Guest JackoTC Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Surfaced at 4.03 this morning. Sun is shining. Already washed my car. Is it too early for a Bacardi Breezer (Orange juice substitute) livener to go with this nourishing Embassy No 1 ? I think not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 (edited) As long as you administer it to yourself by smashing it over your head and stabbing yourself in the throat with the neck end. Then if you would be so kind as to 'Brian Harvey' yourself with your car, that would be greatGood morning you cunt Edited June 25, 2015 by Gurt early Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 As long as you administer it to yourself by smashing it over your head and stabbing yourself in the throat with the neck end.Good morning you cuntA fond good morning to you too. I hope you receive these warm greetings in advance of a home gas explosion interrupting your morning coffee, by blasting your legs off and maiming your loved ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 ....and what is it with old people and getting up at stupid o'clock?Mum sends me texts at 5.00 in the morning. She's one of these ageing bohemian types that can't just go and develop a dodgy hip and neck wintergreen for the rest of her natural borns. Oh no! She's embracing technology with a passion and doing the whole Dylan Thomas 'do not go gently into that good night (Night!!?? Ha! That's a bloody laugh! She has no concept of 'night') thing.It's driving me fucking nuts!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Its the early risers who boast about it that piss me off. "You got up at 8:00? Id done half a days work by then".Yes that's why you like somebody who hasn't slept for fucking days; look 10 years older and is always ill you fucking twat. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colonelkurtz Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 once had the misfortune to share workspace with one of the happy hand clappy chappy types , who without fail early every morning [and I'm talking 0845 fucking early here !] would breeze in with "gooood mornin all and how are we all this fine day etc etc " ... . you could almost touch the collective " go fuck yourself " sighs around the room. The cunts never take the hint though and give it a rest ...i reckon he used to go home each night and drown a few kittens while listening to bauhaus 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 As long as you administer it to yourself by smashing it over your head and stabbing yourself in the throat with the neck end. Then if you would be so kind as to 'Brian Harvey' yourself with your car, that would be greatGood morning you cuntA fond good morning to you too. I hope you receive these warm greetings in advance of a home gas explosion interrupting your morning coffee, by blasting your legs off and maiming your loved ones.Get a fucking room, you two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Unsure about this... Firstly I doubt that spacko is allowed out of sight of his team of carers lest he injure himself or innocent members of the public and I am pretty sure that no hotel chains offer a wipe clean cage for gurning, incontinent head-rocking morons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 ....and what is it with old people and getting up at stupid o'clock?Mum sends me texts at 5.00 in the morning. She's one of these ageing bohemian types that can't just go and develop a dodgy hip and neck wintergreen for the rest of her natural borns. Oh no! She's embracing technology with a passion and doing the whole Dylan Thomas 'do not go gently into that good night (Night!!?? Ha! That's a bloody laugh! She has no concept of 'night') thing.It's driving me fucking nuts!!!I bought my mum Sky+ for her birthday and it took her ages to be convinced that when her next door neighbour who has it, decides to freeze coronation street to have a shit, it doesn't mean that she has to look at Diedre Barlow's neck muscles in freeze frame for the duration of said shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Its the early risers who boast about it that piss me off. "You got up at 8:00? Id done half a days work by then".Yes that's why you like somebody who hasn't slept for fucking days; look 10 years older and is always ill you fucking twat.Very true, gypps. Youve just described me to a T, the only inaccurate words there being " is always ill". I have discovered the perfect antidote to illness, thinking about patenting it. Gone through 35 solid years of work with just two days off because of sickness/infirmity. One of those was having my wisdom teeth hacked out under GA, and the other was when I fucked up my back in the course of duty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Very true, gypps. Youve just described me to a T, the only inaccurate words there being " is always ill". I have discovered the perfect antidote to illness, thinking about patenting it. Gone through 35 solid years of work with just two days off because of sickness/infirmity. One of those was having my wisdom teeth hacked out under GA, and the other was when I fucked up my back in the course of duty.When I was nursing I was always feeling rough due to lack of sleep, especially after coming home at 7am after a 12 hour shift. You never ever get used to shift work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Fucking hate people like this Jacko.Similar to the type of people who spend their whole existence