Decimus Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 Wetherspoons food was originally designed with the sophisticated pallette of the hardened alcoholic in mind. Problem drinkers don't give a fuck about complex, aromatic herbal masking. All they want is a microwave curry hot enough to burn some feeling back into their sad, empty lives. With the proliferation of cookery shows on every channel you switch on, there is sadly now a subsection of society which has turned into clones of Hugh Fearnley fucking Cuntingshall. Unfortunately though, the majority of these idiots are nowhere near wealthy enough to indulge in their new cuntish snobbery, and still end up in the local 'spoons, having conversations like this:"Is the meat ethically sourced? I hope it's been hung for at least 28 days in a lonely wooden shack, high on the Yorkshire moors. Will my fried egg be free range from a corn fed chicken? I sincerly hope that the salad garnish is organic. Above all else it's really important to me that everything I ingest in your establishment is produced locally".Look, you fucking whale worshipping, tree hugging cunt. It's a beer and a burger for four quid. The clue is in the fucking price. You're going to end up with shoe leather in a stale bun with McCains micro chips like the rest of us. Cunts. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
and Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 All 'fast food' joints are cunts, designed for cunts who're too cuntin' lazy to microwave their own festering fridge fungi, fuck 'em! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 "Is the meat ethically sourced? I hope it's been hung for at least 28 days in a lonely wooden shack, high on the Yorkshire moors. Will my fried egg be free range from a corn fed chicken? I sincerly hope that the salad garnish is organic. Above all else it's really important to me that everything I ingest in your establishment is produced locally".Those are important questions to ask if you want to ensure your Chicken Supreme comes with a liberal dollop of Chef's Special Sauce! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 I detest uppity cunts like this who evidently care more about their food than their appearance and liver condition. Wetherspoons shot themselves in the nads a bit when they "upgraded" their aesthetic and changed the menu to the point where they began to (perhaps sarcastically) offer wine suggestions to go with certain meals.I would like satisfyingly crisp and zesty, yet light as a feather and fruity Spanish white Rioja to go with my mixed grill please. Just as long as the pig that my bacon comes from was acorn-fed, the cow was slaughtered with a katana, and the chicken that laid the egg had free range of a twelve acre field, just so I can enjoy it once you've blitzed all fuck out of it in a microwave to the point where it begins to transcend matter.Bring it on a roof tile too. None of that peasant plate bollocks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 In a similar vein, I'm sick of hearing everyone bang on about how they only eat free-range chickens, then hear them talking the next minute about a "cheeky Nandos" (a phrase only uttered by complete cunts).There's no fucking way the chicken is free range at Nandos, when they bang them out at such a velocity, and the cunts would only complain about the cost if they did start stocking free range birds. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 There was a shit indian restaurant in Orpington high street that offered two meals for the price of one. The local pikeys loved it, until the health inspector shut it down as unfinished meals were scrapped back into a pot and reissued to the next cunt after a chicken vindaloo. Shortly after it was set on fire, we laughed at the pikeys quick justice. However as the restaurant was as empty as a friends reunion arranged by judge, the smart money was on an insurance job. Long story short, pay peanuts, expect shit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 In a similar vein, I'm sick of hearing everyone bang on about how they only eat free-range chickens, then hear them talking the next minute about a "cheeky Nandos" (a phrase only uttered by complete cunts).There's no fucking way the chicken is free range at Nandos, when they bang them out at such a velocity, and the cunts would only complain about the cost if they did start stocking free range birds.Cheeky Nandos, isn't he a homosexual prostitute from the dock area? How did I know that? Ermm.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 Cheeky Nandos, isn't he a homosexual prostitute from the dock area? How did I know that? Ermm..........didn't have you down as a homo, think back, did the judge tell you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 didn't have you down as a homo, think back, did the judge tell you?Come to the think of it, I think he might have done. ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted July 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 didn't have you down as a homo, think back, did the judge tell you?He whispered it to him through a rusty edged glory hole in a Camden toilet. Judge is a sort of Delphic oracle around those parts. The locals flock there to receive wisdom and answers to life's biggest questions. Problem is, the solution to their woes is always the same- "Stick your Cock through the glory hole, weary traveller, and all your troubles shall depart come dawn". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 There's no fucking way the chicken is free range at Nandos, when they bang them out at such a velocity, and the cunts would only complain about the cost if they did start stocking free range birds.It's just fucking semantics for soft-minded liberals. "High density floor confinement" doesn't sound nearly so good.http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2508173/16-000-free-range-chickens-crammed-shed-NEVER-daylight.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 So let me get this right. Weatherspoons don't do a pint and a burger for a fiver anymore? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 26, 2015 Report Share Posted July 26, 2015 So let me get this right. Weatherspoons don't do a pint and a burger for a fiver anymore?I'll check in the morning db, let you know around 8am. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 I'll check in the morning db, let you know around 8am. yes they do, although the noise this dirt bag next to me eating his burger with his mouth open is putting me off my 6th stella of the moring. Uncouth cunt. