Guest DrCunt Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 11 hours ago, Jake The Muss said: What i find amazing is Woakes has been dropped, surely it was the batsmen that was fucking up, the England selectors over the last 5 years have been fucking awful, it's common sense that you don't select batsman who average under 40 and some under 35 in first class cricket to play test matches. The clue is there, if they can't get a decent average in first class cricket , then what chance have they got at the top level...No fucking chance.i tell you what fucking chance, no fucking chance...you fucking right mate...Winston was a cunt !! It's clear why Woakes was dropped, Root just doesn't like bowling him. What's the point him being in the team if the captain doesn't utilise him? I agree with @Jiggerycock, I'd have brought Curran in (for Woakes). I'd also have dropped Buttler and pushed Roy down the order, keeping Denly where he was whilst bringing in an opener that can play with a straight bat and knows how to leave the ball. England desperately need an opener that can stay put for 30 or 40 overs, regardless of whether they are scoring runs. Despite being boring as fuck, Tavare would have been perfect for this team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PANZER MURPHY Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 On 31/08/2019 at 01:17, King Billy said: Welsh birds need fucked too Eric. My grandads motto was “Get them all fucked lad and you won’t go far wrong” He died in jail. Laffin bollox off Panzbaby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 48 minutes ago, DrCunt said: It's clear why Woakes was dropped, Root just doesn't like bowling him. What's the point him being in the team if the captain doesn't utilise him? I agree with @Jiggerycock, I'd have brought Curran in (for Woakes). I'd also have dropped Buttler and pushed Roy down the order, keeping Denly where he was whilst bringing in an opener that can play with a straight bat and knows how to leave the ball. England desperately need an opener that can stay put for 30 or 40 overs, regardless of whether they are scoring runs. Despite being boring as fuck, Tavare would have been perfect for this team. Sibley from Warwickshire would be my next cab off the rank when it comes to openers. I'd drop Roy altogether for Test matches - he doesn't heve the temperament or the technique Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 50 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: More perverse sexual references from our resident cricket “expert”. You will never be a member of the MCC. England’s recent great cricket captains went to public schools.You must learn to expect this and deal with it. The MCC? Oh how frightfully plebian - full of jumped up grammar school boys who somehow think they've 'made it' because they get to wear a bacon and eggs tie. In any case, the cricket usually clashes with Henley and I'm not giving up my annual membership of Stewards there for anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 11 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Sibley from Warwickshire would be my next cab off the rank when it comes to openers. I'd drop Roy altogether for Test matches - he doesn't heve the temperament or the technique Not a bad call regarding Sibley. I'm a little torn on Roy. He's clearly extremely talented, but definitely not an opener. I think he's worth a go lower down the order, to see if he can cut it there. If he can find his feet he could be a huge asset to the test team. I have to say I'm now of the opinion that someone else needs to captain the team. Some of the decisions Root makes defy understanding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 Roy has never really cut it in the County Championship for Surrey, no matter where he bats - a quickfire 20 -30, a wild hoick to point or deep square leg and back to the pavilion for crumpets and barley water. Ollie Pope however.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 32 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Roy has never really cut it in the County Championship for Surrey, no matter where he bats - a quickfire 20 -30, a wild hoick to point or deep square leg and back to the pavilion for crumpets and barley water. Ollie Pope however.... I bet you like your crumpet behind the pavilion.....a bit in the rough with a groundsman... lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said: More perverse sexual references from our resident cricket “expert”. You will never be a member of the MCC. England’s recent great cricket captains went to public schools.You must learn to expect this and deal with it. Name them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 7 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: Name them. Strauss (Radley) Cook (Bedford) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 3 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: Strauss (Radley) Cook (Bedford) I mean name great captains. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 9 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: Strauss (Radley) Cook (Bedford) Christ you're fucking thick. Michael Vaughan (with Mike Brearley second) was the best England test captain of the last 50 years. The product of a comprehensive... Stick to taking cock up your arse rather than talking out of it. Fuck off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 3 minutes ago, DrCunt said: Christ you're fucking thick. Michael Vaughan (with Mike Brearley second) was the best England test captain of the last 50 years. The product of a comprehensive... Stick to taking cock up your arse rather than talking out of it. Fuck off. I'd take Brierley over Vaughan as a captain. The Aussies hated him because he psyched them out. So much so that the aussie press bandied around a story that he was a tranny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 45 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: I'd take Brierley over Vaughan as a captain. The Aussies hated him because he psyched them out. So much so that the aussie press bandied around a story that he was a tranny. Only problem with Brearley was, despite being an excellent captain, that the team had to carry him as a player as he was, not to put too fine a point on it, cack. That's why I'd go for Vaughan. Douglas Jardine...now there's a skipper I'd like to have put up against Smith. Unfortunately, also a rather average batsman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 45 minutes ago, DrCunt said: Only problem with Brearley was, despite being an excellent captain, that the team had to carry him as a player as he was, not to put too fine a point on it, cack. That's why I'd go for Vaughan. Douglas Jardine...now there's a skipper I'd like to have put up against Smith. Unfortunately, also a rather average batsman. You cant have bodyline now as they banned having 3 fielders behind leg, after. