Cunts that move next-door to gig venues and pubs and then petition the council over noise

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Used to work in a pub years ago that had been in the town since the 16th century. Some silly little cunt moves in next door and starts complaining about the noise of the bottles going into the Grundons in the bin yard, requesting that the pub's licensing hours are restricted.

Countless gig venues up and down the country are also similarly under threat. Doesn't matter that they have provided entertainment for thousands of people over several decades, because some prick has moved in round the corner and doesn't like the gentle thud of music disrupting him at 10.30 at night.

These people should be told in no uncertain terms to fuck right off.

[nocti]

The Jailhouse, a venue not too far from me, suffered a similar fate around 7-8 years ago, due to exactly the same fucking problem. I used to love going to gigs there, and even put a few on myself back in the day. 

This actually reminds me of a story I read about not long ago, where people were moving into houses near a theme park, then complaining to local authorities and the park itself about the noise. Now, call me a bit old-fashioned, but if I didn't like the sound of theme park rides, and the people screaming on them, a definite prerequisite for me buying a house would be for it not to be located right next to a cunting theme park.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

The Jailhouse, a venue not too far from me, suffered a similar fate around 7-8 years ago, due to exactly the same fucking problem. I used to love going to gigs there, and even put a few on myself back in the day. 

Hereford lad are ya?

Got a good friend from up your way, he kept telling me to go for a night out there, but alas...

[nocti]

Hereford lad are ya?
Got a good friend from up your way, he kept telling me to go for a night out there, but alas...

Not from there, but not very far from it either! 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Perhaps a commune in the arctic circle would suit them and benefit the hard done by, hungry polar bears.

No doubt they would complain about the alarming and thoroughly unexpected presence of the polar bears, and petition the United Nations to cull them.

[Eddie]

It is the same for those that live near a major airport. Fucking 747's skimming over their chimney the past 40 years and idiots complain about the noise when some wanker wants another runway opened. Why move to Hounslow in the first place, even without the airport it is an open sewer. Also my village is less than half a mile from Chelmsford race course. Recently the owners have put on music gigs with up to 9000 punters attending. Wankers in the village moan about the noise on the village facebook page, but when some cunt reminds them that the site lay unused for 5 years and some greedy wanker wanted to build 1000 homes on it they were against that too. Perhaps a commune in the arctic circle would suit them and benefit the hard done by, hungry polar bears.

bang on, house prices are lower around major airports especially if you are directly under the flight path. When these cunts are looking at their bargain house, do they not notice the aircraft overhead every 30 seconds? Or is it only become apparent after you have bought the shit hole ?

[Cuntybaws]

If I bought a house next door to the Playboy Mansion you sure as fuck wouldn't hear me complaining, no matter how many busty, scantily-clad nymphomaniacs turned up at my door in the small hours to borrow a cup of sugar.

 

No doubt they would complain about the alarming and thoroughly unexpected presence of the polar bears, and petition the United Nations to cull them.

That gives me another thinly veiled excuse to trot out one of my favourite jokes:

Q. What do you get if you cross an Eton schoolboy with a polar bear?

A. A polar bear.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

No doubt they would complain about the alarming and thoroughly unexpected presence of the polar bears, and petition the United Nations to cull them.

Somebody should step up for the polar bears and petition to have the chavvy new cunts on the ice float made fair game!  It's only fair, everybody should have a voice!  

[Guest Snatch]

How many of these moaning cunts have teenage kids that drive around in cars with 6000  million watts of shite music blaring out?

Probably not many at all if any thinking about it,bit you get my meaning.

[Guest deebom]

I lived in Hounslow, went to school there, never paid the slightest bit of attention to the planes. They just become part of the backround noise.

What really is some weapons grade cuntishness, is some people who live near schools complain about the noise. They need their hats nailing to their heads.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I lived in Hounslow, went to school there, never paid the slightest bit of attention to the planes. They just become part of the backround noise.

What really is some weapons grade cuntishness, is some people who live near schools complain about the noise. They need their hats nailing to their heads.

A mate of mine moved right next to a school in London. The playground is tiny and the kids are packed in like sardines. As a result, they have to stagger the break times continuously throughout the day. Pretty much 8 hours non-stop of screaming children. 

He didn't realise this when he signed the tenancy.

We all think it's fucking hilarious because, like all my mates, he's a complete and utter cunt.

