Cunty BigBollox Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 1 hour ago, ProfB said: I live in Norfolk. My home is haunted too - by a friendly 👻 . Oh fuck off. I believe the ghost bit, but a fucking pain in the arse like yourself living in Norfolk when you know it's only big enough for one fucking spastic, right Decimus? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 14 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said: Oh fuck off. I believe the ghost bit, but a fucking pain in the arse like yourself living in Norfolk when you know it's only big enough for one fucking spastic, right Decimus? Oi,stop taking the piss out of Norfolk or ill give you a bunch of sixes. 👊 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 47 minutes ago, Williewhoopassjohnson said: It was watton wasn't it. I know becuase, i was the fog Fuck me, Willie, do you live in Nelson's county as well? I make that six of us now, we could be start a protection racket, The Red Right Hand of Norfolk, each of us a finger on a fist of pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cunty BigBollox Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 1 minute ago, Decimus said: Fuck me, Willie, Not the first time you've said that I bet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, Decimus said: Fuck me, Willie, do you live in Nelson's county as well? I make that six of us now, we could be start a protection racket, The Red Right Hand of Norfolk, each of us a finger on a fist of pain. You pack of backwoods, cousin fucking Hicks. I can just imagine you all at some inbred comprehensive in the swamp lands; behind the bike sheds at lunch, drew on the kestrel super, Neil furiously wanking and decs with his fingers up the rotten fanny of the class slag, likely a relation to half the form. You all disgust me 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 On 05/08/2018 at 21:32, Decimus said: Gather round fellow cunters, and make yourselves comfortable. Dim your lights, lock your doors and pour yourselves a large medicinal brandy. What I am about to divulge has never been discussed outside of my inner circle through fear of being ridiculed by sceptical naysayers. But as the weather cools and the nights slowly begin to draw in, I feel that it is time to share the horrors that I once confronted during a cold foggy, and damp November evening whilst wandering the bleak fens of Norfolk in 2013. Having attended a birthday of a colleague in a small hamlet just outside of Swaffham, I was dismayed to discover that the taxi I had ordered to take me to Norwich railway station at 11pm had failed to appear. Due to the complete lack of mobile phone coverage within the area, I was unable to call Mrs. D to mount a rescue mission, so began a five mile walk to the next village where a colleague was staying at a cosy local hostelry. No sooner had I set out upon the narrow country lane which led toward my salvation, than a thick mist suddenly descended upon me, rendering my surroundings completely obscured beyond a radius of a mere four feet. Stumbling blindly along in eerie silence, I desperately attempted to grope my way towards civilisation as I suddenly became overcome with a feeling of existential dread. Within a minute of the fog cloaking my senses, I began to sense that I was not alone in my nocturnal journey. A slow, rhythmic breathing was ever present behind my right ear, deepening and becoming more ragged as I nervously increased my pace in an effort to escape the spectre that was stalking me. As my own heart rate rapidly increased, I began to feel myself hyperventilating to the point that I had to stop my journey through fear of rendering myself unconscious and vulnerable to whatever was hunting me. After a brief two minute interlude where the only noise to break the sudden silence was the mournful hoot of a tawny owl, I began to run at full pelt, blindly crashing my way down the twisting lane that by now was completely cloaked by a veil of fridgid, ethereal vapour. I eventually reached the safety of my colleague's lodgings, and fortified with a double Laphroaig, I considered relaying to him the horrors that I had faced during my eventful night-time adventure. As I was about to begin, my colleague turned his face back from the roaring fire of his room and looked me directly in the face. It was at this point in time, I realised that the true horror was only just beginning. This was not my colleague that I was face to face with. The hideous face that still haunts dreams was none other than.... Shame you didn't get onto the Booker Prize list. The world has lost the next John Betjeman and arse bandit extraordinaire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Brit Brutus Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, Decimus said: Fuck me, Willie, do you live in Nelson's county as well? I make that six of us now, we could be start a protection racket, The Red Right Hand of Norfolk, each of us a finger on a fist of pain. Is this a trap? For I, too, call the flat plains of Norfolk home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stubby Pecker Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 2 minutes ago, Brit Brutus said: Is this a trap? For I, too, call the flat plains of Norfolk home Jesus titty fucking Christ, what is with this place that attracts you mob of 6 fingered freaks of evolution? It must be wall to wall cunts from The Wash to Essex 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penny Farthing Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 8 minutes ago, Brit Brutus said: Is this a trap? For I, too, call the flat plains of Norfolk home Strumpshaw Fen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camberwell gypsy Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 3 hours ago, ProfB said: I live in Norfolk. My home is haunted too - by a friendly 👻 . Where do you live, Fliddlers Green? