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Vodka connoisseurs


Guest Bill Stickers

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Guest Bill Stickers

Who the fuck do these people think they are fooling, spending hundreds on bottles on this paint stripper shit.  Anyone who claims they drink for the taste is a fucking cretin who will also own a ridiculously expensive watch and doesn't ever get laid.

Sure, I can just about tell the difference between knock-off Glens vodka from the corner shop and "ten-times filtered, distilled in a rare Persian cat's arsehole" Belveder or Grey Goose... but the latter still tastes like utter arseshag!

I only drink the horrific stuff to forget about all the harrowing things I've seen and heard on this site anway.

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A further example of the infantilisation of booze I'm afraid.

Time was it was beer - and bitter at that, none of this lager shite - or whiskey and sweet sherry for the ladies. Possibly a snowball at Christmas (that's the boozy drink not the exotic sexual practise you sick fucks,keep your mind on the thread!) and some nastspewmanti at weddings.

Now you've got this neo-jism like Wkd - alcopops, that's what they're called - to feed the nations endless need for sugar and grown men thinking it's acceptable to drink Vodka and Red Bull (for when you want to be a violent, misogynistic prick and stay up all night inflicting your millimetre thick personality on whatever poor sap you can corral into a corner and berate all night with your ill-informed worthless opinions).

Toffee-flavoured Vodka, of course....

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Guest Bill Stickers

Yeah - or fucking Pulled Pork, which seems to be getting everywhere all of a sudden

Every chain pub in the country seems to think this stuff is the most incredible foodstuff we should all be eating.

The reality is that 99% of pubs are probably serving you reconstituted pig eyelids and gooches.

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Guest luke swarm

Every chain pub in the country seems to think this stuff is the most incredible foodstuff we should all be eating.

The reality is that 99% of pubs are probably serving you reconstituted pig eyelids and gooches.

mmm love saveloys

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Guest Gong Farmer

It's easy nowadays to convince an already brain dead dumbed down populous that something cheap and nasty like Vodka is something desirable and a must have. Go ahead and knock yourselves out with it, you stupefied tepid donkey's wank.

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It's easy nowadays to convince an already brain dead dumbed down populous that something cheap and nasty like Vodka is something desirable and a must have. Go ahead and knock yourselves out with it, you stupefied tepid donkey's wank.

They reached the nadir of this one with Poncy Water (WATER for Jesus somersaulting Christ's sake!!).

Yep!   Adams Ale.   H20.

Who knew you could fuck with that? Well, the bastard lovechild of the marketing weasels and the brick-thick public, eager for the next thing to be 'better than everyone else' about, did, the slimy toads.

Gitty Vodka sounds like the Ceiling of the Sistine Chappel compared with fucking around with bloody, bleeding, effing Water!

Edited by Jiggerycock
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Guest DingTheRioja

Yeah - or fucking Pulled Pork, which seems to be getting everywhere all of a sudden

I keep seeing this on menus, what in the name of sodomy is it? Did they wank the pig off before killing it, or what??

Happy pigs give better tasting, er, meat...

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Guest Snatch
.

Gitty Vodka sounds like the Ceiling of the Sistine Chappel compared with fucking around with bloody, bleeding, effing Water!

Are you saying it's like comparing The Beatles to Rolf Harris.

Or something.

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Guest deebom

Expensive Vodka really does have no flavour, is easily drunk and gets you hammered in a good way. Leaves no hangover either. If you like drinking, an expensive Vodka will result in a good night.

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Guest Drew P Pissflaps

Yeah - or fucking Pulled Pork, which seems to be getting everywhere all of a sudden

I thought pulled pork was a euphemism for the chef has added his special sauce. Hence, I have never actually requested this dish.

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Guest DrCunt

Take one 2.5l winchester of HPLC grade Ethanol, mix in a punch bowl with 2.5l of Milli-Q water and voila! The best vodka known to mankind  for a night never to be remembered. It's also totally free when 'borrowed' from the ICP-MS  lab!

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Guest Wizardsleeve

I keep seeing this on menus, what in the name of sodomy is it? Did they wank the pig off before killing it, or what??

It's a term used in yank cuisine for meat taken off a piece of "bbq'd" pork. It is literally pulled off instead of sliced. It does make a rather tasty sarnie if it's done correctly. 

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Take one 2.5l winchester of HPLC grade Ethanol, mix in a punch bowl with 2.5l of Milli-Q water and voila! The best vodka known to mankind  for a night never to be remembered. It's also totally free when 'borrowed' from the ICP-MS  lab!

I definitely need to choose my friends more carefully.  This is the sort of cunt I should be mingling with. 

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A prerequisite of working in a lab is being psychopath material. If you want to wake up sawn in half and stitched to some other fuckers abdomen then go on the piss with Dr. Cunt 

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Guest JackoTC

A few of the older heads on here will tell you that I am no stranger to a light ale or two. And I have to say, whilst not being a vodka connoisseur, I know a decent one from a nasty one. A good Smirnoff Blue for about £35 is much better than your standard £15- £20 bottles, smoother to drink, and.....the big difference ?? - the hangover. Its no where near as bad with better quality booze.

And anything in a Samuel Smiths Pub (are there many still around ?), is the lowest quality shitty alcohol around. Have a night on that and see how you feel next day. I guarantee it will be a prize cunt of a hangover.

Having said that, if its wet I'll fucking guzzle it anyway. I'm no stranger to white cider, Buckfast and various other nasties. Sometimes mixed together. 

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A few of the older heads on here will tell you that I am no stranger to a light ale or two. And I have to say, whilst not being a vodka connoisseur, I know a decent one from a nasty one. A good Smirnoff Blue for about £35 is much better than your standard £15- £20 bottles, smoother to drink, and.....the big difference ?? - the hangover. Its no where near as bad with better quality booze.

And anything in a Samuel Smiths Pub (are there many still around ?), is the lowest quality shitty alcohol around. Have a night on that and see how you feel next day. I guarantee it will be a prize cunt of a hangover.

Having said that, if its wet I'll fucking guzzle it anyway. I'm no stranger to white cider, Buckfast and various other nasties. Sometimes mixed together. 

'k' the cider of champions

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After several bad experiences with the cheaper end of the range in my youth (if you've never tried Skoff Vodka, you're one lucky cunt!) I'd been a long-time vodka decliner. However, after several recent trips to Poland I'm well and truly converted. Some are so smooth you'd swear they had no alcohol in them at all, if it wasn't for the incriminating photographs the next day. Dirt fucking cheap too - the zloty exchange rate just keeps getting better.

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Guest luke swarm

'k' the cider of champions

Nonsense Eddie, K is for chavs with no taste buds and a desire to forget their miserable existence.

For the discerning cider drinker it has to be Addlestones Cloudy at 7.5 %......its a full bodied fruity number with a deceptively smooth taste that fools one into thinking it is medium strength. I often only need 3 of these before I am informed that its time to go by Mrs Swarm.....she is prepared to listen to my shite as if she is interested but after 3 or 4 of these I start to get wibbly and incoherent.

Seek it out and give it the taste test....I guarantee that you will be wankered good and proper but make sure all kebab shops in the area are warned beforehand as you will surely make a twat of yourself. Unbelievably its a fairly low key hangover as well.     

As to Vodka...that is a miracle of good marketing over good taste, we have the best whisky in the world in the  UK and I support this home grown industry by getting through large quantities of this golden nectar. A good single malt really has no equal.        

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