telling you how fucking busy they are with work and a load of other old, boring bollocks.Perhaps if you stopped telling me, and everyone else, how fucking busy you are all the time, you'd get more done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Fucking hate people like this Jacko.Similar to the type of people who spend their whole existence telling you how fucking busy they are with work and a load of other old, boring bollocks.Perhaps if you stopped telling me, and everyone else, how fucking busy you are all the time, you'd get more done. I used to work with hundreds of those cunts, Civil Fucking Service.... all bandwaggon cunts onto the next big thing (ie sucking some MP's chocolate starfish dry) and "oh I don't know how I'll get all this done by Friday"... You won't, you cunt, YOU won't do fookall by Friday, everyone else will do the work for you, then you'll claim all the credit whilest saying "oh don't mention it Minister", and I'll be tearing my fucking hair out thinking you're the cunt that got the fucking PRP when no-fucking-one fucking else fucking did... CUNT!..and don't get me started on Civil Service PRP shit.. what a fucking abortion of a scam that was.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 I work for a builder like this,He's never fucking heard of a volume button.Silly o'fucking clock he's like Timmy Mallet on speed,"Goooood morning men,how are we on this glorious day" etc etc all at a pitch that would shatter windows better than a blitz re-enactment.Does my fuckin' nut in,I'd like to ram a 5 metre 4" x 2" generously scattered with rusty nails right up his stench trench,the noisy happy fucking cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 Fucking hate people like this Jacko.Similar to the type of people who spend their whole existence telling you how fucking busy they are with work and a load of other old, boring bollocks.Perhaps if you stopped telling me, and everyone else, how fucking busy you are all the time, you'd get more done. I know this cunt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 I am an early riser, up round 4am usually. However, this is due to my life being blighted by 3 children aged 4. 3 and 1. Those couple of hours in the morning are the only time I really get to myself and I fucking cherish them. The rest of my time is filled with work and Mrs Bom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 once had the misfortune to share workspace with one of the happy hand clappy chappy types , who without fail early every morning [and I'm talking 0845 fucking early here !] would breeze in with "gooood mornin all and how are we all this fine day etc etc " ... . you could almost touch the collective " go fuck yourself " sighs around the room. The cunts never take the hint though and give it a rest ...i reckon he used to go home each night and drown a few kittens while listening to bauhausProbably got adhd and OCD. He probably has to switch the light on and off 6 times before he enters a room and goes from his front door to his gate and back 47 times before he leaves. You should pity the poor fucker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 I know this cuntFuck. I thought you'd died. I'd had a celebratory wake and everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted June 25, 2015 Report Share Posted June 25, 2015 I know this cunt Fuck. I thought you'd died. I'd had a celebratory wake and everything.Don't fight, boys. You both entered this site in a blaze of homoerotic glory, the back and forth banter was music to my ears after months of endless clip art from Jazz,and repetitive catchphrases from Frank. You need to recapture that early magic lads, its not the same around here without it. I often dream of you both doing a duet to "I know him so well" from Chess, Stickers with a contemplative scowl on his face, as Fats gazes at him adoringly, full of naive adulation. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 Cunty Mornin' all.Who left the gate open at the cunt farm, and let this braying moron in? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 Don't fight, boys. You both entered this site in a blaze of homoerotic glory, the back and forth banter was music to my ears after months of endless clip art from Jazz,and repetitive catchphrases from Frank. You need to recapture that early magic lads, its not the same around here without it. I often dream of you both doing a duet to "I know him so well" from Chess, Stickers with a contemplative scowl on his face, as Fats gazes at him adoringly, full of naive adulation. stickers,I didn't realise you cared Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 I'd had a celebratory wake and everything.I take it the word I've highlighted isn't a spelling mistake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Fatty Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 I take it the word I've highlighted isn't a spelling mistake.I'm just off for a cheeky wake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ape™️ Posted June 26, 2015 Report Share Posted June 26, 2015 I'm just off for a cheeky wakeFucking waker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 Surfaced at 4.03 this morning. Sun is shining. Already washed my car. Is it too early for a Bacardi Breezer (Orange juice substitute) livener to go with this nourishing Embassy No 1 ? I think not.Breakfast of champions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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