Car Scratching Low Life Cunts

[Guest luke swarm]

Usual food shopping trip to Telford Retail park on a Sunday afternoon with the Mrs to stock up for the coming week.

Usually park away from the congested area near to supermarket entrance to avoid cunts slamming car doors or knocking shopping trolleys into my not very flash car. Returned to find someone has keyed the drivers door down to the primer for about 5 inches.

I have murder in my heart and would dearly like to catch and torture the festering lowlife amoebic oxygen thief CUNT who thought this was a good idea. I mean its a fucking 4 year old fiesta not a Porsche, not that it should make any difference.

What the fuck is wrong with some people, what is their model in life for doing cuntish things like this...do they not own cars, I bet the cunt who did it probably does not even remember it now but I have to see it all the time. It  also makes me depressed and sad that we have these inadequate. poundingly dull stupid tossers among us.      

[Eddie]

Hard luck there LS, keying a car should be punishable by castration. However in my youth I did like to visit a kebab shop late at night that was opposite a rather nice Aston Martin garage. I used to amble around the shinny cars reading the spec and price in the window whilst eating the large greasy pile of minced arseholes. On completion I would drunkenly wipe the greasy paper all over the cars as a protest to the super rich and to satisfy my jealousy. Cuntish thing to do, but I can thoroughly recommend it.

[Decimus]

Hard luck there LS, keying a car should be punishable by castration. However in my youth I did used to visit a kebab shop late at night that was opposite a rather nice Aston Martin garage. I used to amble around the shinny cars reading the spec and price in the window whilst eating the large greasy pile of minced arseholes. On completion I would drunkenly wipe the greasy paper all over the cars as a protest to the super rich and to satisfy my jealousy. Cuntish thing to do, but I can thoroughly recommend it.

At least you've grown up. The Judge is still wiping his bellend on the windscreens of the Bedford Rascals parked outside Stavros's. There are hundreds of painters and decorators driving around Bermondsey with the scent of caerphilly floating around their motors.

[Guest luke swarm]

At least you've grown up. The Judge is still wiping his bellend on the windscreens of the Bedford Rascals parked outside Stavros's. There are hundreds of painters and decorators driving around Bermondsey with the scent of caerphilly floating around their motors.

you have got to give up this bee in you bonnet about the Judge, it will burn you up inside and leave you an empty shell Decs....................................................actually no carry on as it is excellent sport and sends our judge into a shuddering spasmodic fit of kebab fuelled rage which illogically, cheers me up. 

Edited September 27, 2015 by luke swarm

[Guest deebom]

The Judge lives in Bermondsey ? I ride through Bermondsey on my to and from work. I'd best watch out...

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Cunts who do this should have their fingers removed in a bacon slicer.

[Guest]

Good nom. Ive had the misfortune of having my car vandalised, and it fucking boiled my piss.

I'm pretty sure car scratchers are an inadequate bunch of dribbling spastics, who should be kicked to death, on the spot.

[camberwell gypsy]

hhave the police fr pop n Usual food shopping trip to Telford Retail park on a Sunday afternoon with the Mrs to stock up for the coming week.

Usually park away from the congested area near to supermarket entrance to avoid cunts slamming car doors or knocking shopping trolleys into my not very flash car. Returned to find someone has keyed the drivers door down to the primer for about 5 inches.

I have murder in my heart and would dearly like to catch and torture the festering lowlife amoebic oxygen thief CUNT who thought this was a good idea. I mean its a fucking 4 year old fiesta not a Porsche, not that it should make any difference.

What the fuck is wrong with some people, what is their model in life for doing cuntish things like this...do they not own cars, I bet the cunt who did it probably does not even remember it now but I have to see it all the time. It  also makes me depressed and sad that we have these inadequate. poundingly dull stupid tossers among us.      

I bet if you ask to look at the centres cctv they'll say its not working but someone steals a pack of wine gums they'll have police force of three counties looking for thief.

[Mrs Roops]

you have got to give up this bee in you bonnet about the Judge, it will burn you up inside and leave you an empty shell Decs....................................................actually no carry on as it is excellent sport and sends our judge into a shuddering spasmodic fit of kebab fuelled rage which illogically, cheers me up. 

Actually, the war of attrition against an individual on every nom whether or not he has contributed is getting tedious. Cease and desist please.

[Ape™️]

Mindless, thick, vile fucking scum cunts. I'd love to see perpetrators of such selfish fucking crimes strapped down and given a going over with an electric planer. Utter, utter scum.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Usual food shopping trip to Telford Retail park on a Sunday afternoon with the Mrs to stock up for the coming week.