[camberwell gypsy]

What about that Swedish bloke who bought a house in South Africa? Well the shit hit the fan big time. A load of black guys were gonna fight these white blokes in his garden, he got drunk started complaining so they put him and his daughter in a horse and carriage and fucked him off. Anyway all these black blokes turned up with spears and a big fight happened and in the end the black guys ran off. Well apparently this happened a lot and yet still thisO berk bought this house. I mean how fucking stupid can you get. I saw it last week. Cant remember what the documentary was called but it was good. One of the white blokes looked like Micheal Caine but without the specs.

Edited July 20, 2015 by camberwell gypsy

[Cuntybaws]

What about that Swedish bloke who bought a house in South Africa? Well the shit hit the fan big time. A load of black guys were gonna fight these white blokes in his garden, he got drunk started complaining so they put him and his daughter in a horse and carriage and fucked him off. Anyway all these black blokes turned up with spears and a big fight happened and in the end the black guys ran off. Well apparently this happened a lot and yet still thisO berk bought this house. I mean how fucking stupid can you get. I saw it last week. Cant remember what the documentary was called but it was good. One of the white blokes looked like Micheal Caine but without the specs.

The sentries report Zulus to the south west. Thousands of 'em.

[camberwell gypsy]

The sentries report Zulus to the south west. Thousands of 'em.

That's right. This gang were called The Zulus. But these white blokes were hard bastards. They even started singing.

[nocti]

That's right. This gang were called The Zulus. But these white blokes were hard bastards. They even started singing.

Are you getting this mixed up with West Side Story? 

[Guest nobgobbler]

Are you getting this mixed up with West Side Story? 

O-o-o-oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plain. 

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

What about that Swedish bloke who bought a house in South Africa? Well the shit hit the fan big time. A load of black guys were gonna fight these white blokes in his garden, he got drunk started complaining so they put him and his daughter in a horse and carriage and fucked him off. Anyway all these black blokes turned up with spears and a big fight happened and in the end the black guys ran off. Well apparently this happened a lot and yet still thisO berk bought this house. I mean how fucking stupid can you get. I saw it last week. Cant remember what the documentary was called but it was good. One of the white blokes looked like Micheal Caine but without the specs.

I think the same outcome can be achieved by letting the fucking frogs across the water to set fire to a load of tyres

[cuntspotter]

Are you getting this mixed up with West Side Story? 

Were there Zulus in West Side Story? I thought they were Puerto Ricans.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

I think the same outcome can be achieved by letting the fucking frogs across the water to set fire to a load of tyres

If anything should be set a blaze, there are far too many council flats and bedsits taking up valuable land space.  They're all overrun by utter cunts.  

[Guest deebom]

What about that Swedish bloke who bought a house in South Africa? Well the shit hit the fan big time. A load of black guys were gonna fight these white blokes in his garden, he got drunk started complaining so they put him and his daughter in a horse and carriage and fucked him off. Anyway all these black blokes turned up with spears and a big fight happened and in the end the black guys ran off. Well apparently this happened a lot and yet still thisO berk bought this house. I mean how fucking stupid can you get. I saw it last week. Cant remember what the documentary was called but it was good. One of the white blokes looked like Micheal Caine but without the specs.

I saw this, it wasn't South Africa, it was Lewisham.

[Guest Snatch]

Were there Zulus in West Side Story? I thought they were Puerto Ricans.

It's all multi-culti these days.

[Cuntybaws]

Were there Zulus in West Side Story? I thought they were Puerto Ricans.

Dunno, they all look the same to me.

Is this the thread for racist sausages?

[Guest Bill Stickers]

If anything should be set a blaze, there are far too many council flats and bedsits taking up valuable land space.  They're all overrun by utter cunts.  

Yawn.

At least PunkApe was an invented character. You're just a cliché of a cliché.

You've made a fair number of posts, but I can't for the life of me recall any of them being genuinely witty. This suggests to me that you make up the numbers on this site, and it would be best for all concerned if you fucked off for good.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Dunno, they all look the same to me.

Is this the thread for racist sausages?

Racism's rife Bawsy. A friend of mine has got a racist dog. He has to avoid visiting me with his dog at the same time as my black friends coz the little fucker tries to bite them. And my black angel fish eats all the other fish in the tank including its own babies. It must be one of those Zulu canibal types.

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

Yawn.

At least PunkApe was an invented character. You're just a cliché of a cliché.

You've made a fair number of posts, but I can't for the life of me recall any of them being genuinely witty. This suggests to me that you make up the numbers on this site, and it would be best for all concerned if you fucked off for good.

You aim your bilious abuse and opinion first at me and now Wizardsleeve. Do you have an unhealthy interest in FGM?