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Slipping the Mrs one up the wrong un without warning

Alfie Noakes

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So before my celebrated divorce I was doing the Mrs from behind when I accidentally slipped up the wrong hole without warning. As the Mrs was dead against that kind of thing, boring cow, there was absolutely no room or lube in there. My banjo string parted company from my bell end in a most unusual way, it unpeeled itself vertically. My agonised screams and her crying must have been heard over the whole neighbourhood as we got funny looks from everyone for quite some time.

The blood was everywhere and I ruined two tea towels stemming the flow. Needless to say I let it heal itself over the next twelve weeks as our local hospital kills more people with bad practises, filth, horrid food, mrsa and c.difficile than it cures. Needless to say sex was off the cards for that time and a while longer until the separation.

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Guest ducunti

His family life is all make believe from the land of princesses, where the fuck he got the money to pay a high class hooker to role play his step mom I have no idea. Him being on jobseekers it makes me wonder if he blagged some money off the social for a new fridge.

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