Usually park away from the congested area near to supermarket entrance to avoid cunts slamming car doors or knocking shopping trolleys into my not very flash car. Returned to find someone has keyed the drivers door down to the primer for about 5 inches.

I have murder in my heart and would dearly like to catch and torture the festering lowlife amoebic oxygen thief CUNT who thought this was a good idea. I mean its a fucking 4 year old fiesta not a Porsche, not that it should make any difference.

What the fuck is wrong with some people, what is their model in life for doing cuntish things like this...do they not own cars, I bet the cunt who did it probably does not even remember it now but I have to see it all the time. It  also makes me depressed and sad that we have these inadequate. poundingly dull stupid tossers among us.      

It's a sad state of unparalleled cuntery that we aren't allowed to cull these cunts in a manner similar to how Jap whalers carve up a catch. 

Rest assured Swarms, it has happened to the best of us. Sadly, I should remind you that your starfish is only getting teased, as the repair shop now get to take their turn with you. 

[Decimus]

Actually, the war of attrition against an individual on every nom whether or not he has contributed is getting tedious. Cease and desist please.

Fuck it then. If this has turned into a hand wringing, apologist ponce fest then I'm not fucking interested anymore. I could refer you back to Judge's outbursts, where he has called you to task and you have conveniently ignored him because he could make you all look like cunts if he referred back to some of the shit he's sad enough to store as ammunition against you. He's obviously got you in his pocket, to make yourself look like a cunt and lick his arse a bit more. I for one ain't interested, and think you're a fucking disgrace for banning genuinely interesting members, but faggotting out of getting rid of a jumped up, trouble making borefest just because he scares you with big words. So fuck you, fuck administration, and fuck anyone else who's too stupid to see you're too scared to criticise and ban an unpopular, contradicting cunt.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Fuck it then. If this has turned into a hand wringing, apologist ponce fest then I'm not fucking interested anymore. I could refer you back to Judge's outbursts, where he has called you to task and you have conveniently ignored him because he could make you all look like cunts if he referred back to some of the shit he's sad enough to store as ammunition against you. He's obviously got you in his pocket, to make yourself look like a cunt and lick his arse a bit more. I for one ain't interested, and think you're a fucking disgrace for banning genuinely interesting members, but faggotting out of getting rid of a jumped up, trouble making borefest just because he scares you with big words. So fuck you, fuck administration, and fuck anyone else who's too stupid to see you're too scared to criticise and ban an unpopular, contradicting cunt.

Come on Decs, you're better than that. Judge has no life, everybody knows that, his googled vocabulary notwithstanding, he makes no contribution to this site other than attacking every mom made. Just block the cunt and continue slating more relevant twats of this world. Don't give him the satisfaction. 

[Ape™️]

Come on Decs, you're better than that. Judge has no life, everybody knows that, his googled vocabulary notwithstanding, he makes no contribution to this site other than attacking every mom made. Just block the cunt and continue slating more relevant twats of this world. Don't give him the satisfaction. 

Agreed, don't you fucking dare go anywhere Decs - one day that weapons-grade fuckstick Jazz will come back, and you will be needed in the fight of good against unadulterated idiocy. 

[Mrs Roops]

Fuck it then. If this has turned into a hand wringing, apologist ponce fest then I'm not fucking interested anymore. I could refer you back to Judge's outbursts, where he has called you to task and you have conveniently ignored him because he could make you all look like cunts if he referred back to some of the shit he's sad enough to store as ammunition against you. He's obviously got you in his pocket, to make yourself look like a cunt and lick his arse a bit more. I for one ain't interested, and think you're a fucking disgrace for banning genuinely interesting members, but faggotting out of getting rid of a jumped up, trouble making borefest just because he scares you with big words. So fuck you, fuck administration, and fuck anyone else who's too stupid to see you're too scared to criticise and ban an unpopular, contradicting cunt.

Not for the first time you throw a thromby when an Admin/Mod fires a warning shot across your bows. I'm not sure what "ammunition" Judge has against us, be that as it may, he does not have anyone in his pocket. No matter, you won't need your tin-foil hat for the next 72 hours.

[Guest]

You sound exactly like the judge with the "I'm not fucking interested anymore"............is there something we don't know? Twin brother separated at birth? Now crossed paths on cunts reunited? Is he getting all the inheritance?

 

 

 

They're probably batty brothers who have fallen out.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Extraordinary!

To bring this back on topic though, a rather nice chap from down the road rents my garage, because some cunt keyed his car.

I felt sorry for him at first, but it turns out the car he drives a massive 4x4, despite living in the city centre, and he cried when he found out it had been keyed, so now I think he's a little bit of a cunt too.

