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Jamie CUNTFACED CUNTBREED oliver


Jake The Muss

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On 16/05/2020 at 15:32, Marine said:

What’s your fucking problem? I’ll find out who you are from your email address and then you will get hydrochloric acid squirted in your boat.

Yeah? I'll install a special pressure plate package under your mobility scooters seat, packed with 1/2 kilo of plastic explosive peppered with nuts and bolts. You'll look like fucking Swiss cheese.

Keyboard warrior cunt.

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On 17/05/2020 at 22:15, judgetwi said:

 

Oh dear. I fear the “no inter member acrimony “ policy isn’t really working. Nothing to do with me of course, nobody ever slags me off or threatens me with violence. One of the advantages of being nice.

Fuck off, you drunken fool!

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1 hour ago, Major Cunt said:

Yeah? I'll install a special pressure plate package under your mobility scooters seat, packed with 1/2 kilo of plastic explosive peppered with nuts and bolts. You'll look like fucking Swiss cheese.

Keyboard warrior cunt.

It probably is Jamie Oliver. Googled himself and didn't like what he found. 

If it was you Jamie, be aware that everyone thinks you're an irritating mockney cunt. Especially for cursing your kids with such stupid fucking names. 

And what on earth is wrong with your tongue? Every time you speak, it looks like you're trying to tenderise a pound of steak with your lower jaw. Cunt.

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A spot on character assessment of this bloated wanker who's in top position on the Majors irritating cooking cunts section.

If he made the kids healthy but tasty food then I'd say fair play. Apparently there's a lot of food poverty in this country which is sad but Oliver's still a prize cunt.

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10 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

A spot on character assessment of this bloated wanker who's in top position on the Majors irritating cooking cunts section.

If he made the kids healthy but tasty food then I'd say fair play. Apparently there's a lot of food poverty in this country which is sad but Oliver's still a prize cunt.

The only decent telly cook was Keith Floyd. Pissed up, sarcastic and Hilarious. Once described Ramsay and Pierre White as 'little more than cunts'

He also went on the Mrs Merton talk show and was sat next to Melinda Messenger.. she noticed he'd been staring at her fun-bags for some time and asked him if there was something wrong, he replied "Not at all my dear, you interest me strangely"

Legend.

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48 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The only decent telly cook was Keith Floyd. Pissed up, sarcastic and Hilarious. Once described Ramsay and Pierre White as 'little more than cunts'

He also went on the Mrs Merton talk show and was sat next to Melinda Messenger.. she noticed he'd been staring at her fun-bags for some time and asked him if there was something wrong, he replied "Not at all my dear, you interest me strangely"

Legend.

Brilliant. A lot of these chefs try to be clever. Someone (a cunt) in my family gave me a James Martin cookbook as a xmas gift. Now I'm in no doubt these recipes are very nice but to source some of the wildlife for them I'd have to either hire a top notch poacher or learn how to set traps and purchase a fucking 12 bore. I've got a worker cocker spaniel,  but anything I pot with gun the dopy fucker will eat the fucking thing rather than retrieve it. 

Jamie Oliver made his fortune by dragging anything edible out of the fridge, slamming into a pot and give it a silly fucking name. 

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6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Brilliant. A lot of these chefs try to be clever. Someone (a cunt) in my family gave me a James Martin cookbook as a xmas gift. Now I'm in no doubt these recipes are very nice but to source some of the wildlife for them I'd have to either hire a top notch poacher or learn how to set traps and purchase a fucking 12 bore. I've got a worker cocker spaniel,  but anything I pot with gun the dopy fucker will eat the fucking thing rather than retrieve it. 

Jamie Oliver made his fortune by dragging anything edible out of the fridge, slamming into a pot and give it a silly fucking name. 

Gino D'aCampo. Undoubtedly a cunt but what he turns out looks like you'd want to eat it. Not like that cunt Ramsay who slaps two dandelion stalks on top of a raw lamb chop and charges you £75.

As for Heston Bloomincunt, he can fuck right off with his snail porridge and stinging nettles served in a theoretical concept of a lime and walnut atmosphere. 

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31 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Gino D'aCampo. Undoubtedly a cunt but what he turns out looks like you'd want to eat it. Not like that cunt Ramsay who slaps two dandelion stalks on top of a raw lamb chop and charges you £75.

As for Heston Bloomincunt, he can fuck right off with his snail porridge and stinging nettles served in a theoretical concept of a lime and walnut atmosphere. 

At least Delia does the simple stuff like how to poach an egg. Because believe it or not, there are millions of thick cunts who dont know how to poach one. Expecting these cunts to make a beef Wellington is asking for trouble.

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10 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

The only decent telly cook was Keith Floyd. Pissed up, sarcastic and Hilarious. Once described Ramsay and Pierre White as 'little more than cunts'

He also went on the Mrs Merton talk show and was sat next to Melinda Messenger.. she noticed he'd been staring at her fun-bags for some time and asked him if there was something wrong, he replied "Not at all my dear, you interest me strangely"

Legend.

Marvelous. I remember that cunt he was always half cut on wine. As for Melinda I'd definitely let her suck me off.

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18 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It probably is Jamie Oliver. Googled himself and didn't like what he found. 

If it was you Jamie, be aware that everyone thinks you're an irritating mockney cunt. Especially for cursing your kids with such stupid fucking names. 

And what on earth is wrong with your tongue? Every time you speak, it looks like you're trying to tenderise a pound of steak with your lower jaw. Cunt.

His missus is worth a good fanny bashing Eric. I’d make him watch while also cooking me a plate of some shit or other which I’d eat off her back doing her doggy style. I’d probably wipe my dick on his best chefs hat afterwards, before kicking his fucking head in and going for a pint.

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17 minutes ago, King Billy said:

His missus is worth a good fanny bashing Eric. I’d make him watch while also cooking me a plate of some shit or other which I’d eat off her back doing her doggy style. I’d probably wipe my dick on his best chefs hat afterwards, before kicking his fucking head in and going for a pint.

It's her name that's off putting. Reminds me of that paedo looking Schmiegel out of Squeeze.

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3 hours ago, King Billy said:

His missus is worth a good fanny bashing Eric. I’d make him watch while also cooking me a plate of some shit or other which I’d eat off her back doing her doggy style. I’d probably wipe my dick on his best chefs hat afterwards, before kicking his fucking head in and going for a pint.

You golden tongued hussar, you. 

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3 hours ago, King Billy said:

...a plate of some shit or other which I’d eat off her back doing her doggy style.

Reminds me of an old folk song that Billy Connolly used to play:

Ah wis jist a wee bit randy as she lay an' read "The Dandy", then she went an' put a pot upon the hob.

And she made me tagliatelle which she balanced on her belly , so's ah could eat while ah wis on the job. 

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Guest judgetwi
On 18/05/2020 at 13:32, Major Cunt said:

Fuck off, you drunken fool!

Calm down dear. It’s mental elf awareness week. Just take a deep breath..........and hold it there. 

Have you ever thought about transcendental meditation Marje?

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Guest judgetwi
10 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

It’s health not elf you thick cunt.

😁😆😂😭 fucking classic😁😁

Hoist by his own petard!

Hamlet (the play not the cigar poshboy.) 😁😆😁😀😂

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1 hour ago, judgetwi said:

Calm down dear. It’s mental elf awareness week. Just take a deep breath..........and hold it there. 

Have you ever thought about transcendental meditation Marje?

Occasionally, but not enough to buckle a wheelchair. Just remember...

There's always a fucking way, Jewdy.

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