Jump to content
Donations towards site upkeep will be thankfully received and faithfully applied....

Public Libraries


Guest
 Share

Recommended Posts

So now libraries have gone the same way as the Tesco fucking Express self-service check-outs. Cunts.

It aint my job to book in/out library books in their shitty fucking machines whilst trying to eye up the 23 year old library assistant and scratch my arse at the same time.

Library assistants stamp books in and out - they've done it for years, it's not rocket science and it's not my fucking job.  Get your fingers out of your arse and politely serve me like you're supposed to, you lazy bastards. The fuckers will have us re-stacking the shelves next.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So now libraries have gone the same way as the Tesco fucking Express self-service check-outs. Cunts.

It aint my job to book in/out library books in their shitty fucking machines whilst trying to eye up the 23 year old library assistant and scratch my arse at the same time.

Library assistants stamp books in and out - they've done it for years, it's not rocket science and it's not my fucking job.  Get your fingers out of your arse and politely serve me like you're supposed to, you lazy bastards. The fuckers will have us re-stacking the shelves next.

Ssssssshhhhhhhhhh!

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Conspiracy theorists would have us believe that it is the dumbing down of the nation by closing down free access to knowledge. If you look at the stock in our local library the knowledge contained within is decades out of date. The state does not want us all to move up the ladder of success, knowledge is power after all,  if we did then who would do the menial low paid jobs? You cannot rely on constant immigration to fill those jobs, a lot of migrants these days have better qualifications than your average little Englander. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The judge once made an hilarious posting about a local library that had the copper nicked off the roof ..I think. My local library is still there. Funnily enough, Pontypool public library is a fantastic place......... For Walrus watching.

The put the Police on library roofs where you live?

And I'm not talking about Sting and his mates.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

23 old library assistants? What library have you been going to? The one in the playboy mansion?  

She was possibly younger than that, only I didn't want to come across as a total pervert.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Drew P Pissflaps

And from what I have seen a lot of the books are about using computers like  The Dummies Guide to CuntsCorner, and most have a large selection of PC's for the less fortunate public to use which to me is like a turkey voting for christmas. The computer has closed libraries.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest DingTheRioja

So now libraries have gone the same way as the Tesco fucking Express self-service check-outs. Cunts.

It aint my job to book in/out library books in their shitty fucking machines whilst trying to eye up the 23 year old library assistant and scratch my arse at the same time.

Library assistants stamp books in and out - they've done it for years, it's not rocket science and it's not my fucking job.  Get your fingers out of your arse and politely serve me like you're supposed to, you lazy bastards. The fuckers will have us re-stacking the shelves next.

Those machines intrige me... if tescos cant scan the right thing with a barcode, how come the library machine can get the right books no matter how you stack them in there?

I had to put a book in "The Cupboard" the other day, instead of On The Trolley.... it wasn't a pervy book, but it made me feel like a Special Case having to hide a book....

The judge once made an hilarious posting about a local library that had the copper nicked off the roof ..I think. My local library is still there. Funnily enough, Pontypool public library is a fantastic place......... For Walrus watching.

Roops? You need to take Spooters rights off him for that one for fucks sake...

She was possibly younger than that, only I didn't want to come across as a total pervert.

  1. One of ours is a Yummy Mumsy Mummy about that age.... one of those who really doesn't know she's rather nice...
  2. You could always tell her your a human equivalent to that machine... Sit on me face...I'll guess your weight...
  3. GET OUT OF THE KIDDIES SECTION YOU FUCKING PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those machines intrige me... if tescos cant scan the right thing with a barcode, how come the library machine can get the right books no matter how you stack them in there?

I had to put a book in "The Cupboard" the other day, instead of On The Trolley.... it wasn't a pervy book, but it made me feel like a Special Case having to hide a book....

Roops? You need to take Spooters rights off him for that one for fucks sake...

  1. One of ours is a Yummy Mumsy Mummy about that age.... one of those who really doesn't know she's rather nice...
  2. You could always tell her your a human equivalent to that machine... Sit on me face...I'll guess your weight...
  3. GET OUT OF THE KIDDIES SECTION YOU FUCKING PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!

Bastards, bastards.... You're all bastards!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those bastarding Tesco's self-service (self-serving more like) machines have a lot to answer for.

Their weight sensitivity levels have tolerances that would put the space programme to shame. As if that's not bad enough they actually talk to you "Have you scanned your Clubcard as this can earn you a gazillion points that could buy you a stick of chewing gum if you live and shop with us for another 90 years".

I don't want to be sold to by a robot (which is why I'm not interested in Lewis Hamilton in the Santander advert). So I'm there - a grown man, at high noon in the middle of a busy supermarket - giving the finger to this digital piece of shit that's chatting me up with a voice like a slightly-more-threatening Joanna Lumley,

Then we have the fact that I put something wholly reasonable on the scales - a jar of Vaseline say - and it goes fucking spactard mental with it's "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!!" schtik, yet the ginger kid next to me can put a packet of condoms down and he gets off scot free, I mean where's the fucking justice in that!!?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest DingTheRioja

Then we have the fact that I put something wholly reasonable on the scales - a jar of Vaseline say - and it goes fucking spactard mental with it's "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!!" schtik, yet the ginger kid next to me can put a packet of condoms down and he gets off scot free, I mean where's the fucking justice in that!!?

  1. You too much of a pussy to go to a real person with that vaseline in case the till-girl recognises you...
  2. The poor cunt has enough to contend with as it is, nevermind the shops' IT system going "WOOO WOOO.... NO FUCKING CHANCE GINGA... PUT THEM BACK!!"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those bastarding Tesco's self-service (self-serving more like) machines have a lot to answer for.

Their weight sensitivity levels have tolerances that would put the space programme to shame. As if that's not bad enough they actually talk to you "Have you scanned your Clubcard as this can earn you a gazillion points that could buy you a stick of chewing gum if you live and shop with us for another 90 years".

I don't want to be sold to by a robot (which is why I'm not interested in Lewis Hamilton in the Santander advert). So I'm there - a grown man, at high noon in the middle of a busy supermarket - giving the finger to this digital piece of shit that's chatting me up with a voice like a slightly-more-threatening Joanna Lumley,

Then we have the fact that I put something wholly reasonable on the scales - a jar of Vaseline say - and it goes fucking spactard mental with it's "UNEXPECTED ITEM IN THE BAGGING AREA!!" schtik, yet the ginger kid next to me can put a packet of condoms down and he gets off scot free, I mean where's the fucking justice in that!!?

Question is, what is a grown man buying a jar of Vaseline for?

Edited by Mrs Roops
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...