[Cuntybaws]

I don't condone this behaviour, obviously (although my own collection of early 1980's traffic cones was admittedly leavened with the odd car badge and an occasional wing mirror) but what sort of class warrior targets a fucking Fiesta?

<Punkape> Cars belonging to plebs deserve to be targeted - a jagged scratch is the only thing that gives them any individuality. My Bentley is made of solid gold with an impenetrable diamond shell, so I don't have to worry like the rest of you oiks. </Punkape>

[Jiggerycock]

How do we feel about the yummy mummies that park on the pavement outside my youngest's primary school, forcing the kids to walk on a busy road.

How do we feel about meeting out summary justice to them in the form of a keying down the side of their gas-guzzling HumVee's they deem necessary to port Adam and Jocasta the 500 yards from home to school in?

Well fuck you - they got it anyway!

[White Cunt]

I don't condone this behaviour, obviously (although my own collection of early 1980's traffic cones was admittedly leavened with the odd car badge and an occasional wing mirror) but what sort of class warrior targets a fucking Fiesta?

<Punkape> Cars belonging to plebs deserve to be targeted - a jagged scratch is the only thing that gives them any individuality. My Bentley is made of solid gold with an impenetrable diamond shell, so I don't have to worry like the rest of you oiks. </Punkape>

LOL

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

I don't condone this behaviour, obviously (although my own collection of early 1980's traffic cones was admittedly leavened with the odd car badge and an occasional wing mirror) but what sort of class warrior targets a fucking Fiesta?

<Punkape> Cars belonging to plebs deserve to be targeted - a jagged scratch is the only thing that gives them any individuality. My Bentley is made of solid gold with an impenetrable diamond shell, so I don't have to worry like the rest of you oiks. </Punkape>

Under certain circumstances I think a good keying is justified. Certainly, Jiggers nailed a few, but then you have cunts in Audis parking in disabled bays to protect their beloved cunt mobile, or utter bastards parking their rusted fucking heap over the curb on your lawn rather than their own, which is merely one car length forward....fucking cunts!  I would add that keeping a supply of brake liquid will strip car paint and not be immediately noticed as it seems invisible unless touched, so pour along the top and sides of the target and they'll be faced with a huge repair invoice, and an insurance investigation as to why such a thing happened to them.  The inevitable conclusion of their being a total cunt will result in higher premiums.  

[White Cunt]

Under certain circumstances I think a good keying is justified. Certainly, Jiggers nailed a few, but then you have cunts in Audis parking in disabled bays to protect their beloved cunt mobile, or utter bastards parking their rusted fucking heap over the curb on your lawn rather than their own, which is merely one car length forward....fucking cunts!  I would add that keeping a supply of brake liquid will strip car paint and not be immediately noticed as it seems invisible unless touched, so pour along the top and sides of the target and they'll be faced with a huge repair invoice, and an insurance investigation as to why such a thing happened to them.  The inevitable conclusion of their being a total cunt will result in higher premiums.  

Break fluid you say? If it only made any difference on the three junk pieces from next door, I would utilise your advice immediately. But it would backfire for sure. Cunts would get an insurance pay out and invest it in more shit from charity shops for disposal around their fucking "property".

[nocti]

Under certain circumstances I think a good keying is justified. Certainly, Jiggers nailed a few, but then you have cunts in Audis parking in disabled bays to protect their beloved cunt mobile, or utter bastards parking their rusted fucking heap over the curb on your lawn rather than their own, which is merely one car length forward....fucking cunts!  I would add that keeping a supply of brake liquid will strip car paint and not be immediately noticed as it seems invisible unless touched, so pour along the top and sides of the target and they'll be faced with a huge repair invoice, and an insurance investigation as to why such a thing happened to them.  The inevitable conclusion of their being a total cunt will result in higher premiums.  

I often think that those Audi driving cunts who park in disabled spaces are tapping into some sort of clairvoyant or psychic abilities, subliminally choosing the future places they will need to park in once they inevitably get their fucking shins snapped in for partaking in such bellendricity.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

How do we feel about the yummy mummies that park on the pavement outside my youngest's primary school, forcing the kids to walk on a busy road.

How do we feel about meeting out summary justice to them in the form of a keying down the side of their gas-guzzling HumVee's they deem necessary to port Adam and Jocasta the 500 yards from home to school in?

Well fuck you - they got it anyway!

I think you should have articulated your annoyance to them as a functional human being would?

[Jiggerycock]

I think you should have articulated your annoyance to them as a functional human being would?

I had - both in person, via the school and parish council meetings (see! I can function as a normal member of society with the correct stimulus, drug regime and the love of a good woman!)

But, means justifying ends and all that, they never parked their 4x4's there again.