racecourse are the best kind.

"Here's a right fucking minger who won the race because basically, he's the least cowardly and useless of a bunch of the worst racehorses you'll see this side of a bag of Tesco's minced 'beef'. Out of a Galileo mare and by Storm Cat, he should have been a fucking world beater - then again so should I and I'm piss-useless too. If this cunt ever wins again - fuck it, if it ever decides to put in a shift at a racecourse in the rest of its ill-begotten, miserable life - it'll be the most piss-my-pants surprising thing that has happened since my Granny got her tit caught in a mangle. Who'll start the bidding off at a bag of balloons and a small lead pencil?"

Posted

If you've seen the american auction programmes you'll know they are the worst. 100-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD. 200-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD. 300-AAR-BIBBLEY-BOBBLEY-BIBBLEY-BOBBEDY-BIDDERBY-BUD.

Heard this on radio 2 this morning,made me think of you cunts.After listening to this I think i'd rather ram broken bottles into my ears than go through it again

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaVTxiPBJgM

Guest DingTheRioja
Posted

Post-selling or claiming race auctions at the racecourse are the best kind.

"Here's a right fucking minger who won the race because basically, he's the least cowardly and useless of a bunch of the worst racehorses you'll see this side of a bag of Tesco's minced 'beef'. Out of a Galileo mare and by Storm Cat, he should have been a fucking world beater - then again so should I and I'm piss-useless too. If this cunt ever wins again - fuck it, if it ever decides to put in a shift at a racecourse in the rest of its ill-begotten, miserable life - it'll be the most piss-my-pants surprising thing that has happened since my Granny got her tit caught in a mangle. Who'll start the bidding off at a bag of balloons and a small lead pencil?"

No balloons, but I'll pay the small lead pencil... just found one in the street...

Oh, only if it comes with free livery..or an industrial size mincer and some prepaid boxes to France..??

Guest nobgobbler
Posted

Post-selling or claiming race auctions at the racecourse are the best kind.

"Here's a right fucking minger who won the race because basically, he's the least cowardly and useless of a bunch of the worst racehorses you'll see this side of a bag of Tesco's minced 'beef'. Out of a Galileo mare and by Storm Cat, he should have been a fucking world beater - then again so should I and I'm piss-useless too. If this cunt ever wins again - fuck it, if it ever decides to put in a shift at a racecourse in the rest of its ill-begotten, miserable life - it'll be the most piss-my-pants surprising thing that has happened since my Granny got her tit caught in a mangle. Who'll start the bidding off at a bag of balloons and a small lead pencil?"

And now for the CC race meet. In the 3.30 at Chepstow we have:

PERMENANTLY BANNED by JAZZ out of LIVES

CALL ME PHILLIPE by FRANK out of INSULTS

BILLY LIAR by PUNKAPE out of TRUTH SERUM

SHIT MYSELF AGAIN by STICKERS out of IMMODIUM

SILVER MY PALM by GYPPO out of PEGS

BAN THE LOT O YA by ROOPS out of PATIENCE

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS by SPOT out of FRY PAN

 

 

 

 

 

Posted

And now for the CC race meet. In the 3.30 at Chepstow we have:

PERMENANTLY BANNED by JAZZ out of LIVES

CALL ME PHILLIPE by FRANK out of INSULTS

BILLY LIAR by PUNKAPE out of TRUTH SERUM

SHIT MYSELF AGAIN by STICKERS out of IMMODIUM

CROSS MY PALM WITH SILVER by GYPPO out of PEGS

BAN THE LOT O YA by ROOPS out of PATIENCE

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS by SPOT out of FRYUP

 

 

 

 

Bunch of geldings, the lot of 'em!

Guest DingTheRioja
Posted

And now for the CC race meet. In the 3.30 at Chepstow we have:

PERMENANTLY BANNED by JAZZ out of LIVES

CALL ME PHILLIPE by FRANK out of INSULTS

BILLY LIAR by PUNKAPE out of TRUTH SERUM

SHIT MYSELF AGAIN by STICKERS out of IMMODIUM

CROSS MY PALM WITH SILVER by GYPPO out of PEGS

BAN THE LOT O YA by ROOPS out of PATIENCE

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS by SPOT out of FRYUP

 

 

 

 

Lying cunt, Gypo is never out of pegs...

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