Feed the Birds......... 5 Pennies a Bag........

[Guest judgetwi]

I understand that some rich people have had a meeting and decided to save the planet by sticking their greedy fucking hands in my pocket to discourage me from throwing plastic bags all over the shop. How fucking thoughtful of them. I have noticed, over the years, the contribution that corporate capitalism has made to the preservation of our environment. How grateful i am that these money grabbing cunts have taken the time to remind a dumb peasant like me of my responsibilities. I would love to meet them, get down on my knees, and kiss their holy feet. Unfortunately they are a bit busy at the moment sailing around the Med., drinking champagne and , generally speaking, spending my fucking money. Fuck me!

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Are you nominating capitalists as cunts, or are you just sniveling that you are not exempt from being fucked over by the bastards?  Cease your whimpering and take it like a man, you twat!  

[Guest luke swarm]

I understand that some rich people have had a meeting and decided to save the planet by sticking their greedy fucking hands in my pocket to discourage me from throwing plastic bags all over the shop. How fucking thoughtful of them. I have noticed, over the years, the contribution that corporate capitalism has made to the preservation of our environment. How grateful i am that these money grabbing cunts have taken the time to remind a dumb peasant like me of my responsibilities. I would love to meet them, get down on my knees, and kiss their holy feet. Unfortunately they are a bit busy at the moment sailing around the Med., drinking champagne and , generally speaking, spending my fucking money. Fuck me!

I thought you spent all your money at Stavros,s kebab emporium, he's not a capitalist surely, just an honest turk trying to make a living serving spiced minced arseholes to connoisseur's of such fare.  

Corporates are not a thinking sentient entity Judge, just a collection of people (shareholders) who are trying to make money, the problem therein lies in people and this incessant drive to keep making more and more money...more and more possessions, the paradox is that no one knows when enough is enough and it seems that the ones who have the most then wish to deny all others of their share.  

Look what's happening in this country and the new laws being proposed.

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

It would seem that dog walkers can pretty much remember to take a bag with them when they venture out so why can't the rest of society. I even treat it as a game and try and cause the most offence by using an Aldi bag for my M&S shopping or an Iceland bag in Fortnum & Masons.

[Eddie]

Are you having a go at the retailers who are forced to charge a minimum of 5p per bag or the government who has forced the issue ?

The retailers now have additional costs as They must record for the whole reporting year:

1. The number of bags supplied

2. The gross and net proceeds of the charge, any VAT in the gross proceeds,

3.What was done with the proceeds from the charge.

4. Getting expert advice administering donations to good causes.

Supermakets dont want to charge, it's more cost than profit , the government don't profit,  charities are the only winner, and of course the environment. Whats not to like ?

 

[Jiggerycock]

Google 'Great Pacific Garbage Patch'

Then understand that the first plastic bag ever made will still be inexistence long after you and I have shuffled off this mortal coil and that maybe 5 pence might just force people to at least consider re-using these toxic death traps.

Save The Sea Turtle, man!

[Cuntybaws]

Rather than spunking away 5p a bag every trip, buy a jute bag for only a few quid. It's green, reusable, and all proceeds go to the Homosexual Dolphin Awareness Society or other such worthy cause. Some of the bigger ones can accommodate up to two items, so you can get lentils and tofu in it simultaneously. Fucking bargain!

Saving the planet, £2.99. Looking like a total dickhead, priceless.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Unfortunately they are a bit busy at the moment sailing around the Med., drinking champagne and , generally speaking, spending my fucking money. Fuck me!

Don't be so rude about Frank, you peasant cunt.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Are you having a go at the retailers who are forced to charge a minimum of 5p per bag or the government who has forced the issue ?

The retailers now have additional costs as They must record for the whole reporting year:

1. The number of bags supplied

2. The gross and net proceeds of the charge, any VAT in the gross proceeds,

3.What was done with the proceeds from the charge.

4. Getting expert advice administering donations to good causes.

Supermakets dont want to charge, it's more cost than profit , the government don't profit,  charities are the only winner, and of course the environment. Whats not to like ?

 

The environment doesn't benefit though Eddie. If I can't re-use the free supermarket bags as bin liners, I will just buy some to do the job. The result is the exact same number of plastic bags going to landfill. Therein lies my theory that it's not about making environmental improvements at all, it's about making you pay for something that you currently get for free. Cunts.

Edited September 29, 2015 by nobgobbler

[Guest Manky]

I have tried to use the "Bags for life" ones for years. I don't like clutter or waste but am not anal about it. Like  Mr Pissflaps, I try and use bags to slullfuck people. As I often go to the shops on my bike, I ase a backpack  Saving the planet? Don't be a cunt. It's just what suits me. The rest of you can do what the fuck you like. I begrudge money going to charity though. I would use it to buy more Reaper drones 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I have tried to use the "Bags for life" ones for years. I don't like clutter or waste but am not anal about it. Like  Mr Pissflaps, I try and use bags to slullfuck people. As I often go to the shops on my bike, I ase a backpack  Saving the planet? Don't be a cunt. It's just what suits me. The rest of you can do what the fuck you like. I begrudge money going to charity though. I would use it to buy more Reaper drones 

Back already after your spectacular "I'm going back to Facebook" prima donna meltdown yesterday?

