Things Ain't What They Used To Be.............And Probably Never Were

[Guest judgetwi]

Imagine my delight , a few months ago, when i discovered a Freeview channel showing old episodes of "Bonanza" and "High Chaparall". Oh joy! Oh, what wonderful programmes they were. That was real telly, not the fucking shit you get these days. You come home from football with your Dad (Gawd rest his soul) on a Saturday and have your "tea" (very working class) watching the Cartwrights righting the wrongs in the Old West. Then, on Sunday afternoon, while enjoying your Mum's roast dinner (Gawd rest her eternal, nobody makes Yorkshire Pud like that, soul) you watch The Cannon family spreading their American liberal values all over Arizona, the only cunts in the 1870's who loved the fucking Apaches. Fucking brilliant! Imagine my disappointment then to find, after half a dozen episodes, that it was all a load of soap opera shit. Laughable drama and tension and even more pathetic attempts at humour. Fucking Bonanza! I have travelled across Nevada a couple of times  and i don't remember all that cardboard cut out scenery and plastic Cactii the cheapskate cunts. Yes Chaparall went to the expense of outside camera shots but therein lies a much bigger disappointment. I seem to remember Miss Victoria as one of the early deposits in my first wankbank. Fuck me, it turns out that she was a flat chested, moany old money grabbing bitch. I don't know how Big John put up with her. I would have kicked her skinny arse back to Mexico. And then there is the obvious latent homosexual relationship between Uncle Buck and Manolito. Ok, i was only a kid but i feel stupid because i didn't notice the obvious brain washing by the Hollywood gay mafia. Bunch of cunts! Isn't it bad enough getting old in this fucked up world without some cunt coming along and kicking the shit out of your childhood delusions? For fucks sake i hope some bastard doesn't repeat " Callan". Now that was fucking quality..........er.............trust me.

[Ape™️]

Fascinating.

[Eddie]

There is some truth behind the judges rant, I watched Salem's Lot as a child and shat myself for years afterwards, the film was terrifying. Watched it on line a few months ago and the only horrific part was david soul's acting...

[cuntspotter]

Imagine my delight , a few months ago, when i discovered a Freeview channel showing old episodes of "Bonanza" and "High Chaparall". Oh joy! Oh, what wonderful programmes they were. That was real telly, not the fucking shit you get these days. You come home from football with your Dad (Gawd rest his soul) on a Saturday and have your "tea" (very working class) watching the Cartwrights righting the wrongs in the Old West. Then, on Sunday afternoon, while enjoying your Mum's roast dinner (Gawd rest her eternal, nobody makes Yorkshire Pud like that, soul) you watch The Cannon family spreading their American liberal values all over Arizona, the only cunts in the 1870's who loved the fucking Apaches. Fucking brilliant! Imagine my disappointment then to find, after half a dozen episodes, that it was all a load of soap opera shit. Laughable drama and tension and even more pathetic attempts at humour. Fucking Bonanza! I have travelled across Nevada a couple of times  and i don't remember all that cardboard cut out scenery and plastic Cactii the cheapskate cunts. Yes Chaparall went to the expense of outside camera shots but therein lies a much bigger disappointment. I seem to remember Miss Victoria as one of the early deposits in my first wankbank. Fuck me, it turns out that she was a flat chested, moany old money grabbing bitch. I don't know how Big John put up with her. I would have kicked her skinny arse back to Mexico. And then there is the obvious latent homosexual relationship between Uncle Buck and Manolito. Ok, i was only a kid but i feel stupid because i didn't notice the obvious brain washing by the Hollywood gay mafia. Bunch of cunts! Isn't it bad enough getting old in this fucked up world without some cunt coming along and kicking the shit out of your childhood delusions? For fucks sake i hope some bastard doesn't repeat " Callan". Now that was fucking quality..........er.............trust me.

You can be Callan..... I'll be "Lonely", er..... Hello Mr Callan.

[Cuntybaws]

Indeed. I wish I'd never watched any of the digitally remastered original Star Trek episodes - supposedly conceived as a sort of "Wagon Train" to the stars, but what a load of old pony! Could Mr Sulu have been any camper?

Now, if it's authentic American drama you're after I can heartily recommend "Banshee". Lots of lovable Injuns leavened with some quaint Amish people, and absolutely no gratuitous sex and violence at all. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

It's true.

I tried knocking one out to Postman Pat again the other day and it just didn't cut the mustard.

 

[Guest nobgobbler]

Voyage to the bottom of the sea was one of my favourites when I was a kid. All that leaning to one side when the toy sub was wrestled by a plastic octopus is so last year.

[Jiggerycock]

What about 'The Virginian' - or 'The Virgin - Ian' as it may as well be called for all the plot, drama, acting and overall ennui created by this load of horse piss.