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 yes they do, although the noise this dirt bag next to me eating his burger with his mouth open is putting me off my 6th stella of the moring. Uncouth cunt.Get me a stowford press in eddie, I'll be there in 15 minutes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 There simply is no getting around the poison processed shite being stocked on retail shelves. The best chance for a conscientious cunt to get healthy foods is to deal directly with farmers. If you want good meat, you go straight to a farmer, negotiate a deal for however much meat and cuts you desire, and have the butcher provide it fresh. Same for fruits, veg and other necessities. Want fresh butter, churn it from farm supplied cream and plain old salt. Want good veg, without a trip to the farm, fucking grow it yourself. When people learn these skills of providing for themselves, the cunts in seats of power that provide the shit, will have to come up with a brand new way to bugger the population. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eddie Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Get me a stowford press in eddie, I'll be there in 15 minutes.Get me a stowford press in eddie, I'll be there in 15 minutes.stowford press is for yuppies, I have smuggled in a 4 pack of 'K', i will put one aside for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 Wetherspoons food was originally designed with the sophisticated pallette of the hardened alcoholic in mind. Problem drinkers don't give a fuck about complex, aromatic herbal masking. All they want is a microwave curry hot enough to burn some feeling back into their sad, empty lives. With the proliferation of cookery shows on every channel you switch on, there is sadly now a subsection of society which has turned into clones of Hugh Fearnley fucking Cuntingshall. Unfortunately though, the majority of these idiots are nowhere near wealthy enough to indulge in their new cuntish snobbery, and still end up in the local 'spoons, having conversations like this:"Is the meat ethically sourced? I hope it's been hung for at least 28 days in a lonely wooden shack, high on the Yorkshire moors. Will my fried egg be free range from a corn fed chicken? I sincerly hope that the salad garnish is organic. Above all else it's really important to me that everything I ingest in your establishment is produced locally".Look, you fucking whale worshipping, tree hugging cunt. It's a beer and a burger for four quid. The clue is in the fucking price. You're going to end up with shoe leather in a stale bun with McCains micro chips like the rest of us. Cunts.I had a sirloin steak in a Weatherspoons that was so fucking tough you could have used it as an emergency spare. But I was hungry and didn't give a fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest judgetwi Posted July 27, 2015 Report Share Posted July 27, 2015 A fucking excellent nom. I am sick and tired of hearing cunts slagging off Wetherspoons. It is what it is , as our American friends say. They have done their market research and know the demographic they are aiming for. The booze is cheap and the food is designed to soak it all up and, the most important thing, there is no crappy fucking "music" doing your fucking head in. Yes, you get a few pisshead cunts in there but take a look in the mirror you wanker. I'll never forget the time in the Spoons at Victoria Station when some posh cunt ordered 2 bottles of champagne and insisted on two ice buckets. When he got that he then complained that the glasses weren't chilled! What a fucking wanker! If you want champagne in chilled glasses and gourmet food then fuck off to the Cafe Royal and pay the going rate you tight fisted up-your-own-arse fucking cheapskate cocksucking prick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 A fucking excellent nom. I am sick and tired of hearing cunts slagging off Wetherspoons. It is what it is , as our American friends say. They have done their market research and know the demographic they are aiming for. The booze is cheap and the food is designed to soak it all up and, the most important thing, there is no crappy fucking "music" doing your fucking head in. Yes, you get a few pisshead cunts in there but take a look in the mirror you wanker. I'll never forget the time in the Spoons at Victoria Station when some posh cunt ordered 2 bottles of champagne and insisted on two ice buckets. When he got that he then complained that the glasses weren't chilled! What a fucking wanker! If you want champagne in chilled glasses and gourmet food then fuck off to the Cafe Royal and pay the going rate you tight fisted up-your-own-arse fucking cheapskate cocksucking prick.Don't be shy, Judge, you don't need to sugar coat your feelings about anything for our benefit. Tell us what you really think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 A fucking excellent nom. I am sick and tired of hearing cunts slagging off Wetherspoons. It is what it is , as our American friends say. They have done their market research and know the demographic they are aiming for. The booze is cheap and the food is designed to soak it all up and, the most important thing, there is no crappy fucking "music" doing your fucking head in. Yes, you get a few pisshead cunts in there but take a look in the mirror you wanker. I'll never forget the time in the Spoons at Victoria Station when some posh cunt ordered 2 bottles of champagne and insisted on two ice buckets. When he got that he then complained that the glasses weren't chilled! What a fucking wanker! If you want champagne in chilled glasses and gourmet food then fuck off to the Cafe Royal and pay the going rate you tight fisted up-your-own-arse fucking cheapskate cocksucking prick.Absolutely. Nothing wrong with wetherspoons, cheap booze, no music, free WiFi.... I have their pubfinder app on the mobile, always go to a spoons if there's one nearby. And contrary to other opinions, I've always found their food ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/deep-inside-the-chain-pub-piss-dungeon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gong Farmer Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 Wetherspoon's clientele have a lot to be desired. Just sayin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/deep-inside-the-chain-pub-piss-dungeonFucking hell! The piss-drinking cunt will have saved a fortune by getting his Fosters straight from the source.You don't happen to know if there is a kebab shop next door to this establishment? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nocti Posted July 28, 2015 Report Share Posted July 28, 2015 You don't happen to know if there is a kebab shop next door to this establishment?Most probably one with a dungeon full of shit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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