You'd probably prefer it on Facebook mate - you could share Britain First memes all day instead of straining the brain to come up with original content, and like pictures of your daughter's latest tramp stamp/boob job combo.

[Eddie]

I have tried to use the "Bags for life" ones for years. I don't like clutter or waste but am not anal about it. Like  Mr Pissflaps, I try and use bags to slullfuck people. As I often go to the shops on my bike, I ase a backpack  Saving the planet? Don't be a cunt. It's just what suits me. The rest of you can do what the fuck you like. I begrudge money going to charity though. I would use it to buy more Reaper drones 

going by that rant it is obvious that the only item in your plastic bag is glue 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

going by that rant it is obvious that the only item in your plastic bag is glue 

At Christmas and on his birthdays, he treats himself by adding a bottle of methylated spirits, a tin of Nourishment, and a pack of 100 tea lights to his bag for life.

[Guest Manky]

Facebook is out now. Mark Zuckercunt won't allow certain posts at the request of Dear Angela allegedly. Anyway stickers you cunt. When I am on the Jeremy Kyle show you are having it. Fucking bullying cunt. Picking on poor me all the time. Get one of those 5p bags and stick your fucking head in it

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I liked your post, mostly because ineptitude with the quote function removed any venom from an otherwise moderately funny post.

6/10, would listen again, but requires improvement. 

[Guest Manky]

liked your post, mostly because ineptitude with the quote function removed any venom from an otherwise moderately funny post.

6/10, would listen again, but requires improvement. 

I have to use my mobile at work. The management try to avoid posting things during work time although I suspect they spend all their spare time on "management porn" sites. I am yet to discover what they are so suggestions will be appreciated.

As my mobile is a Nokia3310, it is quite discrete. I prefer my tablet or PC but home is risky for me. Mrs Manky thinks this is a dating site like Ashley Madison or something.

By the wau, my fridge is fucked. The light comes on when you shit the door.i

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I have to use my mobile at work. The management try to avoid posting things during work time although I suspect they spend all their spare time on "management porn" sites. I am yet to discover what they are so suggestions will be appreciated.

As my mobile is a Nokia3310, it is quite discrete. I prefer my tablet or PC but home is risky for me. Mrs Manky thinks this is a dating site like Ashley Madison or something.

By the wau, my fridge is fucked. The light comes on when you shit the door.i

I'll give you a response once the boys at Bletchley Park have finished decoding your message.

I've been keeping them very busy with all the bollocks the young turks on this forum keep posting.

[Guest Manky]

Young turks?  I'm 58 you cunt.   

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Young turks?  I'm 58 you cunt.   

Fuck me! You creaking old dinosaur.

[Eddie]

Young turks?  I'm 58 you cunt.   

that's fucking old for a northener !

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

Does anybody know if Primark will be charging for their bags. (question aimed mainly at Nobgobbler)? I am visually aware that they issue brown paper bags with their merchandise and since this stealth tax is for environmental reasons I would assume it wouldn't apply to paper bags. This is an important issue as I am planning a purchase from the St Augustines Porn Emporium in Norwich shortly (you know this one don't you Dex?) and I don't want to get ripped off for an extra 5p. PLEASE HELP.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

When threy did this shit in Ireland (or NI...) the sales of small bin liners and nappy bags went through the roof... that what everyone was using the free carriers for... and the amount of plastic bags infesting the fences and hedgrows hasn't diminished at all.... waste of fucking time...

 

On a lighter note, Tescos is giving away free Bags for Life... not the hessian ones, but the very strong plastic ones... ones that are eminently suitable for suffocating the cunt who came up with the idea in the first place.. every throttle helps!

[Guest deebom]

As long as I can fit a polar bear into one I don't mind paying 5p.

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

Are you telling me that when I go to poundland to buy a 12 pack of johnnies for the year it's going to cost me 5% more. Fuck it! Celibacy here I cum.

[Guest nobgobbler]

Does anybody know if Primark will be charging for their bags. (question aimed mainly at Nobgobbler)? I am visually aware that they issue brown paper bags with their merchandise and since this stealth tax is for environmental reasons I would assume it wouldn't apply to paper bags. This is an important issue as I am planning a purchase from the St Augustines Porn Emporium in Norwich shortly (you know this one don't you Dex?) and I don't want to get ripped off for an extra 5p. PLEASE HELP.

Fucking cheek! There's no Primark round these parts. However, since I'm in a good mood today, I will spread the joy and make you a man bag re-cycled from squares of newspapers and used sanitary towels. Hope that helps