Doug McClure and Lee Majors were cunts (although Majors redeemed himself a bit in the Six Million Dollar Man')

[Guest luke swarm]

Imagine my delight , a few months ago, when i discovered a Freeview channel showing old episodes of "Bonanza" and "High Chaparall". Oh joy! Oh, what wonderful programmes they were. That was real telly, not the fucking shit you get these days. You come home from football with your Dad (Gawd rest his soul) on a Saturday and have your "tea" (very working class) watching the Cartwrights righting the wrongs in the Old West. Then, on Sunday afternoon, while enjoying your Mum's roast dinner (Gawd rest her eternal, nobody makes Yorkshire Pud like that, soul) you watch The Cannon family spreading their American liberal values all over Arizona, the only cunts in the 1870's who loved the fucking Apaches. Fucking brilliant! Imagine my disappointment then to find, after half a dozen episodes, that it was all a load of soap opera shit. Laughable drama and tension and even more pathetic attempts at humour. Fucking Bonanza! I have travelled across Nevada a couple of times  and i don't remember all that cardboard cut out scenery and plastic Cactii the cheapskate cunts. Yes Chaparall went to the expense of outside camera shots but therein lies a much bigger disappointment. I seem to remember Miss Victoria as one of the early deposits in my first wankbank. Fuck me, it turns out that she was a flat chested, moany old money grabbing bitch. I don't know how Big John put up with her. I would have kicked her skinny arse back to Mexico. And then there is the obvious latent homosexual relationship between Uncle Buck and Manolito. Ok, i was only a kid but i feel stupid because i didn't notice the obvious brain washing by the Hollywood gay mafia. Bunch of cunts! Isn't it bad enough getting old in this fucked up world without some cunt coming along and kicking the shit out of your childhood delusions? For fucks sake i hope some bastard doesn't repeat " Callan". Now that was fucking quality..........er.............trust me.

The one that really Floated my Boat was that 'Wilma' out of buck rogers....the sight of her in those shiny tight trousers really was teenage wet dream material.....bedeebedee   

[Guest Gong Farmer]

Voyage to the bottom of the sea was one of my favourites when I was a kid. All that leaning to one side when the toy sub was wrestled by a plastic octopus is so last year.

The Time Tunnel's on YT. Just waiting for someone to up load Land of the Giants, it probably won't happen so I might have to up load my box set myself.

[Guest nobgobbler]

The Time Tunnel's on YT. Just waiting for someone to up load Land of the Giants, it probably won't happen so I might have to up load my box set myself.

I'd pay good money for land of the giants box set. Fitzroy was a cunt.

[Guest Gong Farmer]

Indeed. I wish I'd never watched any of the digitally remastered original Star Trek episodes - supposedly conceived as a sort of "Wagon Train" to the stars, but what a load of old pony! Could Mr Sulu have been any camper?

Now, if it's authentic American drama you're after I can heartily recommend "Banshee". Lots of lovable Injuns leavened with some quaint Amish people, and absolutely no gratuitous sex and violence at all. 

Michelle Nichols is responsible for many a lad's first stiffy. I watched all the original Star Trek series on YT a few months ago just for Michelle Nicols's leg, she stiff induces the same effect on old lads years later. PC Star Trek Next Generation was a load of shite with not a mini skirt in sight.

I'd pay good money for land of the giants box set. Fitzroy was a cunt.

It's quite a funky looking box set, so nice that I haven't even opened it yet. Ordered it and then found it on YT. That makes me more of a cunt than Fitzroy ever was.

[Guest nobgobbler]

We're all cunts on here Gong.

[Guest Gong Farmer]

We're all cunts on here Gong.

I've ascertained that that applies to some more than others on here.

[scotty]

Bilko was recently released as a full box set, every episode. Now there is a programme which has stood the test of time. 

[Ape™️]

Bilko was recently released as a full box set, every episode. Now there is a programme which has stood the test of time. 

I'm sorely tempted to buy the box set of Monkey that I've recently found on Amazon. Tripitaka was a cunt.

[Cuntybaws]

I'm sorely tempted to buy the box set of Monkey that I've recently found on Amazon. Tripitaka was a cunt.

Judging by this picture of Masako Natsume, who played Tripitaka, I'd say the "cunt" part is not in any question! If this doesn't tempt Fender back out of retirement for some nunsploitation, I don't know what will.

[Guest judgetwi]

You can be Callan..... I'll be "Lonely", er..... Hello Mr Callan.

From memory my favourite Lonely line.........."You don't want to mess about with Mr. Callan.....e's really 'ard 'e is."  Callan's best line......"cor , don't you ever take a bath....no wonder they call you Lonely." Is there a box set of Callan.? I fucking hope not. I'm bound to waste my money on it and it turns out to be a pile of old shit. There's no need to seek out disappointments, they come to you with unrelenting regularity.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Judging by this picture of Masako Natsume, who played Tripitaka, I'd say the "cunt" part is not in any question! If this doesn't tempt Fender back out of retirement for some nunsploitation, I don't know what will.

Fender does bring a unique flair to the Corner.  Where is the old geezer?