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Cunts That Fucking Stink


Ape™️
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53 minutes ago, scotty said:

....not to mention Sperrings and Tower Records. Them were the days when a chart LP in Woolies cost £3.15, and you could buy their own brand Winfield fishing tackle for next to fuck-all.

Not heard of those beauts, Scotto, but I do have a recollection of a Merrets newsagents. It could've just been a local shit hole in my old stomping ground, or a more widespread chain? What I do know, is that it was the only place I could buy a pack of bang snaps and a tizer for under £1.

Later in life, they were a reliable seller of cigarettes to minors, and the boxes of panini stickers left outside supplied a reliable income of petty cash to support a herbal habit. 

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13 hours ago, Bubba C said:

Not heard of those beauts, Scotto, but I do have a recollection of a Merrets newsagents. It could've just been a local shit hole in my old stomping ground, or a more widespread chain? What I do know, is that it was the only place I could buy a pack of bang snaps and a tizer for under £1.

Later in life, they were a reliable seller of cigarettes to minors, and the boxes of panini stickers left outside supplied a reliable income of petty cash to support a herbal habit. 

Sperrings might have been a local south coast chain as well Bubbles, probably was on reflection, but I can't believe you're unfamiliar with Tower Records even in the depths of Wales. 

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  • 1 year later...
On 26/07/2017 at 14:53, Ape said:

I have to pop into town today to pick up some items of stationary, and so decided to go into W H Smiths. Upon entering I was immediately confronted by an unpleasant odour, but had no idea where or what it was coming from. As I continued round the shop I walked through several pockets of intense aroma, where it really was strong. The smell was a combination of body odour, urine and shit, and it was really starting to make me feel quite sick. Anyway, curiosity prevailed and I decided I must find the source of this vile aroma. Then I saw it. A long haired, bearded, filthy, tracksuit wearing piece of scum, looking like he'd never washed in his entire life. At ground zero the smell was truly unbearable, with people close by visibly horrified by the stench. I left the store as fast as I could, desperate for fresh air. How people get into such a state is beyond me and actually quite sad, since they are clearly unaware of the effect they are having on others. Dirty, smelly fucking cunts.

Fuck off.

Since when did they start putting mirrors in WH Smith??

Wanker. 

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Anyhow, back to the reason for resurrecting this average nom. from a fucking twat. 

Now that the warmer weather is arriving I've noticed the office colleagues with average to downright poor personal hygiene regimes. One in particular fucking hums more than Westlife did on ALL of their most popular songs, collectively. With deodorants available for as little as 60p a can there really is no excuse for smelling like a tramp before you've been to the pub.

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On 26/07/2017 at 14:53, Ape said:

I have to pop into town today to pick up some items of stationary, and so decided to go into W H Smiths. Upon entering I was immediately confronted by an unpleasant odour, but had no idea where or what it was coming from. As I continued round the shop I walked through several pockets of intense aroma, where it really was strong. The smell was a combination of body odour, urine and shit, and it was really starting to make me feel quite sick. Anyway, curiosity prevailed and I decided I must find the source of this vile aroma. Then I saw it. A long haired, bearded, filthy, tracksuit wearing piece of scum, looking like he'd never washed in his entire life. At ground zero the smell was truly unbearable, with people close by visibly horrified by the stench. I left the store as fast as I could, desperate for fresh air. How people get into such a state is beyond me and actually quite sad, since they are clearly unaware of the effect they are having on others. Dirty, smelly fucking cunts.

Fuck off.

That was probably Frank popping out for a copy of 'Cheap bin monthly'

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5 minutes ago, Ape said:

Have you managed to sort the electro-thieves out at Wetherspoons yet? 

Petty, whining fucking idiot.

I was in the 'spoons in Bletchley today and they actually have USB ported power sockets at the high level tables, this I see as an invitation to use the power and therefore acceptable. I personally take exception to the cunts who are sitting on the floor on the way to the bogs because they've plugged their charger into the vacuum cleaner socket just so they can update their FaecesBook profile with the latest toy helicopter they've bought.

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22 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I was in the 'spoons in Bletchley today and they actually have USB ported power sockets at the high level tables, this I see as an invitation to use the power and therefore acceptable. I personally take exception to the cunts who are sitting on the floor on the way to the bogs because they've plugged their charger into the vacuum cleaner socket just so they can update their FaecesBook profile with the latest toy helicopter they've bought.

Absolutely hilarious! It’s no wonder the sycophant snake-sneak gave you a like! 

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43 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I was in the 'spoons in Bletchley today and they actually have USB ported power sockets at the high level tables, this I see as an invitation to use the power and therefore acceptable. I personally take exception to the cunts who are sitting on the floor on the way to the bogs because they've plugged their charger into the vacuum cleaner socket just so they can update their FaecesBook profile with the latest toy helicopter they've bought.

They will soon need a licence to use a radio controlled helicopter and will need to take an online test .. I can't see Ape being able to do the latter.

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  • 9 months later...

Whilst making a rare and infrequent visit to Iceland this morning (their recent Coronavirus outbreak didn't put me off) to purchase some freezer items I found myself standing behind a female of the species (she couldn't be described as a lady or woman) who absolutely ponged of a combination of wet dog and mouldy newspapers. It was fucking disgusting and totally unnecessary when every other cunt is wearing a mask and bathing in alcohol gel. The lazy slag was getting her crispy pancakes, turkey dippers and cider delivered to her shit pit as well.

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When I read the heading I thought this was gonna contain useful information about the bankrupt bint with the inflatable tits so my amusement was sadly suspended.

Anyway, I was in the bank last week (the food bank's on Mondays and Thursdays) and there were a couple of dogs in front of me in the queue.  One was small and had fur, the other was big and fat and had tits she had tucked down her jogging bottoms.  Suddenly the furry one starts jumping up at her crotch area and the other dog says (no kidding) "has mummy got a smelly pussy?".

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52 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Whilst making a rare and infrequent visit to Iceland this morning (their recent Coronavirus outbreak didn't put me off) to purchase some freezer items I found myself standing behind a female of the species (she couldn't be described as a lady or woman) who absolutely ponged of a combination of wet dog and mouldy newspapers. It was fucking disgusting and totally unnecessary when every other cunt is wearing a mask and bathing in alcohol gel. The lazy slag was getting her crispy pancakes, turkey dippers and cider delivered to her shit pit as well.

Listen cunt, Saturday is my 'Dress down day' so mind your own fucking business. 

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16 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Whilst making a rare and infrequent visit to Iceland this morning (their recent Coronavirus outbreak didn't put me off) to purchase some freezer items

Fucking Iceland?! This is priceless!

After making the mistake of confessing that you live in a bungalow, I assumed that you'd exercise a bit of self-control going forward and refrain from revealing any further embarrassing details about your fucking awful life.

In the wake of purchasing your frozen doner meat and chips with a jar of 2ps, did you coax your maggot into a semi-chubby whilst fantasising about Kerry Katona?

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3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Fucking Iceland?! This is priceless!

After making the mistake of confessing that you live in a bungalow, I assumed that you'd exercise a bit of self-control going forward and refrain from revealing any further embarrassing details about your awful life.

After purchasing your frozen doner meat and chips with a jar of 2ps, did you coax your maggot into a semi-chubby over thoughts of Kerry Katona?

When I think of Kerry Katona, it invariably ends up a mish-mash of the Saarlak scene and the bit where Burt Reynolds gets covered in fish guts in 'Cop & A Half'.

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