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, Brit Brutus said: Is this a trap? For I, too, call the flat plains of Norfolk home Welcome...Brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted November 19, 2020 Author Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 4 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Jesus titty fucking Christ, what is with this place that attracts you mob of 6 fingered freaks of evolution? It must be wall to wall cunts from The Wash to Essex I can remember some new cunt a few years back brought this up. I can only think that your average inhabitant from Norfolk is firmly stuck in a 1970s mindset and lifestyle, and the unremitting racism, homophobia and outright disgusting comments on this site calls to us like a siren. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 West Norfolk is a fucking pikey haven,North Norfolk is for newly weds and nearly deads,Norwich is full of carrot crunchers and theEast is full of web footed immigrants,South Norfolk is where its at,clean air,nice people and loads and loads of open fields ideal for hiding 'erm......things. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Williewhoopassjohnson Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Decimus said: Fuck me, Willie, do you live in Nelson's county as well? I make that six of us now, we could be start a protection racket, The Red Right Hand of Norfolk, each of us a finger on a fist of pain. I certainly do buddy, worked in watton for seven years until recently, or wuhantaan as we are now calling it. CC norfolk army. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfie Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 12 minutes ago, Neil said: West Norfolk is a fucking pikey haven,North Norfolk is for newly weds and nearly deads,Norwich is full of carrot crunchers and theEast is full of web footed immigrants,South Norfolk is where its at,clean air,nice people and loads and loads of open fields ideal for hiding 'erm......things. How long have you been in west Norfolk, Neil? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 28 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said: Jesus titty fucking Christ, what is with this place that attracts you mob of 6 fingered freaks of evolution? It must be wall to wall cunts from The Wash to Essex Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 11 minutes ago, Neil said: West Norfolk is a fucking pikey haven,North Norfolk is for newly weds and nearly deads,Norwich is full of carrot crunchers and theEast is full of web footed immigrants,South Norfolk is where its at,clean air,nice people and loads and loads of open fields ideal for hiding 'erm......things. Wymondham, Neil? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 1 minute ago, Goober said: Wymondham, Neil? Neil you forgot the cabbage pickers. Don't they deserve a good shitting on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChildeHarold Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 4 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said: This is the heart of Brexit Britain I thought you'd feel at home with the turnips, turds and tatties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Brit Brutus Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 Just now, Dawn Chorus said: Strumpshaw Fen? Afraid not, although I have treated Brutus Jr. to the steam museum. The poor cunt 🚂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Goober Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 17 minutes ago, Neil said: West Norfolk is a fucking pikey haven,North Norfolk is for newly weds and nearly deads,Norwich is full of carrot crunchers and theEast is full of web footed immigrants,South Norfolk is where its at,clean air,nice people and loads and loads of open fields ideal for hiding 'erm......things. You forgot Breckland. Full of Portuguese poultry fuckers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 4 minutes ago, Goober said: Wymondham, Neil? No but spookily close Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neil Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 Just now, Goober said: You forgot Breckland. Full of Portuguese poultry fuckers. You forgot 'covid carrying' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Williewhoopassjohnson Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 1 hour ago, Stubby Pecker said: You pack of backwoods, cousin fucking Hicks. I can just imagine you all at some inbred comprehensive in the swamp lands; behind the bike sheds at lunch, drew on the kestrel super, Neil furiously wanking and decs with his fingers up the rotten fanny of the class slag, likely a relation to half the form. You all disgust me Mum? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted November 19, 2020 Report Share Posted November 19, 2020 6 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said: This is the heart of Brexit Britain I thought you'd feel at home with the turnips, turds and tatties. I prefer my counties to have three dimensions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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