When you're having a proper good pick of your nose, and then some cunt comes round the corner and surprises you, causing you to lose your bogey and frantically panic that it is on your face somewhere.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

What a cunt!

[Guest nobgobbler]

You are indeed one unfortunate cunt Sticky, from shitting yourself to bogies on your face and whatever in between. What next, pubes in your packed lunch box?

[southerncunt]

Somewhat random Bill, but a good nom none the less.

To be unwittingly festooned with an errant skronky is well up on many peoples lists of things that are a bit not good

A bit like easing out a fart when you are pretty sure you won't be disturbed then some cunt comes in to ask you something.

That is a right cunt too.

[Cuntybaws]

By "picking your nose" do you mean "having a wank"? And by "bogey" do you mean "erection"?

Just asking - don't read anything into it. 

[Guest Bill Stickers]

By "picking your nose" do you mean "having a wank"? And by "bogey" do you mean "erection"?

Just asking - don't read anything into it. 

This kind of smut has no place on the forum. Delete this filth. 

[Guest deebom]

Fuck me Bill, you really are minging. You sure that's not you in your avatar?

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Fuck me Bill, you really are minging. You sure that's not you in your avatar?

So this is going to be another thread where everyone on here pretends to be some kind of high and mighty saint? And cunts on here have the audacity to call me Bullshit Bill! 

"I haven't ever shit myself after a few spliffs and a bottle of vodka". Bullshit!

 "I don't pick my nose and roll them between my fingers when no-ones looking." Bullshit!

What next?!?! Are you cunts going to try and claim you never lash out and toe-punt unsupervised toddlers in the face too!?!

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

I am in the "pick it, lick it, roll it and then flick it" fraternity myself.

Edited September 29, 2015 by Alfie Noakes

[Guest Bill Stickers]

I am in the "pick it, lick it, roll it and then flick it" fraternity myself.

Ah, we have a traditionalist within our ranks!

My favourite bits of snot are what I have termed "brain bogeys". They are the ones that feel, upon first inspection, as if they are very small, hard flakes of snot caked to the inside of the nostril.

However, upon removing it, it turns out it is actually the tip of the proverbial iceberg. It is attached to a much longer, slimier, elastic bogey. The sensation of it being removed feels like, for a brief second, your entire brain is coming out.

You've all done it, you've all felt it.

Fuck off.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

Ah, we have a traditionalist within our ranks!

My favourite bits of snot are what I have termed "brain bogeys". They are the ones that feel, upon first inspection, as if they are very small, hard flakes of snot caked to the inside of the nostril.

However, upon removing it, it turns out it is actually the tip of the proverbial iceberg. It is attached to a much longer, slimier, elastic bogey. The sensation of it being removed feels like, for a brief second, your entire brain is coming out.

You've all done it, you've all felt it.

Fuck off.

Almost get a braingasm when that happens, stretches out like mozarella on a hot pizza.

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

Sounds more like ectoplasm then snot you dirty cunts. This type of descriptive behaviour should be reserved for the public bogs on Hampstead Heath.

[Guest deebom]

So this is going to be another thread where everyone on here pretends to be some kind of high and mighty saint? And cunts on here have the audacity to call me Bullshit Bill! 

"I haven't ever shit myself after a few spliffs and a bottle of vodka". Bullshit!

 "I don't pick my nose and roll them between my fingers when no-ones looking." Bullshit!

What next?!?! Are you cunts going to try and claim you never lash out and toe-punt unsupervised toddlers in the face too!?!

Bit fucking sensitive aren't we Bill? Is it rag week?

[Guest luke swarm]

there is only one acceptable venue for uninterrupted and unobserved nose picking activity.

In the car, where you really see the job thru properly. Flick the dry crispy ones into the passenger well and sticky ones can be deposited under drivers seat. Unwritten law that if you observe driver in car alongside you at traffic lights involved in said activity...discreetly ignore and the same courtesy will be returned. Obviously a no no should there be a passenger aboard.

Sometimes the job just wont wait.   