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 15 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said: You cant have bodyline now as they banned having 3 fielders behind leg, after. I know you meant 3 fielders behind square on the leg side... Whinging fucking convicts. Can't handle a few bumpers. Poofs. It was perfectly legal, whereas using sandpaper on the ball gets a slap on the wrists and reinstated just before The Ashes. A more suitable punishment would have been sandpapering of the balls of the perpetrators, using an industrial belt sander. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said: I bet you like your crumpet behind the pavilion.....a bit in the rough with a groundsman... lol. Have you ever had sex? I mean with a real live sentient consenting human being - not a chair leg or whatever it is you go in for? A 'no' here is clearly the only feasible explanation to the strange syndrome you have, they've run out of acronyms to describe it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 1 minute ago, Jiggerycock said: Have you ever had sex? I mean with a real live sentient consenting human being - not a chair leg or whatever it is you go in for? A 'no' here is clearly the only feasible explanation to the strange syndrome you have, they've run out of acronyms to describe it. Jiggers old bean, if you can class having sex as being violated by some dirty old cunt priest after choir practise in his formative years and latterly being taken up the wrong un' for a fiver a pop at the behest of his Nigerian pimps, the answer to this is a resounding yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 12 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Jiggers old bean, if you can class having sex as being violated by some dirty old cunt priest after choir practise in his formative years and latterly being taken up the wrong un' for a fiver a pop at the behest of his Nigerian pimps, the answer to this is a resounding yes. He does seem very obsessed with the whole idea of putting it in and jiggling it about a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Cuntman Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 43 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: He does seem very obsessed with the whole idea of putting it in and jiggling it about a bit. Peter Duncan put it in and jiggled it a bit in that Flash Gordon film.. These things never end well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 3 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said: I'd take Brierley over Vaughan as a captain. The Aussies hated him because he psyched them out. So much so that the aussie press bandied around a story that he was a tranny. Mike Brierley was public schoolboy too (City of London) then Cambridge University. lol. That was some time ago however. Obviously the better educated make better cricket captains. Lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 2 hours ago, DrCunt said: Only problem with Brearley was, despite being an excellent captain, that the team had to carry him as a player as he was, not to put too fine a point on it, cack. That's why I'd go for Vaughan. Douglas Jardine...now there's a skipper I'd like to have put up against Smith. Unfortunately, also a rather average batsman. Jardine was at Frank’s public school (Winchester) then Oxford. It’s rather obvious that all England cricket captains should always have gone to a public school so that we have a better chance of winning the Ashes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 9 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: Mike Brierley was public schoolboy too (City of London) then Cambridge University. lol. That was some time ago however. Obviously the better educated make better cricket captains. Lol. Remind me which public schools Clive Lloyd and Allan Border went to? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earl of Punkape Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 20 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Remind me which public schools Clive Lloyd and Allan Border went to? I’m referring to England not the Colonies you retarded mollusc. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 2 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Remind me which public schools Clive Lloyd and Allan Border went to? I didn't particularly rate Clive Lloyd as a captain. He just had 4 very fast bowlers who, at the time, could bowl as many bouncers as they liked. I remember reading an interview with Bishen Bedi years ago about their bowlers using bouncers against the Indian tail enders at Sabina Park. He complained to the umpire at the non strikers end who replied "You can go home. I have to live here, maaan"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DrCunt Posted September 4, 2019 Report Share Posted September 4, 2019 8 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said: I’m referring to England not the Colonies you mollusc. Who the fuck is Mike Brierley, you fucking idiot? @Jiggerycock makes a good point. Australia pick the best person for the job, they don't have a bunch of blinkered old school tie prigs favouring someone on the basis of whether their parents paid £50K a year in school fees. Maybe this partly explains why for the last 50 years England have mostly been fucking shite and routinely and frequently battered by the working class oiks you so deride. I'll go even further than this. Most of England's best players in the last 50 years have been talented working class English people with a passion for the game, or foreigners, whereas the vast majority of the public school plonkers you cream your pants over, perhaps with the exception of Cook recently, have been throughly average. Ever heard of Ian Botham? It's very clear that your imaginary high quality, expensive education has done fuck all for your intellect. Moron. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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