[Guest Drew P Pissflaps]

Now that Decimus is in the cooler I thought I would mention that I have strong suspicions that he is a musician that is expert in the playing of the pink oboe. 

[cuntspotter]

This kind of smut has no place on the forum. Delete this filth. 

Seems fair enough to me.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Ah, we have a traditionalist within our ranks!

My favourite bits of snot are what I have termed "brain bogeys". They are the ones that feel, upon first inspection, as if they are very small, hard flakes of snot caked to the inside of the nostril.

However, upon removing it, it turns out it is actually the tip of the proverbial iceberg. It is attached to a much longer, slimier, elastic bogey. The sensation of it being removed feels like, for a brief second, your entire brain is coming out.

You've all done it, you've all felt it.

Fuck off.

Nobody can deny this extraordinary experience.  Anybody that says it's never happened to them, or they do not perform nostril clearing routines is a fucking lying cunt.  I had this very experience Saturday night.  My right nostril just felt gobbed up and miserable, so the right index finger went in to investigate.  What it extracted was nothing short of the equivalent of a pregnant woman's mucus plug when her water breaks!  Un-fucking-believable, it was!  After several minutes of rolling between thumb and said index finger, it went from semi-solid/semi-liquid mass, to a colossal pellet sized nose nugget.  Of course, the fascination with the newly found treasure made my poor wife gag in disgust, but the look on her face as she saw the look on mine, priceless!  

[Cuntybaws]

I can't understand why any cunt would eat their own bogeys. Or anyone else's obviously. 

Nor why any dirty, lazy cunt would wipe them on the walls of a toilet cubicle when there's a fucking toilet roll just there! 

[southerncunt]

I can't understand why any cunt would eat their own bogeys. Or anyone else's obviously. 

Nor why any dirty, lazy cunt would wipe them on the walls of a toilet cubicle when there's a fucking toilet roll just there! 

Why the fuck do dirty cunts do that? 

I am sitting in there having a shit, so I am not exactly well placed to comment on cleanliness, but bogeys on walls is just beyond the fucking pail. I expect the bottom of the bog to look like the deck of an aircraft carrier, but the walls should be covered only in graffiti, poorly drawn cartoons and jokes. Not shit mined from some bored filthy cunts beak.

[Guest Bill Stickers]

Nobody can deny this extraordinary experience.  Anybody that says it's never happened to them, or they do not perform nostril clearing routines is a fucking lying cunt.  I had this very experience Saturday night.  My right nostril just felt gobbed up and miserable, so the right index finger went in to investigate.  What it extracted was nothing short of the equivalent of a pregnant woman's mucus plug when her water breaks!  Un-fucking-believable, it was!  After several minutes of rolling between thumb and said index finger, it went from semi-solid/semi-liquid mass, to a colossal pellet sized nose nugget.  Of course, the fascination with the newly found treasure made my poor wife gag in disgust, but the look on her face as she saw the look on mine, priceless!  

I've got a chubby.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

[Guest nobgobbler]

When we were kids I witnessed my niece wiping bogies on my sister's hair and brushing it in. I couldn't stand the cunt even then so it gave me great joy.

[Guest MikeD]

When we were kids I witnessed my niece wiping bogies on my sister's hair and brushing it in. I couldn't stand the cunt even then so it gave me great joy.

Niece or sister you couldn't stand?

[Guest nobgobbler]

Niece or sister you couldn't stand?

Sister. Fucking self centred tree hugging feminist minge muncher. And she drives an Audi. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Sister. Fucking self centred tree hugging feminist minge muncher. And she drives an Audi. 

Fuck me Gobbler, just driving the Audi quantifies her as a massive cunt, the rest, I'm not even certain there is a description for the scope of her cuntishness. How is it possible you turned out to be such an average, mediocre cunt?

[Guest nobgobbler]

Fuck me Gobbler, just driving the Audi quantifies her as a massive cunt, the rest, I'm not even certain there is a description for the scope of her cuntishness. How is it possible you turned out to be such an average, mediocre cunt?

Hard work and perseverance Wiz. And wine.